Deer to Me by Suns Golden Ray

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 06/12/2004
Last Updated: 16/12/2004
Status: Completed

One day, during sixth year, James was out in the Forest in his Animagus form. He happened upon a
very irate Lily Evans, who was fuming over "that stupid toe-rag." Lily, thinking that the
stag is innocent, begins talking all about how much she hates him...and his cute arse. (First Book
of the LJ Series)




1. Get Over Yourself
--------------------

*"Let me give you a tip:
Get out of my sight, get off of your knees
Get out of my face, get out of my sleep
Get out of my space
How long do I have to show and tell,
Scream and yell?
Get over yourself!"
- Get Over Yourself, SHeDaisy*

**Deer to Me**
Chapter One

Once in a while, every girl has a bad day. Lily Evans, 6th year witch attending Hogwarts School
of witchcraft and wizardry was no exception.

The first thing that happened was she woke up this particular morning with a headache and stuffy
nose. That never did bode well for her. She also had trouble sleeping the night before. For some
reason, she could not close her eyes and sleep, but kept mulling over thoughts that centered around
her future, NEWTs, her Transfiguration test, and two fellow Gryffindors, who had tricked a first
year into eating a bewitched apple and his nose had grown five feet.

Said Gryffindors had continued to worsen her day when they had hexed a Slytherin fourth year
from behind a statue. Lily had it on good authority that said Slytherin was one of said
Gryffindor's brother. Still, it didn't stop her from going to McGonagall and requesting
points be taken away. She would just earn them back in their next class, Herbology.

She failed to earn the points back in Herbology because they were studying something Slytherins
obviously knew more about than she did. Plus she had to endure taunting from them, and that was
never a good thing.

Had to take more points away because same Gryffindors hexed Severus Snape, their favorite
target, citing that he had been rude to her in Herbology. She had to �patiently' remind them
that he was not apart of the taunting, and more points went away.

To make her day oh so much better, herr period decided to show up out of NO WHERE during Care of
Magical Creatures that day, along with body-bending cramps. She had to make up a very lame excuse
to Professor Kettleburn and run back to the castle.

Finally, her school day was over. Now it was time to do her homework. That wasn't going so
hot. First, she couldn't figure out how to begin her scroll for history. She started off with
something not even remotely well-written, scratched that out, then began anew. Her next try ended
badly because she kept misspelling every thing she wrote. Her third attempt went fairly well
(except that half of the parchment was covered in ink blots from previous attempts) until she
sneezed right on her paper. All of her somewhat well-written words were now covered in
Merlin-knows-what.

With a strangled cry, Lily threw her parchment across the room. A few people looked over at her,
but the rest ignored her as she retrieved the mistreated product of her tantrum to recopy it on a
new piece of parchment. But when she turned to go back to her table, so clearly marked with her own
things strewn from one end to another, someone was sitting at it.

And it wasn't just someone she could politely remind that she was sitting there and she was
in a very bad mood and it would not be wise to continue the habitation of said claimed chair,
either. It just had to be someone who had first been a part of the cause of her bad day. She was
positive that he would mock her for her display of anger, then run his hand through his hair like
the arrogant bastard he was and then have the AUDACITY to ask her on a date. AS IF Lily wanted to
date that prick, which she DIDN'T.

"Hm...Evans love, you could have put an eye out." The target of her wrath stated very
nonchalantly.

"What?" Lily retorted, trying to keep some sort of her famous temper under
control.

"Throwing things across the room like you just did." He slid backwards in his chair
and put his hands behind his head. "You could have put someone's eye out."

"Potter, today is not a good day," Lily stated through clenched teeth. "Get away
from my table."

"Oh, is this your table?" James said. "Well, there's a little bit of space
here for me, don't you think?"

"No."

"You got up."

"Potter, we are not first years any more. Can't you come up with a comeback that's
at least your own age?"

"I know you are, but what am I?" That nearly sent Lily over the edge as she balled her
hands into fists.

"Why can't you go sit at another table?" she spoke through clenched teeth.

"Because they're all full," he said, without looking around. Lily raised her
eyebrow at him. There were about five people in the common room, as most everyone else was outside
enjoying what was left of the afternoon.

"Really?"

"I...don't want to be alone at a table," James said, smiling at his own
cleverness.

"Your best friend is right over there," Lily said, slowly losing what iota of her
patience was left. Sure enough, his partner-in-crime was over by the fireplace, along with the rest
of James's cohorts.

"Oh him. He can get really annoying sometimes."

Lily had never, ever, considered hurting another human being in her entire life. But right then,
she was about an hair's breath away from socking James Potter right there in his arrogant
little mouth. She let out a huff of air and sat down where she was before, pulling her history
essay in front of her and copying it very neatly and precisely. She even found some good in her
wasted parchment, it served as good scratch paper for her outline and-

Dear Merlin, was he singing now!!!

"James will you PLEASE be quiet?"

"Oh, was I singing aloud?" he said, very innocent-looking.

"YES!"

"You could have just politely asked me to be quiet, you know. You don't have to get
your knickers in a twist."

"You...." Lily started but then went back to her essay with increased fervor. But now
she couldn't concentrate. Just him sitting there was enough to drive her over the edge. She was
waiting for anything, ANYTHING, any excuse to jump at him. She was just in one of those kinds of
moods.

Suddenly, he coughed. A little clearing of the throat. Barely a noise. But it was enough.

"That is IT!" she exclaimed, taking her things and walking out of the common room.
James looked at her with a funny expression and then shrugged it off. He looked around the common
room and trotted over to Sirius.

"We going?"

"Waiting on you, mate," sirius said. "What was with Evans today?"

"I dunno. Probably on her period or something," James said.

"Most likely," sirius said. "So where we going tonight?"

"I thought we'd go see what's happening in the Forbidden Forest," James said.
"What do you think?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Where's Moony?"

"Prefect duties," James said, upturning his nose. "I swear, ever since Dumbledore
picked him for that damn job, he's been no fun."

"What about Wormtail? Where's he been?"

"Who knows," James said. "Looks like it's going to be just us after a
while."

"At least until the next full moon," sirius added with a grin.
***
Life was so much more simpler when one was an animal. All of his odd feelings from puberty and
red-heads virtually disappeared. All of his thoughts, though still there, just seemed much more
serene.

Sirius was already ahead of him in the forest, chasing after some bird or something. James was
taking his time, stretching his legs and feeling the wind in his fur and through his antlers.
Suddenly, he stopped, pricking his ears up to listen.

"...damn asshole. Thinks he owns everything. Probably does, too. Spoiled brat..."

*I know that voice.* He trotted over to a clearing just on the edge of the forest where
Lily was hunched over her homework, her wand a lit above her head and stuck into a hole in the
tree. She had gotten a fair amount done, as evidence by her closed books, but she was still a long
way to go.

James edged closer, his animal nose picking up her scent from yards away. He jumped when he
stepped on a twig, and Lily looked up to see him. She gasped and James was half-intent to run
away.

"What a gorgeous stag," she breathed. James realized that she didn't know who he
was. He stepped back, a little hesitant of her when she stood up and approached him. "I
didn't know that deer lived in the Forbidden Forest."

She reached a hand out and touched his fur. James twitched involuntarily at her cautious
touches, but soon relaxed.

"You are so beautiful," she said, moving her hands up to pet his face. "And so
calm."

*As long as you keep petting, love.* James's skin was crawling with her touch, and it
sent tingles up and down his spine.

"You have his eyes," Lily stated, startling James. *Who's eyes?* He thought.
Lily continued in her absent-minded conversation."Though I like yours better. James's are
more arrogant. More self- satisfying."

*Oh really? But you are talking about me, aren't you Lily. So you do think of me as
something other than a bullying toe-rag.* He felt cold when she left him to go back to where she
had been sitting.

"I really hate him sometimes. He just rubs me the wrong way. I can't stand those
arrogant guys that strut around thinking everyone's going to fall at their feet." James
swivelled his head to look at her.

*Do I strut?*

"But then again, who could blame him. He's smart, funny, great at sports, not to
mention he's got this beautiful body and this killer" James was pleased that she was about
to say �bum', but she trailed off "...well, you get the picture." Lily laughed a
little and James was pleased to notice a blush on her face.

*You bet your sweet ass I do. I was right, you CAN'T resist my charms!*

"Merlin, if he ever found out that I thought that, I don't think Hogwarts built doors
big enough to fit his giant head."

*Hey!*

"Well I suppose it's all for the best that I can't stand him. He'd be perfect
if he didn't have that arrogant air about him, and then where would we all be? There don't
need to be perfect people in the world." Lily sat back down on her thinking spot and went back
to work. James just stood there watching her.

"I thought you'd have left by now," Lily said, looking up at him. "I
can't do my work with you staring at me like that."

*But I could stare at you all night.*

Lily looked up at the darkening sky above her. "I suppose I'll go in. Maybe that
toe-rag's gone from the common room."

*Wow, I went from killer ass to toe-rag in less than a minute.* James lowered his head and
nuzzled at the grass in embarrassment.

Lily gathered up her stuff and turned to him once more. "Well, I suppose I'll see you
around." She walked towards him and gave him one last pet around the antlers. "Wish me
luck against the prick."

*This perception of me must change.*
***
James burst into the 6th year dormitory and ran over to Sirius's bed. The curtains were
drawn. He knocked on the wooden post. "Hey! Padfoot! I got something to tell you!"

He heard a sigh from inside the curtains. "Kinda busy right now, Prongs." He heard a
feminine giggle.

"But this is important!" James whined.

"Next time your with a girl, James. Next time," Sirius muttered, throwing open the
curtain. He was shirtless and so was the girl he was with. James recognized her as a 5th year.
Sirius winked at her and shut the curtains behind him.

"What?"

"Nice," James smiled at him. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Guess what just happened?"

"What?" Sirius guessed. "Aliens landed?"

"No, I..." He took a glance at the bed and moved Sirius to the other side of the room.
"I was in the Forbidden forest and guess who I found."

"The Minister of Magic?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Hurry up."

"Lily," James grinned. Sirius blinked at him and then looked back over to the bed.

"You pulled me away from that to tell me that you found Evans in the forest. You are so
dead."

"No, no. I was as a you-know-what, so she didn't know it was me," James said.
"So then she started talking about how she hates me and whatnot-"

"James, if you didn't learn anything, I'm going to strangle you-"

"-I also learned that she thinks I have a sexy ass," sirius paused for a moment and
then went back to the bed.

"Come get me if you learn anything Earth-shattering."

"But-" Sirius curtains closed and the girl behind it giggled and moaned.

"Hmph," James frowned at him. "Maybe Remus will understand."
***
He found his studious werewolf downstairs helping out a second year with a Swelling solution.
Once the second year saw James come downstairs, he ran away in fright and Remus gave him a tired
look.

"Must you always do that?" he sighed.

"What?" James shrugged. "I didn't do anything."

"What's on your mind." Remus asked. James related his problem to Remus. Remus
tapped his quill on the table and listened patiently to James's story. His face changed from
one of interest to one of indecision to one of caution.

"So what do you think?" James asked.

"James, I'm going to caution you," Remus said. "It sounds like you have
stumbled across a way to listen to Lily's most private thoughts. Not to mention that you
aren't her favorite person in the world and if she found out, she would be very hurt and feel
very violated."

"Can't imagine why?" Remus wasn't surprised to see that James was serious
about that statement. He was good at about everything else, except sometimes he had a tendency to
gloss over other people's feelings to make him happy.

"James, I'm your friend, right?"

"Of course you are, Moony," James smiled at him.

"Then as your friend, I'm going to advise you against taking this route to get to Lily.
It is just going to end up in a lot of pain for her and you probably won't get what your going
for.

"Gee thanks a lot Moony," James frowned at him and stood up. "Something good
happened to me and you're all pissy about it."

"Prongs, I-" Remus called after him, but he was on the other side of the room, where
Peter was struggling with his homework.

"Hey Wormtail," James said. Peter looked up happily.

"Hey James!" James went into detail about his encounter in the forest and Peter was
grinning the whole time.

"That's great, Prongs!"

James sighed. Good ol' Wormtail.



2. Hotel Paper
--------------

*You turned out to be more than I bargained for
And I can see that you want to get away
Forgive me if I had known
That I'd love to love you
-Hotel Paper, Michelle Branch*

**Deer to Me**
Chapter Two

"Prongs, you know you're my best mate, but never, ever interrupt me on a date,"
Sirius gave him a menacing look as he piled eggs and ham onto his place.

"I was not aware that was a date, Padfoot," James crammed a giant piece of bacon into
his mouth and chewed on it, eyebrow raised at Sirius. "I thought it was commonly known as a
�one night stand'."

"Well what does your definition of a date imply?"

"Well, you know. Going out somewhere first and then taking her back to my room," James
shrugged.

"I'm broke, sorry," Sirius stuffed more egg into his mouth. "Not a shilling
to the traitor until he switches to Slytherin." Just then, Remus and Peter joined them at the
table and began filling their plates.

"So, James, I know that you've already made up your mind, but are you going to take my
advice?" Remus asked.

"No," James said. "You're wrong. Lily won't be hurt. She'll never
find out. How could she?"

"Let me count the ways," Remus muttered. "What if she does? What then?"

"What're you talking about?" Sirius asked.

"Remus here is opposed to my method of learning a little bit more about Lily," James
explained. Sirius nodded and then looked back at James.

"What method?"

"What I told you about last night," James told him. "You know, using
Prongs."

"Ah. And why are you opposed to this method, Moony?"

"How would you like someone coming up to you and learning all of your deepest
secrets?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. "I wouldn't care. I don't have anything to hide. Besides, it's
her fault for opening her mouth in the first place."

"But she thinks that he's a harmless animal." Remus was getting exasperated.
"That's not fair."

"Can I help it if Prongs looks so trusting?" A halo popped above James's head.

"Just don't come crying to me when you've hurt Lily and she refuses to ever look at
you ever again," Remus shrugged.

"Look, Moony. I'll make you a deal, ok?" James didn't like to see Remus pout,
he wouldn't be around for moral advise later on. Seeing Remus, giving him a mildly interested
look, he continued. "If Lily comes out on the short end of the stick, I'll publicly
humiliate myself."

"How is that going to make her feel better?" Remus asked.

"...." James looked to Sirius and he shrugged.
- ***
Classes dragged on unusually slow, because James was very excited about tonight. He was going to
return and hope that Lily would as well. He was pretty sure she'd be there because she often
disappeared during the afternoons and evenings; he'd always thought that she was in the
library.

After Charms, James quickly crossed the castle to get to the entrance and walked out of it. He
looked around to see if anyone was watching him (pausing to wink at some girls) and then made his
way across the grounds.

"Where do you think you're going, Potter?" James stopped and rolled his eyes,
turning to see Serverus Snape come out from behind the beech tree by the lake.

"None of your business, Snivelly," James spat back.

"Not going to the Forbidden Forest, are we?" Snape sneered. "After Filch has been
so kind to remind you time and time again-"

"How about I give you a new nose, Snivellus," James growled, pulling out his wand.
"So you can keep it out of my damn business."

"Watch yourself Potter," Snape grinned. "I am a prefect."

"Simply because you're the only obsequious bastard among that whole lot." James
was up in his face now. "You're just trash."

"James!" He heard a voice behind him, which was unfortunate (or fortunate for Snape)
because James was about to blow his head off.

The voice was much more timid now. "Um, Captain? It's time for practice."

James inwardly cursed. He'd forgotten all about the Quidditch practice he'd scheduled
for this afternoon. He backed away from Snape and put his wand away.

"I'm watching you, Potter."

"Get a life, Snivellus." James ran to join his terrified Chaser and go to the pitch.
He looked over to the Forbidden Forest and wondered if Lily was sitting down to do some homework.
But his thoughts soon turned to Quidditch once he set foot inside the locker room. He had a large
grin on his face and counted off his teammates.

To say James was a bit obsessive was being nice. When it was Quidditch time, he was a maniac,
rain, sleet, snow, shine, he had his team out on the pitch working like dogs so that every play was
flawless, every pass was perfectly timed, every everything was absolutely precise.

James had never once, in his entire two years of captaincy, let his team off early, in fact,
they usually had to walk off the field to get him to stop.

However, five minutes into practice, something caught his eye. He turned to see a little red
head running towards the forest. His stomach gave a funny leap and he zoomed towards his other
teammates with a very big smile on his face.

"Practice is over!" he cried, catching them all by such surprise that one of the
Chasers fell off his broom.

"What?!"

"Is he a Slytherin under Polyjuice Potion?"

"No, no, guys," James said. "You...uh...you look great! And I thought it'd be
a nice..."what holiday was coming up? He wondered "...Halloween present to let you off
early."

His team was staring at him as if he had three heads.

"But we have a match against Slytherin this weekend!"

"And we're just going to flatten them aren't we?" He gave a nervous laugh and
shooed them off the pitch. He was etchy to get to the Forbidden Forest and see Lily and found that
they were going very slow and incredulously.

"Come on, come on!" James cooed, practically shoving them into the locker room once
they were all on the ground.

"But Captain, did you not see Melany drop the Quaffle-"

"No, no. Honest mistake," James patted her on the back. Melany's jaw dropped. She
was easily the clumsiest on the team and being around James increased her clumsiness because he was
prone to giving her a hard time about it. Hard time meaning yelling and jumping up and down and
cursing.

"Now, I'm off!" James got out of his robes quicker than any of them and
haphazardly threw his broom inside his locker. The team was now sure that James was crazy because
he usually spent the most time out of all of them neatly hanging up his Quidditch robes and using
his broom servicing kit to snip any stray twigs off of it and waxing it until it shone
brilliantly.

James zoomed across the grounds and ran into the Forbidden Forest, changing into Prongs as soon
as he was out of sight of the pitch. He ran through the thick underbrush and breathed a sigh of
relief when Lily was exactly where she had been before.

She looked up and smiled at him.

"It's you again."

*Did you think I wouldn't come back?* He padded over to her and stuck his head within
arms' reach of her.

She laughed and petted him.

"You are so demanding. Next thing I know you'll be asking me to wax your antlers,"
she smiled. James felt warmth in his heart; she was in a good mood.

"I've got to finish my Charms homework." She pushed him away slightly. James would
have grinned. It was common knowledge that Lily was the best in their class at Charms and was
happiest when she was there.

She turned her head to the bright lights of the Quidditch pitch where he could see the light
still on and some people zooming around. James snuffed as he replayed his actions with the team in
his mind. He wasn't surprised to see that his team was back practicing and he was sure he was
going to get some questions tomorrow.

"I take it you don't like Quidditch either." Lily cocked her head and wrote a few
words down on her parchment. "Personally I think all sports are dumb."

James gawked at her. *You are shitting me.*

"People chasing a ball around and getting hit with other harder balls until some guy finds
a ball the size of a peanut."

James was still stuck on her first statement of �sports are dumb.'

"What?" Lily could see the utter shock on his face. It surprised her, but maybe this
animal was actually comprehending her. What the hell, it was a magical forest; anything was
possible. She went back to her Charms homework and saw that James was staring at her still. She
laughed and shook her head.
- ***
"This is not going to work!" James burst into the room. Sirius' curtains were
drawn again. "Padfoot, you in there with a girl?"

There was a sigh from inside. "No, Padfoot. I'm in here by myself for the first time
since fourth year."

"Oh good," James nodded and went to move the curtain. Sirius let out a strangled
cry.

"I was kidding, you blighter! What the hell do you want?"

"Padfoot, it's not going to work. She hates sports."

"I'm going to give you three seconds to get away from my bed before I come out there
and *Avada Kedavra* you."

"But-"

"One."

"Padfoot-"

"Two."

"Fine," James sulked away towards his own bed and laid down in it. He was mulling over
his latest discovery. She hated sports; she hated sports. How could anyone hate sports? They were
so exciting! They had danger! They had hot girls!

James suddenly had a thought. What if she didn't *understand* sports? He'd seen her
once or twice at a Quidditch game, but she looked as if she was dragged there. He nodded to
himself, deciding what his next plan of action would be and walked back over to Sirius.

"Padfoot, I'm going to-"

"PRONGS! I'm in the MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!"

"Geez, sorry," James threw a smirk back to Sirius' bed. All four of the boys put
silencing charms around their beds during their 5th year because Remus was complaining that he
couldn't sleep between Peter's snoring and Sirius's nightly guests.
- ***
"Good morning, Lily!" James said, chipperly, plopping down next to Lily who was
reading the newspaper.

"Yes, Potter? How may I help you?"

"You can date me for one-"

"Not likely," Lily snapped back without lifting her eyes. She realized right after
she'd spoken that she had set herself up, but it was a usual banter they shared.

"And for another, you can tell me whether or not you're coming to my game this
weekend." James prided himself in his deviousness. He had spent half the night mulling on how
he was going to explain Quidditch to her without letting his secret out and when he realized they
had a game against Slytherin that weekend, he could just �bring up the subject.'

"No, Potter I am not."

"And may I ask why you are not coming to support our house?" James face was of mock
upsetness.

"I support our house just fine." Lily turned the page and took a sip of her tea.
"I'm the one gaining our house points back after you and Black loose them all the time,
aren't I?"

"Er...yes, but I would play so much better if you were there." James turned on his
charming smile.

"I'm sure you'll find the snatch or whatever it's called just fine without
me."

James bit his lip to keep from crying. Snatch?

"Snitch, Lily," he chocked out. "Snitch."

"Whatever," she turned to the sports section and kept turning. James made a noise.

"Lily, do you not know what Quidditch is about?

"Yes, people go get a ball and try to put it through a hoop." Lily pulled the Prophet
closer to her and made a noise, shaking her head.

"Lily, you have no idea," James shook his head and ran his hands through his hair in
aggravation. Lily gave him a glare that went unnoticed by him. She despised it when he ruffled his
hair.

"Pardon me if I am not a sports fan, Potter."

"But..," he made a few whining sounds. "Lily...you..."

"Get over it Potter," Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not coming to your
game."

"Not even for me?" James asked, batting his eyes at her.

"Especially not for you," Lily shook her head.
- ***
Even though she had given him such a blatant response, James had his hopes up when he mounted
his broom that Saturday. He spent a few minutes circling the Gryffindor side (and when he
didn't see her there, he swooped around the Slytherin side). He was so dejected that she
wasn't there that Slytherin caught the Snitch and won by ten.

"I think she's working for the Slytherins," Sirius called to him. He was trying to
drown himself in their showers.

"Don't worry about it Prongs," Remus placated. "Maybe it just isn't meant
to be."

"You also know what they say, Prongs," Sirius opened up a chocolate frog.
"Opposites attract."

"Like you care," James pouted, soaking wet and coming out from the shower.

"Don't be a pussy Prongs," Sirius barked. "I was with a girl and you just
barge in asking my advice."

James sighed. "I can't believe she didn't come..."

"I've got an idea," Remus said, thoughtfully. "How about instead of asking
her to do what *you* want to do, you do what *she* likes to do."

"But...what if I don't want to do what she wants to do," James asked.

Sirius and Remus sighed. "Then you're destined to be alone for the rest of your life,
mate," Sirius shook his head.



3. Another Bag of Bricks
------------------------

*T'was in the early evenin'
In the presence of the moon
You told me you would meet me here
Well now is not too soon
This dagger twisting in my back
Tells me I never should have trusted everything to fall
From begger to the fool
-Another Bag of Bricks, Flogging Molly*

Chapter Three

James was not one to be easily deterred. He assured himself that Hogsmeade was not built in a
day, and that this was going to be a long-term project. Somehow, someway, he would have to learn
the concept of patience. And by Merlin, he was going to do it too. He was going to crack Lily Evans
if it took him all of sixth year.

"Well, I admire your fervor, Prongs, but are you really going to follow through?"
Sirius asked, as they walked down the hall on their way to Potions class. "You've said you
were going to do things before, and you never did them."

"Like what?"

"Well, for one, you promised me a toilet seat made of gold in third year."

"It's in the post," James snorted, rubbing his hands together. "But I'm
serious, Padfoot, I'm going to figure out just how she ticks, and then make her fall madly in
love with me."

"And then what?" Sirius asked.

"...I dunno, actually," James said, brow furrowed, queuing up in line. Sirius started
chuckling, and blew warm air into his hands.

"It's so bloody cold down here," Sirius shivered. "I can't feel my
nose." To prove his point, he started poking at it.

"Me neither," James began blowing through his mouth and, sure enough, he could see his
breath. "Do you think it's bewitched to be freezing down here?"

"Sounds like something Slytherins would do." Sirius wrapped his cloak closer around
him and blew out through his lips.. "So when are you going out there?"

"Probably after History today," James grinned. "I can-"

"Going somewhere illegal again Potter?" Snape sneered as he walked out of the
classroom, holding a large bag. James could see thick, old books which were most likely Dark Arts
books. Snape caught him looking and shifted the bag away from James' eyesight.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Snivelly," Sirius mused, lazily
playing with his wand. "Unless, of course, you want to be hexed into next week."

"Just try it Black," Snape hissed, also clutching his wand. "You'll be
expelled faster than you can say-"

"It'll be worth it if I can see your sorry hide in ashes," Sirius sneered
back.

"I suppose your family wouldn't be happy to see you expelled, because then they'd
have you for more than the sum-OOF!"

But he didn't finish his sentence because James had turned and hexed him, snarling at him
for insulting his best friend. Snape was on his feet instantly, firing back, but his aim was off
and he hit a nearby Hufflepuff, who sprouted an elephant trunk.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Stop-" Sirius hexed him with every word
"-hurting- innocent-people-Snivelly." James cackled as Snape was powerless to stop the
assault.

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW SIRIUS BLACK!" A giant bundle of jackets and scarves was waddling
with a purpose towards them. Even underneath the thick wooly hat, red hair was visible and green
eyes were blazing. "YOU LET HIM GO!"

"Evans!" James said, turning and grinning, his hand going to his head. "He
insulted us, we-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DID!" Lily screamed, but it was muffled by her scarf around
her mouth. "YOU LET HIM GO THIS INSTANT!"

"Well, what have we here?" The Potions master (and also Slytherin head of house) was
surveying the area. "Black? Potter? I should have known. Detention for the two of you, as well
as thirty points from Gryffindor."

James and Sirius just shrugged it off, walking inside.

"Five from Slytherin, Mr. Snape," he said, as if it pained him to take away points.
"And another ten for your disruption, Miss Evans."

Lily stared at him, but didn't say anything. She felt her ears burn with anger as she
stormed into the classroom sitting in a corner by herself. James looked over to see her, but the
look she gave him was enough to scare him out of his wits and realize that he, again, had screwed
up.

Though, being the boy that he was, he still had no idea why.
***
Deciding that the best way to gather information when she was so angry she could barely see
straight was to approach her as a harmless animal, he met her again in the outskirts of the
Forbidden Forest where she was peeling off all of her extra layers. James heart gave a flipflop
when she took off her hat and gave her long red hair an angry shake.

She jumped in fright when she saw him, and then put a hand to her heart.

"You scared me," she whispered. "I've had a bad day."

James approached her and she stepped forward to pet him. Tell me all about it, love.

"James-bloody-Potter and his stupid friend attacked a helpless student today," Lily
sighed, glaring at the ground. "Two against one? How is that fair?"

James chose to ignore that.

"I'm so glad that Remus isn't like them."

James did not ignore that.

"You don't know who Remus is, do you?" Lily was obviously calming down about
something. But James wasn't entirely sure that he wanted her to calm down about it. She seemed
to be talking about something she liked a whole lot better than James Potter at the moment and he
was beginning to think that it was Remus Lupin.

"Remus is the kindest Gryffindor in our year," Lily rolled her eyes. "Not as if
there was much to choose from. James Potter and Sirius Black, the school's biggest annoyances.
Then there's Peter Pettigrew. He just hangs out with Potter, but he's no where near any of
them talent-wise. And then there's Remus. Kind, sweet, never-even-hurt-a-fly Remus
Lupin."

Obviously you've never seen the werewolf side of him. If James could have, he would have
growled. Lily was talking about Remus in an entirely wrong way.

"If you want to know something, I've fancied him for several years now. I've just
never....well, if James Potter found out...." she trailed off and looked at her hands.
"As rotten as they are, they're his only friends and I think that if I said anything,
they'd stop being his friends and that would be just awful."

James stared at her, torn. On the one hand, he was pissed at Remus Lupin for being such a
backstabbing charmer. On the other hand, he was amazed at the depth of Lily's heart.

"So anyways, I'm just going to keep my little secret as I always have and blow off
Potter as I always have."

That's not much to aspire to, if you catch my meaning, love.
***
"RE-MUS!" James bellowed, announcing his appearance in the common room. Lily had
continued to name off Remus's good points contrasted with his and Sirius's bad points and
James had finally got enough and left, headed straight for the Common Room to have a word with his
ex-Marauder friend.

"What?" Remus's exasperated reply came much softer. James turned and marched over
to his so- called friend and plopped down in front of him, not even noticing the second year that
he was tutoring again. This time she had stayed, but was pale with fright.

"What is going on with you and Lily?" James demanded, putting his finger down on the
paper.

Remus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What are you on about
now?"

"Lily."

"Yes, I've established that much, but what are you talking about?"

"Remus, I have been a good friend to you, haven't I?" If he wasn't going to
directly come out and say anything, then James was going to take the indirect route by making him
feel very guilty.

"Well-" Remus smiled.

"Haven't I?"

"Prongs, of course you have been a very good friend to me."

"So why, all of a sudden, did you decide to be a back-stabbing,
traitorous...back-stabber!" James sputtered. Remus was obviously taken aback by this, but then
calmly took a break.

"That was a tad redundant, Prongs," Remus stated. "But I would like to know what
crime I have been wrongly accused of."

"You have been putting the moves on Lily," James pointed his finger at Remus's
face.

"It's not nice to point, James." Remus moved the offending finger out of his face.
"But, honestly, what makes you think that I've been 'putting the moves on Lily,'
as you said."

"Lily's all on about how she fancies you and how cute you are. And how much of a
complete arsehole I am!" James' expression was trying for murderous, but was just ending
up as pouty. Remus gave a look to the second year that said �We'll finish later' and
cleared his throat. The second year ran away faster than a blur.

"And when did she disclose this information to you?"

"Today, in the forest," James said. Remus closed his eyes.

"James, if you didn't want to know what she was thinking, then you shouldn't spy on
her. I hate to say, 'I told you so,' but I told-"

"So you're admitting that it's true, then!" James said, standing up. "I
can't believe it Moony. After all we've been through, you sneak around like a, like a, like
a RAT-"

"Hey!" Peter said, indignant.

"Sorry, Wormtail," James said. He reared back on Remus. "But I cannot excuse this
behavior. This is WAR, Remus. WAR!"

"Whatever you say, Prongs." Remus went back to his book, believing that this would
blow over in a few days.
***
But, as James' persistent nature proved, this did not blow over in a few days. In fact,
James let it drag out to a whole two weeks, through Halloween and into November. Remus was rather
proud of his persistence; normally, James would be on a vendetta for a few days and then leave it
alone, but he was really following through this time. Remus, as he did with everything else, just
kept puttering along.

James started to show up when Remus and Lily were taking rounds, something very unnerving to
Lily, but highly amusing to Remus. He'd show up out of nowhere (Remus knew that he'd been
following them under the Invisibility Cloak) and walk in-between them, saying sweet things to Lily
and off-handed allusions to Remus's great betrayal.

Remus tried to explain to James that it wasn't working, but James refused to listen to him,
and kept showing up over and over again, every afternoon and evening when they were making
rounds.

"Oh Merlin, there he is again," Lily said, as James approached them with a large
smile, Remus noted, only directed at her.

"How are you doing today, my perfect prefect?"

"I was doing just fine until you showed up," Lily muttered.

"Oh, you wound me. Kinda like a knife in the BACK," James hissed towards Remus. Remus
continued walking with a strained smile on his face.

"James, you are so weird." Lily shook her head and continued walking without them.
James glared at Remus and sniffed.

"Now look what you did." James sent a death glare Remus's way.
***
James's lament began to spill over into classes. He refused to sit next to Remus and placed
Sirius in between them whenever they were together. Sirius and Peter didn't ask what was going
on, though they were curious. Remus was obviously becoming more upset about this as the full moon
approached. As much as James annoyed him sometimes, he really needed him there during his
transformations.

Remus was already feeling a bit under the weather as the full moon was two days away. James was
continuing on as usual without any indication that he knew that the day was approaching. After
James had gotten the three of them detention for interrupting class in Transfiguration, Sirius
finally decided to intervene.

"Look, I think this is going a tad too far," he looked at the both of them. James was
seething and looking the other way, Remus was tapping his foot impatiently and kept throwing dirty
looks to James. Sirius sighed, "Well?"

"It's not my fault!" Remus said, nodding to James. "He's the one
who's...well," he eyed the other side of the room where Lily was reading a book.
"He's the one learning deep secrets about her," Remus finished with a whisper.

"Yes, but you're the one putting moves on *my girl*!" James hissed.

"I have not been putting the moves on anyone!" Remus blinked.

"So why does Lily like you, instead of James?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," Remus said, though the look on his face was the one where he was
withholding possible offending information.

"Lupin?" Sirius said, stepping forward. "You aren't telling us the whole
truth, are you?"

Remus squirmed a bit until he finally relented. "Look, the pair of you are a bunch of
annoying berks. She doesn't like it when you go around hexing people for fun."

James' jaw dropped. "Why the bloody hell not?"

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed. "Because, Prongs, she's got a good heart like that.
Don't tell me you haven't noticed it with all of your...spying and all..."

James tapped his foot on the ground. "So..what you're saying is that I need to study
her more, right?"

"No, I'm saying that you need to stop hexing people," Remus muttered.

"Great!" James beamed. "I think I shall start a journal of sorts-" He
happily trotted up to the room.

Remus put his head in his hands and groaned. Sirius cleared his throat.

"That's not what you said, was it?"

"No."

"James needs to stop hexing people, doesn't he?"

"That and he needs to stop being an arse in general," Remus said staring at the
ceiling. "But, of course, he only hears what he wants to."

"That's our Prongs."



4. This Side
------------

*"Your first dawn blinded you,
Left you cursing the day
Entrance is crucial and it's not without pain
There's no path to follow once you're here
Climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs."
-This Side, Nickel Creek*

Chapter Four

Breakfast was interrupted very messily by every single goblet at the Slytherin table, exploding
onto their faces at precisely eight forty-seven. Though there was no doubt to the culprits of this
attack, evidence was needed. So angry and finger-wagging, McGonagall put a Priori Incantatum on
each of the four boys' wands.

James and Sirius didn't seem to mind the detention, in fact, they were proud of their
accomplishment, swaggering into Double Herbology. Remus followed behind, a ghost of a smile on his
stony face, and Peter ran in behind them, giddy with excitement. They saddled into their respective
seats and a few Gryffindor girls swooned (the Slytherin girls tried their best to look
uninterested). Lily took no notice of them, choosing instead to work on her plant and ignoring
everything else. James scooted over to her with his plant and began pouring gravel into it.

"Did you like the entertainment this morning, love?"

Lily snorted. "No, I thought it was juvenile and not the least entertaining." If James
was upset by this disclosure, he didn't show it. He continued to pour gravel into his purple
plant and shoot glances over to Lily.

Elsewhere, the topic of conversation was the latest news in the Daily Prophet. Some dark wizards
had broken into the Department of Records in the Ministry of Magic and stolen something, but, as
there was a record of every single thing that happened in the magical world, it would take some
time for them to sort through and see what was missing. Lily had a hunch that it had to do with
muggles or muggle-borns because they were quickly becoming the victim of choice.

She was becoming more and more nervous reading the Prophet these mornings; it all seemed to be
bad news about this new wizard, Voldemort, who was killing people left and right. It gave her a
sick feeling every time someone even mentioned his name; his crimes were becoming too heinous. He
was taking this whole �pure-blood' idea to a radical new level, and what was more scary was
that pure-blood families were jumping on the bandwagon as well, voluntarily.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a tense silence punctuated by the Slytherin giggling. Professor
McGonagall, the head of Gryffindor, had just came into the greenhouse. Lily's breath had
stopped, fearing the worst, but all eyes were focused on a girl in Lily's house, Jennifer
Hayden.

James was murmuring under his breath. Lily turned to him.

"What?"

"Her dad worked in the Department of Records," James explained. Jennifer's eyes
were tearing up and she was shaking her head. McGonagall helped her out of the room, her face
white. The Slytherins continued to snicker and whisper among each other.

Professor Sprout cleared her throat and the class looked to her. Her voice, usually boisterous
and happy, was unusually calm.

"Please continue repotting your plants, students."
***
Lily didn't return to the common room, but she headed straight for her thinking spot. She
was completely surprised to see her stag friend waiting for her there. Which was good, because she
had a lot on her mind.

"And here I thought that you had given up on me," she said. "You seemed so upset
when I talked about Remus, that I thought you had left me."

*Never, Lily, never.* James trotted over to Lily and stuck his head out for her to pet. She
complied readily.

"I don't think that the whole �Remus' thing is going to work out, anyways. He's
been, shall we say, politely giving me signs that he's not interested." Lily laughed a
little.

*Always knew I liked that boy.*

Lily stopped petting James and looked down at her hands. She held them tightly because they were
shaking.

"I get so scared sometimes." Her voice was now shaking. "I think that maybe some
day McGonagall is going to come into the classroom and say that it was me. No one is safe anymore,
not even Muggles."

James reached forwards and nudged her in the shoulder.

"They've all got that Slytherin mentality," Lily growled. "Pure blood and all
that nonsense. It's completely crazy. I'm so thankful that my family are Muggles so that
they can't see any of this. All they hear are my grades and that's it. It's so
difficult trying to hide all of this from them. They'd never let me come back if they knew that
I was being treated the way I was."

She gave a little laugh.

"I still remember my first train ride. I was so terrified of the whole ordeal. I was so
shocked when the wizard came to my house to explain to me that I was a witch, I'd forgotten how
to get on the train, so I had to write back Professor McGonagall to ask her if she had made a
mistake on the platform number, and then she wrote me back with explicit instructions on how I was
to get through. Still, I remember walking up to the column and staring at the bricks, wondering if
this was all some wonderful joke."

James noticed that her voice was becoming more spiteful. "Then I had my first encounter
with the pure-blood types. I think his name was Malfoy, he graduated a few years ago."

*Slimy git.* James sure enough remembered Malfoy. He was exceedingly rich and exceedingly
arrogant. He and one of Sirius's many cousins were rumored to be dating or married, he
wasn't sure which.

"I remember he grabbed me roughly and shoved me out of the way, calling me a �stupid
Muggle.' Then he disappeared. So I followed him. He turned around and gave me a scathing look.
�Mudblood, are you?' and then walked away."

There were tears in her eyes. James was stunned. He knew that Muggle-borns had it bad, but he
didn't realize just how bad things got for them. He was thankful that he at least was mostly
wizard, for it saved him much grief.
***
"Hm. So what do you want to do about it?" Sirius asked during lunch. James shrugged
and shoveled more food into his mouth.

"Maybe we can start hexing people," James said. "Slytherins, I mean."

"Maybe." Sirius thought about it for a while. "But it might seem like an
unprovoked activity. And you know how Evans gets her knickers in a twist whenever you hex
someone."

"Yeah," James agreed. Sirius leaned back on his chair and rubbed his chin in thought.
He let out a gasp and sat forwards, a lightbulb appearing above his head.

"I've got the perfect idea!" he said.

"Ok, go ahead," James said. Sirius leaned across the table so that no one could hear
them.

"This is what you do. You get a girl from Lily's dorm and sleep with her. She goes
back, telling Lily that you slept with her, Lily gets all jealous, complains about it to
Prongs."

James stared at him. "But how is that going to get me better off?"

Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it, sitting back and thinking. "I dunno, but at
least you'd get laid..."

"Well, we have more important things to think about anyways," James shrugged.
"Tonight?"

Sirius grinned, "Yup." They leaned in together and began planning when James suddenly
sat up, cursing.

"What?"

"What if she goes out there tonight!?" he whispered harshly. Sirius mirrored his
expression.

"What if she's been there all along and we've just missed her!"

James counted up the times that they had gone out into the Forbidden Forest and suddenly felt
extremely lucky.

"Prongs, you'd better find her and persuade her to not go out tonight." Sirius
looked down the table, but Lily was no where to be found. James nodded and left the table, his
plate only half- eaten.
***
Lily went to the library to get a head start on the research paper on the Unforgivable curses
for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was the longest paper she'd ever been assigned, over 13
feet of parchment was expected. Then again, it was supposed to be a year-long research project.
Lily figured that if she used up all of her spare time, it'd be done by Christmas, or, at the
very latest, Easter. She was already a good five and three-quarters feet worth of research done,
and she wanted to make it an even six before Transfiguration this afternoon.

She was so engrossed in her work that she didn't notice James until he plopped down in front
of her.

"Hey Evans." James was happy that he had found her here, the only trouble was seeing
whether or not she was going out tonight.

"Potter," she nodded, not looking at him.

"Fancy seeing you here," he grinned. She still did not look at him.

"Yes, considering that I've got a giant paper due at the end of the year. And, if
I'm not mistaken, you do, too."

"Which is why I'm here!" He motioned to the surrounding books. "What are you
doing yours on?"

"The Unforgivable Curses," Lily said, shortly.

"Really? Interested in becoming a Death Eater?" James flirted. Lily glared at him.

"Hardly. I'm actually trying to find ways to prevent damage of these spells."

"Fascinating. Find anything on *Avada Kadavra*?" James asked. Lily shook her
head.

"I don't like researching on that one. It makes me depressed. I can't find anything
on someone surviving after that curse." She was subdued now. Just thinking about the
hopelessness of the curse was depressing.

"Yeah. I don't reckon anyone's survived it yet, huh?" James was trying to find
a way to get to the topic of her evening tonight, but couldn't find the right words to
introduce it delicately. To just jump upon a subject that nobody but a deer was supposed to know
about would be a tad suspicious.

"What are you doing yours on?" Lily said, trying to move onto a different subject. She
hated talking about Avada Kedavra , it always gave her a chill down her spine. It was a spell that
a group of wizards liked to use on Muggle-borns such as herself.

"Sirius and I are doing ours on Animaguses." James grinned. Lily jumped at the promise
of a lighter subject.

"Animagi," Lily corrected. She clicked her tongue against her cheek and gave James a
probing look. "But I wasn't sure that this was a group project."

James sat back. "It's not. But as we told the professor, it's all the same
information, isn't it? So we're looking up together and then writing separately."

"The hard part comes with your writing separately. I never see you two do anything
separately."

James chuckled and was pleased to see Lily in good spirits. "Lily, I am astonished that you
think so low of my dear Mr. Padfoot and I. We will most certainly write our reports
separately."

"I'm sure, Potter. I'm surprised Peter and Remus aren't joining in on the
bandwagon." True enough, Lily was anxious to see James's response to her mention of Remus.
They hadn't been fighting as of late, but, just the same...

"Peter's doing something, he won't tell us, and Remus is researching
werewolves," James grinned. If Lily only knew how easy these papers were going to be for them;
they'd already done enough research their first three years to fill up ten research papers.
Besides, he was going to do a lot more research tonight.

"Werewolves? Interesting," Lily said, putting more emphasis on Remus's than
Peter's. To her mild surprise, James did seem a little hackled that she had pointed out
Remus.

"I suppose your think that anything he does is interesting," James snorted.

"Why?" Lily asked. "Jealous?" James leaned in close to her and she felt her
breath catch in her throat.

"Always," he whispered, looking deep into her eyes. Lily swallowed and cleared her
throat, leaning back. She had thought, very briefly, that the rift in the Marauders might have been
caused by her affection for Remus, but she wasn't sure. But the question still remained on how
James had caught wind of her crush. She had been fancying him quite privately, save for her stag
friend in the forest.

"So....a-are you interested in becoming an Animagus?" Lily was desperate to change the
subject. She didn't like the look in his eyes, it made her very uncomfortable. She busied
herself with turning pages in her book.

"Yeah, Sirius too," he grinned, victoriously. Lily wanted to wipe the satisfied grin
off of his face; he hadn't caught her off-guard, he just surprised her, that's all. There
was most certainly nothing to be grinning about.

"Have any idea of what you would become?" Lily turned her eyes back to her books,
scanning the words for anything of use to her.

"I was thinking something along the lines of a cricket." Lily's head shot up from
her book.

"A cricket?" she asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, why not? I could make beautiful music to sing you to sleep." Lily felt heat
rising to her cheeks and was very mad at herself. James Potter had never made her blush when he was
flirting with her. She flipped the paper with a vengeance and tried to hide her blush.

"James, don't you have an essay to research?" He detected a definite snap to her
voice.

"Ok, ok. I can take a hint," James grinned.

"That's a first."

As James watched Lily scurry with her essay, he felt mighty upset with himself. They had talked
about everything except what they were supposed to talk about.

"Hey Lily."

"I thought you were taking a hint."

"Where do you go all the time?" James asked, mentally beating himself on the head. The
direct route was not what he was going for.

"What?"

"You disappear a lot. Where do you go?"

"None of your business." Lily gave him a glare. The Forbidden Forest was off-limits
and she could get detention for going in there as much as she did, so she wasn't about to tell
Potter.

She had a thought. If he had seen her going in there, he could hang it over her head.

"Why?"

"Because you shouldn't be going out by yourself," James said, giving her a sincere
look.

"James, I am a sixth year and can take care of myself."

"Yeah, but you're also a target." Please don't get mad with me. If you get mad
you'll be going to the Forest just when you don't need to be.

"I am not a target," Lily bristled.

"Yes, yes. I was wrong!" James acquiesced. "You are most perfectly capable of
taking care of yourself!"

Lily raised her eyebrow at him and leaned over the table. "Is there something that
you're trying to tell me?"

James cleared his throat. "Um....What are you doing tonight?"

Lily stared at him. Usually he just popped the question and it was done, there wasn't any of
this namby-pamby nonsense before. Something was up.

"Potter, what are you trying to tell me?"

"What are you doing tonight?" He grinned at her.

"If you must know, I have homework to do."

"Oh good. Doing it in the common room, I suppose?"

Lily was suddenly very suspicious. "Maybe, maybe not."

"Do it in the Common Room tonight," James grinned.

"Are you going to throw dung on me or something?"

James laughed nervously and shook his head. "I'm not going to be in the Common Room
tonight. You know, got a hot date with a Ravenclaw." If he could, he would have ripped off his
leg and beat himself with it. His mouth was running without a license.

"I see. And why is it so important to you that I stay indoors? Are there werewolves running
around tonight?"

James laughed very highly.

"Why would you say that?"

Lily looked out the window of the darkening sky. "Full moon."

"Oh, oh yeah." James ran his hand through his hair. Lily turned on him and rolled her
eyes.

"Why do you do that?" Lily asked him.

"Do what?"

"Run your hand through your hair?"

"Nervous habit," he shrugged. "So, you'll stay indoors tonight?"

Lily eyed him and then nodded. "I suppose."

Even so, James kept the werewolf away from the special spot all night.



5. Infatuation
--------------

*"But Mama used to warn me
Not to rush love with another
...Ay, Mama, you seem to forget
I never will let a man control my emotions."
-Infatuation, Christina Aguilera*

Chapter Five


Attention all 6th years
There will be a Ministry official conducting
an assembly concerning the new Auror training
program next Wednesday at 9am.
Attendance is optional.

This sign was up on the bulletin board in the Common Room and was surrounded by a huddle of
people almost all the time. All four of the Marauders planned on attending, as they were all keen
on becoming Aurors. James wanted to be one simply because it seemed like a good route, since he was
good at about everything an Auror was supposed to be good at, and because he came from a family of
Aurors. Sirius wanted to be an Auror to get back at his family. Peter only because James and Sirius
were so adamant about it.

Remus was the only one out of the group completely terrified about life after Hogwarts. Oh,
sure, he didn't shake in his boots like Peter was prone to doing, but in his own quiet way, his
friends could see that he was nervous about leaving the shelters of Dumbledore.

"Don't worry about it, mate," Sirius told him while they were going into the Great
Hall for the meeting. "The ministry is losing so many Aurors anyways that they'll hire
anybody who can shoot a spell."

Remus didn't look too pleased with that response as they took their seats in the middle of
the room.

Dumbledore was speaking with a rather old-looking woman, but upon closer inspection, she
wasn't that old. James recognized her as Millicent Bagnold, the newly appointed Minister of
Magic. She was causing quite a stir in the country with her rather un-orthodox methods of dealing
with dark wizards.

Next to her was Professor McGonagall and someone James recognized from graduating Hogwarts a few
years ago. He remembered him because he had an unfortunate last name, something that had to do with
his ass. James' heart did a dance when he saw Lily enter the room as well. He didn't know
that she wanted to be an Auror; he thought that she was going to be the Minister of Magic or
something. He was about to shove Remus out of his seat to make a space for her when she went and
sat with the only other girl in the room, James thought that she was from Ravenclaw. He
slouched.

"There aren't any Slytherins here," Remus remarked with a wry smile on his
face.

"No, there wouldn't be, would there," Sirius looked around. "Ten pounds says
that we'll be killing them in five years."

"Or having them kill us," James said grimly.

"Yeah," Sirius swallowed hard.

"Attention, please," Dumbledore's soft voice rang out and suddenly everyone was
quiet. James and Sirius were quite familiar with Dumbledore, having gone to visit him several times
over the course of their years. They respected him so much because of what he did for Remus, that
they tried to never stray out of line when it came to him.

"Attention. Thank you. The Minister of Magic has called this meeting to introduce a new
program that will be running here at Hogwarts. I must caution you that those who decide to go into
this endeavor must understand that they may not come out of it alive."

There was a slight movement in the seats around, but James kept still. He knew what came behind
an Auror, his grandfather was one of those who fought and died against Grindelwald, so none of this
was new to him.

"That being said, I have the honor of introducing Minister Bagnold." The woman nodded
and came up to the stand, looking out on the students before her as if she knew that half of them
would not live to see their 30th birthdays.

"The Ministry has just passed a new law to initiate an early-training Auror program in the
schools around the country. The Auror training program, which usually takes three years to
complete, has been shortened to two and a half. The first half will begin next January, in addition
to your other classes. The rest will take place during your 7th year and beyond."

"Three guesses why they're doing this?" Sirius leaned over and whispered into
James' ear. He nodded. It didn't surprise him that this was going on, what with Voldemort
killing off everyone left and right.

"Now I don't think that I have to warn you that this is a very dangerous job. I would
advise you to write home to your parents and tell them of your plans before you sign up. Also, this
does not exempt you from your NEWT exams nor is it an excuse if you do not pass them. An Auror is
expected to juggle many things at once and if you cannot pass your normal schoolwork with this then
the occupation is not the one for you."

She continued on about the specifics of the program and the grades that were expected of each
person, but James and Sirius were in quick conversation.

"You going to ask your mum, Padfoot?" James grinned.

"Yes, that'd be a lovely letter," Sirius snorted. "Dear Mum, I've decided
to completely break away from our family and become an Auror. I'll say hello to the rest of the
family as I curse them into oblivion. Love, from Sirius."

James snickered.

"You gonna ask your mum?" Sirius asked and James rolled his eyes.

"Do you know my mother or not? Of course I'm not going to tell her. Dad's going to
be right jealous when he finds out though. He's never forgiven Voldemort for waiting so long to
come about." James whispered back.

"James, you're dad is the coolest," Sirius smiled. "What about you
Moony?"

"I'll have to speak with Dumbledore in private," Remus said quietly.

"Come on, Moony. I'll bet that the Minister'll hire you," Sirius said. "I
mean, she's a girl, right? Girls are so much more understanding than boys are. She'll
probably think that you're cute or something and hire you on the spot." Remus looked at
the severe woman and then back to Sirius. "I don't think so, Padfoot."

The assembly ended and people milled around in a group to ask the Minister questions personally.
Remus, James, and Sirius hung back and waited until everyone was done.

"Minister?" Remus ran to catch her before she left the room with Dumbledore. The old
man turned to Remus with his eyes slightly sparkling and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, Mr. Lupin, Minister Bagnold and I were just talking about you before the
meeting."

"Is this him, Dumbledore?" Minister Bagnold eyed him. "And you say that he's
trustworthy?"

"I have named him a prefect."

"Minister!" James spoke up appearing beside Remus and grinning. His father was at the
top of the department of International Cooperation and his mother was also high in the department
of Magical Transportation and he'd had dinner with the minister on several occasions.

"Ah, Mr. Potter," she gave him an approving glance. "Your father said I might
have to look out for you at this meeting. He said under no uncertain terms was I to prohibit you
from joining."

"Good, then he'd say the same thing for my friend Mo-er...Remus Lupin here," he
said, nodding. "He has my highest approval."

"Me too," Sirius spoke up. The Minister raised an eyebrow at him.

"A Slytherin Auror? This is a new one by me," she cleared her throat.

"Slytherin?" he laughed. "No, I'm a Gryffindor."

"But...you're a Black, aren't you?" she looked him over again. Sirius
nodded.

"Oh, and do be kind and tell my father I'm signing up when you see him," he
grinned. Dumbledore chuckled and the Minister sighed.

"I suppose you want me to allow Mr. Lupin into the program as well." She nodded
towards Remus who was looking rather shy.

"Yes ma'am. He's only off three days of the month, if that," Sirius shrugged.
"And since you're already losing people left and right, what's to loose?"

"Much, Mr. Black. Much." She suddenly looked older than she had before. "But I
will consider your case, Mr. Lupin. As you have such...strong...favor." With that, the two of
them left the Great Hall, leaving the three Marauders by themselves.

Sirius let out a loud sigh and exclaimed, "Wow, I'm hungry. Let's get something to
eat."

"You're always hungry, Padfoot," James chided walking towards the window. Sure
enough, Lily was on her way to the Forbidden Forest. "You can go, I've got an appointment
to get to."

Remus made a sound of disapproval, but that was it.
***
*Ok, Lily, what do you have to say about that?* James thought, padding into the opening.
Lily was pouring over a piece of parchment, but James noticed that there were no books strewn about
as was usual.

"Hey," she said, looking up. "Just writing to Mum and telling her about the
meeting." She read over what she had written. "Of course, I'm leaving out the whole
fact that I am fighting a man who despises muggles and muggle-borns above all people so me joining
is like a big target saying 'here I am! Kill me now!'" she laughed, but James could
tell that it wasn't a convincing one.

"I just have this feeling that no matter where I go, I'm a target anyways, you
know?" She gave him a piercing gaze. "So I figure that if I join up, I'll at least be
able to protect myself a little better." She finished up her letter and signed it. Then she
turned back to James.

"You know who I was quite surprised to see there?" She rolled up the parchment.
"James Potter. He's so wrapped up in himself, I'm surprised that he would risk his
life to save someone else. And Sirius too, I thought his whole family was into the dark
arts."

*Oh, how little you know me. Lily darling.*

"It's kinda scary that there were only me and Emmeline for girls." Lily said.
"I don't really know her all that well, I mean, we spoke a few times in Herbology, but
that's it."

*That's her name! Emmeline Vance.* James was sure that Sirius had at least snogged her
at one point.

"But you know, she's got some sense. She turned down Sirius Black when he asked her to
his room one night, the only one in Ravenclaw to do so."

*Ok, so maybe not.*

"That Sirius Black. You know he's slept with every girl in my dorm except for me. I
think he's going for every girl in the year, except for Bellatrix."

James suddenly felt sick when he had a mental image. Lily was laughing.

"Then again, that entire family is in-bred, so I'm sure it wouldn't be weird to
them." She seemed to find this incredibly funny because her laughter echoed in the trees.
James stopped the reeling of his stomach to listen to it. It sounded like tinkling bells to him and
it made him want to have a goofy smile on his face.

"Still, that's one of the reasons why I won't date James Potter," she sighed.
James shot her a look.

*I most certainly am not pure-blood, nor am I in-bred.*

"There's this rumor going around that James and Sirius are trying to sleep with all the
girls in our year. I think the reason why James is so persistent is because I won't. You know
what I mean? The grass is greener on the other side?"

*Most certainly not. I want you because you're perfect. Sirius is just a
man-whore.*

"I don't think that I could handle it if I gave my heart to James and then find out
that he just wants me to be another notch on his bedpost." She looked down on the ground.
"I've never had a steady boyfriend. I want my first to be special and I don't want it
to be James Potter.

*But I do.* James certainly had a long way to go if he wanted to gain her affections. And
here he thought he was actually getting somewhere.



6. Cry
------

*"I was changed...
The moment I saw you cry.
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything all right."
-Cry, Mandy Moore*

Chapter Six

Lily felt the back of her neck burn somewhat. She adjusted her sweater and heard more laughing.
It was her old paranoia from primary school that when people laughed, the object of their laughing
was her. Not to mention it was the Slytherin direction where the laughing was coming from. She,
being the only full muggle-born between the two houses in the Herbology house right then, was the
only one who could possibly be the object of ridicule.

She continued to prune her plant with a purpose and ignored the laughing behind her. She pushed
a piece of hair out of her face and back into her braid and pushed her plant away from her.
Professor Sprout came over and looked at her progress.

"Very good, Miss Evans. You may go after you've cleaned up your mess," she said,
moving on. Lily pushed all of her leaves into her hands and threw them away, then gathered her
books and bag and left the classroom.

After depositing her things in her dormitory, she wanted to go to the library to get another 6
inches of information before Transfiguration that afternoon.

She turned a corner and saw a gaggle of Slytherin walking in from the greenhouses. Lily wanted
to avoid a confrontation with them, so she kept her head down and stayed close to the wall until
she could reach the library.

No such luck.

"Hey Mudblood." One of them said, turning around to meet her. In an instant, the rest
of the Slytherins had surrounded her in that way that only people with malicious intent had an
ability to do. But Lily was not in the mood to deal with them right now. She tried to walk through
their circle to no avail.

"We heard that you're going to be part of that new Auror program." Lily recognized
the leader of the circle was Bellatrix Black, Sirius's cousin. She was widely known to be
crazy, and Lily attributed it to the in-breeding. " You know my boyfriend is in the Dark
Lord's inner circle. I'll be sure to tell him to kill you first. With that God-awful hair,
you'll be a perfect target for him to hit."

"And I'll be sure to get him before he gets me," Lily spat back, knowing that she
sounded very lame. The Slytherins agreed by laughing wildly at her.

"How are you going to do it, Mudblood?" Another sneered at her. She didn't know
his name, because he was a 7th year. "Stun him to death? You people are too good to use the
Unforgivable Curses."

"That's not necessarily a thing to be boasting, now is it?" Lily glared.

"What's this?" Someone took the notebook from under Lily's arm and began
flipping through it.

"Well, well, well. The mudblood's got a penchant for the unforgivable curses. Maybe she
isn't going to stun us to death."

"It's for Defense Against the Dark Arts," Lily said, exasperated, trying to get
her notebook back.

Bellatrix's eyes lit up and she snatched the book away. She flipped through it, looking
through Lily's meticulously written notes that took up three quarters of the book all
ready.

"Oh really. Could it be for that research paper?" Lily didn't like the look in
here eye and whipped out her wand.

"Give that back," Lily demanded. Another Slytherin took her wand from her, and, being
about three feet taller than Lily was, she wasn't likely to get it back so soon. She turned
back to Bellatrix, wandless, but determined not to show fear in the face of these people.

"Give me back my notebook." She was running out of options, but she wasn't going
to let them know that. Bellatrix was now flipping backwards and forwards in the book the insane
glean not leaving her eyes.

"This looks like a lot. Wouldn't it be too bad if it just....spontaneously
exploded!"

Lily's eyes widened. She'd been working on that for months now. If they destroyed it,
she'd be so far behind her schedule, not to mention all of those notes that she took, all
gone.

"No!" She lunged for her book, but she was held by the robes just out of reach of her
precious notebook.

The Slytherins were laughing themselves to tears when Bellatrix dangled her papers menacingly
under her wand which was alight with flame. It was becoming black on the bottom and Lily's
heart was racing and tears were filling her eyes, but she would not let them fall.

"*Accio* notebook," a very pissed voice behind them said.

The book zoomed out of the Bellatrix's hand and into another's. Lily turned, and to her
relief, it was in the hands of another Gryffindor. But to her dismay, it was James Potter.

"Padfoot, Slytherins have sunk to a new level, don't you think?" James said, an
angry fire burning in his eyes. Sirius had that same anger in his eyes.

"Definitely."

"Cousin," Bellatrix cooed.

"I'm not related to you," Sirius growled. Bellatrix just laughed and pushed Lily
over into them. James caught her in his arms and didn't take his hate-filled eyes away from the
group. The one with her wand flung it at her and it hit her in the shoulder. James pushed her
behind him and pointed his wand along with Sirius.

"James, stop!" Lily cried.

"Lily, they need to be taught a lesson," James no longer cared if she watched him.
They had gone too far this time.

"Evans, just stay back," Sirius growled. Bellatrix let out a high pitched laugh.

"My cousin and Potter, the mudblood lovers!" they laughed. James twisted his hand
around his wand and stepped forwards.

"Let's see. Five points from each of you that said �mudblood,' ten points from each
of you for fighting in the hallway. And if there are any more words out of any of you, they'll
be more deducted."

They all looked to Remus who was standing into the doorway, arms folded and Prefect badge
shining on his chest. He looked to Lily who was feeling very dumb at the moment. Her prefect badge
just sat there on her chest, dull.

"Don't you agree, Lily?

"Yes," she said, quietly.

"You can't do that, Lupin," Bellatrix hissed.

"No," he said, punctuating every word with a step, "but I can tell Professor
McGonagall and, as she usually agrees with my point deductions, it shall be done, mark my
words."

"Shame you're all idiots so you can't salvage points," Sirius laughed very
haughtily and walked away with the rest of the Marauders. Once they were out of earshot, James
turned to Lily concerned.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine," she spat. "I didn't need your help."

"But-" Lily shoved him out of the way and continued walking. James stared after her,
confused and hurt.

"Wow, that's gratitude for ya," Sirius sniffed. James turned to Remus and folded
his arms in front of him.

"Care to explain that, Moony?" he demanded. "We just saved her from a group of
Slytherins and she's all mad at us."

Remus opened his mouth and shrugged. "I am far from being the expert in the way a
woman's mind works."
***
Lily wiped the page when a tear dropped on it. Some of her notes were singed, but they were all
still there. She ran her hands down the bottom of the pages and they slightly chipped off. This
caused a new wave of tears to fall down her cheeks and she pulled her knees up to her chin and just
cried.

She heard movement to the side of her and lifted her head to see who it was, fearing that it was
the Slytherins come back for another round at her. But it was that stag again.

In all of the years that James had known Lily, he had never seen her shed a tear. Even when
she'd stubbed her toe on the fireplace, or when she got less than an �Acceptable' on an
essay in Transfiguration during their 5th year, or when she got so mad at him that he could see
steam coming out of her ears, she'd never cried.

And now she was curled up into a tiny ball bawling her eyes out because of a bunch of stupid
Slytherins.

"You, again, huh?" Lily said, wiping her eyes. James could tell that she had been
crying hard before he showed up because her voice was shaky. "I-I can't believe I let them
get to me like that. It's not as if it was the f-first time or anything. I'm just so mad at
myself for not doing what I should have done. I could have just done a simple spell, got my book
back, and kept walking. I'm supposed to be an Auror-in-training. And I had to be saved by James
bloody Potter and his band of idiots. Like I'm some sort of damsel in distress."

*What's so bad about me saving you?* James thought, walking closer to her.

"It's not like I'm trying to be a feminist or anything. It's just....I always
feel like I have to prove something to everyone. I can't explain it. It's because I'm a
muggle-born. A mudblood," she laughed ironically. "The things that the Slytherins say
affect me. I feel like they're right sometimes. I feel like I shouldn't be at this school.
I don't belong." She gave a wry smile. "I don't belong in the muggle world
either."

James was right in front of her and could smell the salt of her old tears. *You could belong
with me.*

"The girls in the dorm, they're all right, but they've all been raised on magic. I
feel so lost sometimes and so dumb when they talk about things that go on at home," Lily said.
She felt another good cry welling within her chest when she remembered her own home. "M-My
sister's the s-same way, you know. She h-hates me because I'm a w-witch. I don't belong
anywhere!" She dissolved into tears again.

He felt his heart stop. To witness her in such a vulnerable state was killing to him. So he
reached his head forwards and nuzzled his head into her arms. Lily was startled at first but then
began stroking his head.

"I guess I'd better get back. Lunch is probably over by now and I'd hate to be late
for Professor McGonagall's lesson." She stood up and grabbed her books. James reached down
and grabbed her notebook with his mouth and gave it to her. Lily was surprised at this action and
began walking towards the castle, furiously wiping her cheeks so that her tears would have no trace
left on her face.

Back in the clearing, James transformed back into his human self and let out a sigh. She'd
mentioned once before how different things were for her because she was a muggle-born, but it never
hit him exactly how different things were. When she went home, they knew nothing about Hogwarts and
the things she learned, and when she came here, everything was already known to everybody, so
explaining it was redundant to them. And what was up with her sister hating her? That wasn't
right at all.

Seeing that she'd made it inside, he also began walking towards the castle. He'd be late
for McGonagall by the looks of the time, but he'd always end up getting on her good side after
a few minutes.
***
The common room was quiet for once, or at least it was for Lily, sitting next to the fire. She
had eaten early so that she could save a spot on one of the big squishy arm chairs that she so
loved to sit in. Now, she was completely immersed in the wonders of Charles Dickens, a childhood
friend that she had brought along with her to Hogwarts. The Slytherin taunting was still weighing
heavily in her mind and when she read Dickens it usually made her feel better.

She had always assumed that everyone else in the room realized that book + Lily + fireplace +
squishy couch = don't disturb. But, then again, when one assumes it makes an ass out of u and
me...

"Lily, Lily, lovely Lily. Lovely, lovely Lily. Lovely, Lily, lovely, Lily of the
lake-"

"What Potter?" Lily snapped, turning the page. To her utter amazement, �Potter'
plopped down on her arm rest and began reading over her shoulder.

"What's that you're reading?"

"Dickens, someone you wouldn't know anything about so don't ask-"

"Lily, I am shocked and appalled. I'll have you know that I do have some muggle in my
family. Not much, but some. I have read John Dickens," James grinned at her. Lily gave him a
dry look and continued with her book. James cleared his throat and Lily ignored him.

"You were supposed to laugh there."

"I'm not."

"Come on, Evans, be nice."

"Why? Because you saved me from the big, bad Slytherins?" Lily shot at him.

"No, because I'm just trying to cheer you up."

"That's rather kind of you Potter, but I think I have that taken care of."

"Apparently not," James muttered. Lily shot him a cold look.

"I don't need you to lead me around by the hand."

"So, how about that Charms essay, huh?" he laughed.

"James, please go away?" Lily said, her patience slowly leaving her.

"Lily, I'm trying to have a pleasant conversation with you," James said, leaning
back on the armrest.

"And I'm trying to read, or can't you see past your own ego. The world doesn't
revolve around you?" She snapped her book shut and began to walk away when James's words
stopped her.

"Why do you push people away when they're trying to be friends with you?" He was
pleased to see that Lily was stopped dead in her tracks. She appeared to recover because she
whirled around and lashed out at him.

"I don't want to be friends with you, Potter!"

"But you don't have any others, so why not try to be friends with those who want to be
friends with you?"

James later realized when Madam Pomfrey was placing the anti-swelling charm on his aching
forehead that friendless-Lily was not a subject to be breached upon lightly.



7. All I Want for Christmas
---------------------------

*"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
...I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is You."
-All I Want for Christmas, Mariah Carey*

Chapter Seven

With the coming of December, came the excited whispering of the break and the next Hogsmeade
visit. Though Lily always went on the visits, she especially enjoyed the Christmas visit because it
was when she got all of her Christmas shopping done (except for Petunia, who would never accept
anything magical). The rest of her family always loved her assortment of magical gifts, from the
wizard chess set to the giant bags of Honeyduke's sweets.

Which was why she was standing in front of a giant rack of chocolates of every magical size and
shape and was looking at each bucket before moving onto the next. She always tried to bring some
that she had never brought before, and old favorites.

"Try a slice of the thrice dipped honey chocolate pie," a voice behind her said. Lily
shook her head, not recognizing the heavy voice.

"None of my family likes honey."

"Well, they are just muggles," Bellatrix Black slid into her line of vision and leaned
up against the tiers of chocolates.

"Hullo Bellatrix," Lily said, attempting to be pleasant. She could still remember the
evil girl dangling her precious notebook over flames earler.

"Lovely day, isn't it Lily?" Bellatrix let the �l's roll off of her tongue and
Lily cringed a little.

"Yes, quite."

"Going home to the muggles next week?" Her eyes flashed and Lily felt a shiver run up
her back. She lifted her chin and gave her a determined glance.

"Yes. I am."

"Have fun, then," Bellatrix sauntered away to terrorize more people. Lily watched her
go and went back to her chocolate choosing.

She was worried that maybe Bellatrix was hinting to something, because she had that look in her
eyes. But, then again, Bellatrix was completely mad. And she could have just been �making
conversation' in that odd way that she did....

But even so, she quickly chose out her assorted sweets for her family and hurried out of the
shop. Taking a few minutes to look for Bellatrix Black, Lily sauntered into the Three Broomsticks
for a quick warm-up butterbeer before she continued with her Christmas shopping. She still needed
to find something besides sweets for a few close people, and for her muggle friend, and-

The sound of high-pitched laughter brought her away from her thoughts. Sirius and James
apparently were entertaining the entire bar with some sort of prank or story of a prank, Lily
didn't care enough to find out which it was. Not really clamoring for another unneeded personal
encounter, she slipped into the back of the bar where she could go over her Christmas list
privately.

"Did you think you could come in here without me noticing?"

So much for privacy.

"Go away, Potter," Lily sighed, not looking up at him. Uninvited, he peered over her
shoulder (thus, entering into her personal bubble, and making her quite uncomfortable), to see her
list. She quickly stuffed it into her bag and scooted away from him.

"That's not very nice, now is it?" James took this as an invitation to sit next to
her. Lily grimaced; she was trapped between Potter and the wall. "�Tis the season, after
all..."

"None of the four seasons would make me want to be nice to you, Potter," Lily growled,
agitated. James cleared his throat, blushing slightly, and pushed a crudely wrapped box towards
her.

Lily also felt heat rise to her face. "What...is this?"

"I think it's generally known as a Christmas present..."

She blinked again. He had bought her a Christmas present?

"O-oh..." she said, quietly, pulling it close to her.

"Are you going to open it?" he asked, looking at her hopefully. She nodded slowly and
began unwrapping the present gently.

All feelings of flattery fell away when she pulled out a notebook.

"Thanks..." Lily blinked. It was the thought that counts, but...how boring was a
notebook?

"See, only you can write in it," he demonstrated by trying a writing spell on the
paper. The ink just spattered off onto the table. "And you'll never reach the last page
because it always keeps another there for you. And it's tear proof and stain proof" He
pointed his wand at the pages. "And best of all, it's fireproof." He shot flames at
the book and they repelled off, the same as the ink.

Lily was taken aback.

"I figured," James continued shakily, handing her the book back, "that if you had
a fireproof notebook that the Slytherins couldn't ruin your notebooks again."

Lily could see that he was still concerned from the Slytherin episode a few weeks ago. She
cleared her throat and slipped the book into her bag.

"Well, if people would get over this whole �pure-blood' nonsense, I wouldn't need
to have this notebook, now would I?" She picked up her list again. "I suppose that
I'll have to add your name down."

"You don't have to," James said, concerned at why she took so badly to the
gift.

"Ah, James," The barmaid sauntered up to the two and placed a butterbeer in front of
James. "On the house, for your wonderful storytelling." She took a look at Lily and gave
James a wink. "James, who is this lovely date of yours?"

Before he could answer, Lily replied, "He most certainly not my date. He invited himself to
the table."

"Er...I see," she said. "Would you like anything?"

"Butterbeer, please," Lily stated, matter-of-factly. James pushed his over to her and
got up.

"You can have mine," he grumbled, looking much like a kicked puppy. Lily felt a pull
in her heart and moved the butterbeer towards a more accessible spot.

Over on the other side of the Three Broomsticks, James plopped down next to Sirius who was
currently turning a fork into a papaya and back again for some blonde 3rd year. James nudged Sirius
who kicked him for interrupting his flirting time.

"Fine, I'll go find Moony," James growled, standing up and walking out of the bar.
He pulled his coat closer around him and walked up the road to the Shrieking Shack. There he found
Remus, staring at the house wistfully, leaning on the fence. This was where he spent a good deal of
his Hogsmeade visits. James leaned up next to him.

"Did you need something, James?" Remus asked softly.

"She hated her gift," James blurted out. He knew that Remus was probably concerned
about the upcoming full moon, but he couldn't concentrate on anything but Lily at the
moment.

"What did you get her?" Remus asked.

"A notebook."

Remus shot him a dry look. "Quite romantic, James."

"It wasn't just any notebook," James glared at him. "It had a bunch of
protective spells. I figured that if the Slytherins got a hold of her notebook again that she'd
need one that could be as resilient as she is."

"I see. And she didn't like it?"

"No. Remus, I'm getting really confused," James whined. "You know her the
best, could you go talk to her?"

"I suppose," Remus stood up. "After all, it is Christmas. �Tis the
season."

"Remus, I could kiss you."

"Please don't."
***
Remus found Lily outside of a tobacco shop. She was checking something off of a piece of
parchment and stuffed it back into her bag, continuing on down the street. He hurried over to her
before she ran into another shop.

"Hey Lily!"

"Remus, hello," Lily seemed mildly surprised, but her smile didn't reach her
eyes.

"What are you up to?" Remus asked. "I didn't know you smoked."

Lily blushed a little and held up a box of Reynold's Tricolor Tobacco. The sides read
�Shape- shifting smoke!' and �Smoke comes out a different color every time!'

"It's for my father," she clarified. "What are you up to?"

"Shopping for Christmas," he nodded. "You?"

"The same."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Lily shook her head.

"Who do you shop for?" Remus asked.

"Oh, the usual. Mom, Dad, little brother."

Remus raised his eyebrow at that statement but continued on. "You have a little brother, I
didn't know that?"

"Yeah, little brother and older sister," Lily said the latter with a sarcastic
tone.

"You didn't mention her either, but from your tone I can tell that you don't like
her very much."

"Not at all," Lily said. "She's jealous because I'm a witch and she's
just a muggle."

"What about your little brother, is he muggle, too?"

Remus noted that the secretive smile that played on her face reached her eyes. "Well,
maybe, maybe not. He's turning 11 next April. So I'm keeping an eye out for the owl
post."

"I see," Remus continued walking.

"What about you? Brothers, sisters?" Lily asked.

"No, just me," he smiled. She shifted her bag on her shoulder as they passed
Zonko's.

"I need to go get something for my little brother." Lily looked at her list.
"What does a 10-year- old want?"

"You might ask James that."

"Why?" Lily's eyes narrowed at the mention of his name.

"He certainly acts 10-years-old," his eyes sparkled and Lily laughed.

"Oh, speaking of which, I have to get him something. So maybe I can get him and my brother
the same thing at the same time."

Remus leaped at his chance. "Er-Why are you getting him a present?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "He gave me one. A notebook that's indestructable."

"You don't seem too enthralled by it."

"Well, honestly, the reasons for him giving it are rather dumb, don't you think?"
Lily motioned to Zonko's and they stepped inside.

"Why?"

"I don't want things to be protected from Slytherins nor do I want to be
protected," she sighed and picked up a self-reloading sling shot. "I want them to leave
me alone."

"Understandable. But I think you should have given James credit for giving you the next
best thing."

"But it's not," Lily protested, and the trick pen she was holding squirted out
onto the table and then back into the pen again. "I knew that he sent you."

Remus only smiled back. "He told me that he wanted to give you something as resilient as
you were."

Lily put down the pen and looked like she was milling over that thought. She looked back at him
with a reluctant expression.

"Well, I guess."

"By the way, James told me that he was running out of his secret stash of cocoanut blizzard
bites."

With that, Remus left Lily smiling thoughtfully, holding a rubber chicken that was popping back
and forth from a pair of scissors.



8. I'm With You
---------------

*"Isn't anyone trying to find me
Won't somebody take me home?
It's a damn cold night."
-I'm With You, Avril Lavinge*

Chapter Eight

If James thought that Remus's talk with Lily smoothed things over, he was wrong. In fact,
Lily seemed more anxious about something. She spilled her newts toes all over the floor in potions
and in her haste to clean them up knocked over her caldron as well. She burned a hole through her
charms book when they were trying to undo the effects of oxidation and burns. Finally, in
transfiguration, she successfully transformed herself into a fish, when they were supposed to be
transforming into peacocks.

"Miss Evans, can I see you after class?" Professor McGonagall asked her. Lily nodded
and continued to catch her breath from flapping about on the floor without any kind of air.
McGonagall dismissed the rest of the class and they filed out, talking about the holidays and their
parent's Christmas parties and such. Lily lagged up to McGonagall's desk and waited for her
to arrive there as well.

"Yes, you too, Mr. Potter." McGonagall nodded at James, who was waiting in the doorway
for what seemed no apparent reason. He mumbled something and left the room. McGonagall returned to
her desk and sat down, taking off her glasses.

"Miss Evans, is there something the matter?"

"Excuse me, Professor?" Lily asked.

"You have not been up to par in any of your classes as of late." McGonagall gave her a
probing glance. "Something the matter?"

"Well, it's my sister. She's getting married next summer." Lily explained.
McGonagall gave a half-smile.

"I hardly think that's any excuse to be as absent-minded as you are now?"

"It's not just that." Lily slid into the first desk. "My sister, she...well
she hates me. And I don't mean just a little sibling rivalry. She truly loathes me. And
she's bringing her new fianc� home with her, and I'm sure he's just as horrible as she
is."

"Miss Evans, I am sure this is less of a crisis than you are making it out to be. I suggest
trying to mend things with your sister on the break and get some rest."

"Yes Professor." Lily knew it was hopeless to argue. She stood up and walked out of
the room, her shoulders sagging visibly. She loathed being around her sister, who made Lily's
coming home a completely terrible and horrible experience. The only thing that made her come home
was the rest of her family, who were the complete opposite.

She decided to take some reading time in the library; it had been a rather warm winter as of
late, but it had suddenly been chilly today. And if there was one thing Lily hated, it was the
cold.
***
James wasn't too worried about not hearing Lily's conversation with McGonagall. He was
sure after such a trying few days that she would be going to the Forbidden Forest and he would be
there to lend a fuzzy ear. He decided to go right out there after he checked the common room and
she was not there.

So here he was, waiting. It was colder than it had been this season, and he wondered if it was
going to snow tonight. There hadn't been any at all.

Pawing the ground, James kept moving to keep warm. His fur coat was good, but it still
didn't keep out all of the cold.
***
At dinner, Lily noticed that the Marauder end was uncharacteristically short one. And it
wasn't Remus Lupin, either. She didn't ask any for the risk of seeming as if she was
interested, but she hadn't seen him all afternoon.

And the food was excellent tonight. Roast beef with a thick gravy and mashed potatoes with a
hint of garlic. Also there was a lush green salad with ruby red tomatoes and bright orange carrots
along with dewy cucumbers and ripe onions. The Hogwarts rolls were always the best she'd ever
had, and tonight was no exception. Even after all that, she still had room for a big piece of
treacle tart (her favorite) and a steaming cup of bone-warming hot chocolate that topped off her
extremely pleasing meal.

With a sigh of contentment, she ascended the stairs, past the roaring fires that were burning in
the Common Room and into her warm, soft, always inviting bed with the heavy comforter.

Lily drifted off into a completely relaxed state of sleep.
***
*GRRRRRRRRROOOWWWLLLLL*

James stomach wouldn't stop making noises. He was transformed back into human form and
sitting on a log. He was listening intently for any sound of footsteps approaching, but there was
no sound.

Nothing.

Except the loud growling of James's stomach.

He transformed back from human form because the smells of the Great Hall were making the aching
emptiness in his stomach even greater. He was half-inclined to give up, but the thought of Lily
coming out here and he missing his chance to figure out what was wrong negated that.

Besides, he could always tickle the pear.

So here he sat, very cold and very hungry, staring up at the starlight and half-moonlight. He
wondered if dinner was over, or even what time it was. Most of all, he wondered if Lily was coming
tonight.

Getting up, he peeked out of the trees onto the castle. The lights in the Great Hall were out
and so were most of the lights around the school. Frowning, James looked from side to side to see
if there were any waltzing gamekeepers around.

There weren't any. So he dashed across the school grounds to the front door, careful to keep
out of sight. It wasn't as if he had never gotten detention for being in the Forbidden Forest,
but he didn't want one right before the Christmas holidays. It just wasn't something that
would put him in the mood.

So he crept up to the door and put his hand on the handle and pulled.

Nothing happened.

A cold wave of fear passed over James, or maybe it was the wind that had just chilled his bones.
He tugged harder on the door, but nothing happened again. Putting his foot on one of the doors, he
pulled as hard as he could, but ended up falling backwards and tumbling down the stairs to land
face-down in the dirt. He pulled himself up and chewed on his lip (spitting out the mud he got in
his mouth).

*This is not a big deal,* he thought to himself. *I can just magic the door open and
sneak in.*

However, when he went to retrieve his wand, he found himself grasping at only his skin. He
cringed when he remembered that he had left his wand upstairs on his bed because he didn't need
it to become an Animagus and if he had it lying around, Lily might find it by accident.

James looked towards the Quidditch pitch and had a moment of dumbness. He could just get his
broom from the lockers, fly up to his window, and bang on it until Sirius or Remus or Peter let him
in. He was so embarrassed that he hadn't thought of it before; he was the Quidditch
captain.

He jogged towards the pitch because there was no need to run, everything was solved. However, he
found the door locked to the Gryffindor locker rooms, and without a wand, it was going to stay
locked. Trying every other locker room, hoping for an irresponsible captain, James realized that
Madame Hooch had, indeed, picked responsible captains for her teams.

Except ones who were stuck outside after hours with no wand and no way inside.

James walked out of the pitch with a determined face on, and saw Hagrid's cabin. He, who was
so anxious to miss the gameskeeper before, raced towards the cabin with no lights on, hoping that
Hagrid was asleep or with a big-boned lady friend, anything except that he wasn't there.

But, James was not in luck.

Walking back to the stairs, James gave the doors one more tug and turned to the Gryffindor
tower. Well, if he couldn't fly up, he might try climbing up. He examined the stones and could
see that they might make pretty good hand holders.

So he began to shimmy his way up the tower. Problem was that every time he'd get three feet
away from the tower, all of the rocks suddenly became slick and he fell back down to the earth with
a big pain. After the sixth try, he was completely sure that he had not only bruised or broken his
tailbone, but was stuck outside for the night.

"Well, Prongs old buddy," James spoke aloud, "at least it's a fairly warm
night."

Then something fell out of the sky and landed on James's nose. He would have thought he was
dreaming, but more and more little white dots began to fall. Add to that the thick clouds he could
barely make out rolling in and the biting wind that was picking up and bringing even more white
dots to the ground, James kicked the wall in frustration.

And now, to add to his difficulties, had a broken toe.
***
Lily was less than thrilled the next morning to see a very thick blanket of snow covering the
landscape. She liked to look at it sure, but hated to be out in it.

She came down to the common room to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter playing Exploding Snap by the
fireplace. They were the only ones in there, as the rest of the room was outside playing in the
snow. James was still no where to be found. Lily swallowed her pride and asked them about it.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Sirius said, completely immersed in the game.
"He's been missing since yesterday afternoon."

Lily tried to keep her feelings of worry to a minimum. "I'm sure he just spent the
night in some girl's room."

Sirius laughed, "Unless it was with you, I doubt it." Lily was halfway into his next
move when the portrait door swung open with a bang. All three's jaws dropped.

James, completely covered in snow, staggered into the room with blue lips and chattering teeth.
He ignored all of them and rushed in front of the fireplace.

"Where the blazes have you been?" Sirius asked, though his laughter.

"O-O-O-Out-t-t-t-s-s-s-id-d-d-de." He was about to jump into the fire.

"All night?!" Remus was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Y-Y-ACHOO!" James sneezed into the fire and it hissed and crackled.

"Why on earth were you outside?" Lily asked. James couldn't think through his
frozen haze. He opened his mouth and no sound came out. Instead, his eyes rolled back in his head
and he fell into a dead faint.

"James, that ploy is not going to work," Lily said, through pursed lips, even though
she was a bit worried about him. "What do you take me-"

"Lily, I think he really is sick." Sirius reached over and put his hand to James's
forehead. "He's burning up. Come on, Moony, let's get him upstairs."

"Don't you think you'd better take him to Madame Pomfrey?" Lily asked. Sirius
picked up James's arms and Remus grabbed his legs.

"Nah, James is terrified that she'd molest him in his sleep and I'm half-inclined
to believe it myself."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Not everyone is enamored with him."

"Yeah," Remus said, "But you don't see the way her eyes light up every time
Gryffindor has a Quidditch match."



9. Done Hanging on Maybe
------------------------

*"Last night I heard the sweetest sounds
And if I hadn't been drinking
I might have remembered more of what she said."
-Done Hanging on Maybe, Evan and Jaron*

Chapter Nine

James was presumably still in his bed for the rest of the weekend, for Lily did not see him
once. She suspected that after spending a night out in the snow, one would have a good chance of
getting sick. Sirius, Remus, and Peter kept coming back and forth from the room laden with bowls of
soup and glasses of juice. Lily thought it incredibly overdramatized, he was just milking it by not
going to Madame Pomfrey for some Pepper-up potion.

She had more to worry about because in a few days she would be going home to face Petunia and
her �charming' husband. She spent Sunday putting a dent into her holiday homework ahead of time
because she was sure that she'd have no time to do it during the holidays, what with planning
the wedding and spending time with her family and such.

Monday, Lily noted, exasperated, that James was not among the three Marauders that sauntered in
a moment before McGonagall. She thought that having his friends gopher him soup and juice all
weekend was bad enough, but missing school was just unsatisfactory. McGonagall noticed as well and
put down her quill.

"Mr. Black, the school and this class has been unusually quiet as of late. Where has Mr.
Potter disappeared to? Taking an early break, is he?"

Sirius put on his best innocent face. "No, Professor. He's sick."

"So I shall have to check with Poppy, shall I?"

"No ma'am. James isn't in the hospital wing. He's sleeping in our
dorm."

"Don't you think it would be wise to remind him that there are potions for whatever
ailments plague him? Except, of course, laziness-"

"Sorry Professor. Must have slept in." Even Professor McGonagall looked surprised. The
voice, once charming and smooth, was raspy and low. James Potter, the once the sexy and debonair,
now was the sickly and pale. He shuffled past her to take his seat next to Peter who scooted away a
little, to avoid catching anything.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black has informed me that you have not seen Madame Pomfrey for your
illness."

"No ma'am," James shook his head. "I'm not that sick."

But he coughed so loud that people around him took the same idea from Sirius and scooted away
from James.

"I'm sure. Potter, you are dismissed from class, and I want you to go straight to
Madame Pomfrey."

"But-"

"Now Potter," McGonagall barked. James gathered his things and mumbled things to
himself, some of which Lily could discern as �child molester' and �broad, one year out of
healing school, has no real training.' He slumped out of the door and the students could hear
his hacking down the hallway.

After class, Sirius, Remus, and Peter shuffled down to the hospital wing presumably to go visit
James. Lily's curiosity at their loyalty got the better of her and she ran to catch them.

"Why are you going to visit him?" Lily asked, positioning herself in-between them.
"He's made you run up and down the school just because he's too stubborn to go to the
school nurse."

Sirius chuckled, "Well, Lily, first off, you haven't seen Poppy around James, now have
you?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Not that again. I'm sure that James is imagining it-" They
came to the door. James sounded very horse and very scared.

"P-Please! Madame Pomfrey, don't-"

"Come now, Jimsey! It's just a simple sleeping drought." The voice of the school
nurse, usually steely and calm, was light and flirting.

"B-But don't you have a potion for the flu?"

"Of course I do, but you don't have the flu, now do you?"

"What?!"

"You've got a severe case of the....the...Epstein-Barr virus," she cooed.

"Mono?!" James's voice was skeptical. "But I haven't even-"
Sputtering and choking followed and Madame Pomfrey made a very happy sound.

Lily didn't look completely convinced, but she had her doubts about her initial reaction.
Sirius poked his head in and looked around; the nurse had already gone. He and Remus tiptoed into
the room and snuck behind the curtains where James was staying. Lily just walked through the room
and flung open James's curtains. He let out a gasp of sheer terror.

"Relax Prongs, it's just Lily," Sirius said, waving his hand in front of
James's face. James swatted at it only to hit Remus in the face.

"I thought it was �Poppy,'" James croaked. He was very pale against the white
sheets and he had taken his glasses off, which gave him a very innocent, boyish look to him. Lily
almost felt sorry for him. Key word being almost.

"Why'd she give you a sleeping drought?" Lily asked, sitting down on the bed after
closing the curtains again. "She could just give you some Pepper-up-"

"She's always trying to keep me here overnight like that," James shivered.
"She's real creepy, too."

"She's always so excited around-" Peter started but then Sirius kicked him,
remembering that Lily was present.

"Around what?" Lily inquired.

"Quidditch games," Remus finished, smiling.

"At this rate, I'm never going to get out of here." He folded his arms and pouted.
"Epstein-Barr disease my ass." He turned to look at Sirius. "Padfoot, you know
better than I do-"

"James, that's a potted plant. I'm over here," Sirius grabbed James's face
and adjusted it.

"Why don't you just put on your glasses?" Lily interjected mildly.

"Because the stupid broad took them," James squinted and he was sure that he was
looking at Lily because her red hair was catching off of the sunlight.

"Why?"

"�Cause she knows that I'm completely blind without them," James said.
"Can't see a bloody thing. So I can't escape."

"Ok, Mr. Potter, let's see how that drought is doing! I've found the potion that
can begin to kill the virus, but I think you'll have to stay here all night-" She sang and
thrust open the curtains. Her eyes lighted up when she saw Sirius and then to the calendar when she
saw Remus. But Lily, who had never so much as gotten sick (if she had a sniffle, she used a muggle
remedy and it was gone), had never been to the hospital wing.

"And you are?" she said, very haughtily. James reached out and snatched her hand.

"My girlfriend," he said, defiantly. Remus sighed and took James's hand out of his
and into Lily's.

"Really?" Madame Pomfrey glared at her. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are
over."

"But what about them?" Lily asked. "And if I'm not mistaken-"

"-which she isn't a lot-" James spoke up.

"-visiting hours are from 7 in the morning until 7 at night," Lily recited, wondering
why she was sticking up for Potter like this, and why she was getting butterflies when he held her
hand in his.

"Where did you hear that?"

"It's on the door," Lily reminded her sweetly and pointed. She fought down a
shiver when James rubbed his thumb on the top of her hand. Madame Pomfrey gave her a final glare
and sputtered in indignation. She turned and shut the curtains, sweeping away, apparently
defeated.

"Now, let go of my hand, Potter," Lily said. James (albeit very reluctantly) let go of
her hand. She felt cold, but attributed it to the hospital wing.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"Only because you're sick," Lily stated, hoping that her cheeks weren't red.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I shall be going."

"Come visit me again." James begged. "I can't be here alone!"

"...I'll see what I can do."

Once she was gone, Sirius punched him in the shoulder. "OW!" James cried. "What
was that for?"

"Did you not see her?" Sirius hissed.

"...mate, I'm blind."

"She was blushing," Peter said, excitedly.

"Was she? Really?"

"That she was," Remus said, a bit less enthusiastically.
***
Lily couldn't concentrate through History of Magic. She could just see James, sitting there
in the hospital wing, being fretted over by Madame Pomfrey. She also couldn't help but remember
that little pot of vapor rub sitting in her trunk and how soothing it was.

But this was Potter. She didn't owe him anything. He was a prick.

Well, she did owe him a Christmas present. She twirled her quill in her hands while she thought.
If she did this for him, she wouldn't have to spend money on him. And then she wouldn't
have to worry about his not being in class with her and everything would be back to normal.

Wait, when did she start caring whether or not James was in class with her?!

But, it did cover the Christmas present dilemma. She could just pop in there, give it to him,
remind him �politely' not to use it all, and then return in the morning, he would be fresh and
ready to get back to class with her.

But she didn't care whether or not he was in class with her at all. Not at all.

So after dinner, Lily grabbed her little blue bottle and trotted down to the hospital wing. She
was mildly surprised to see a new sign that read:
Special holiday hours:
12pm to 1pm
Saturdays only
"Come off it, Madame Pomfrey!" James was still apparently horse. "You can't
do that and you know it!"

"I'm quarantining you until you are healthy enough to be exposed to the student
population. If I let you out and an outbreak of E. Boli erupts, we'll know who is to
blame-"

"I thought you said it was the Epstein-Barr virus." James sounded very upset.

"Have you been to healer school, Jimsie?"

"No ma'am."

"Then *shut up*."

Lily turned with a little laugh and walked towards the Great Hall where dinner was currently
being served. She sat near Sirius and Remus and could hear them talking about the new �visiting
hours.'

"Completely daft bird, if you ask me." Sirius' mouth was full of food.

"She's a fairly pleasant person otherwise-"

"Oh you're just in love with her Moony because-" Peter winced and rubbed his shin.
Sirius motioned to where Lily was sitting.

"Something on your mind, Lily?" Remus asked.

"Well, I was wondering whether or not you were going to sneak in to see James
tonight."

"Of course we are," Sirius said, as if she had asked whether or not papayas were
orange. "Why? You wanna sneak in, too?" His eyes gleamed mischievously. "Have an
ickle crushy-wushy on Prongsy-wongsy?"

"No," Lily's cheeks were bright red to match her hair. "I just have his
Christmas present to give him."

"I see," Sirius said. "Well, you can use James's Invisibility
Cloak."

Lily's jaw dropped. "So that's how you do it all! I've heard those things are
very expensive. How did James get a hold of one?"

Sirius shrugged, "It's supposed to be a family heirloom, but I figure that James is
just spoiled rotten."

"Figures," Lily nodded. "So you don't think he'll be mad if I borrow
it?"

"No, Lily, I don't think he'll be mad at all if you come and visit him,"
Sirius grinned.

"Are you positive that you're not coming?" Lily pleaded. Sirius had shown up with
the cloak after dinner, but he had told her that neither he nor Remus were going to go.

"Yeah, I've got some stuff to do, and I don't want to intrude on your private
time."

"There will be no private time." Lily rolled her eyes and put the cloak over her head.
She disappeared instantly. It was odd, because the room was now veiled in the pattern on the cloak,
and she walked right by people without them seeing her. Sirius walked her to the door and opened it
for her, so it wouldn't look like the portrait door was swinging open on it's own.

"Hello Sirius darling," The Pink Lady crooned. Once they were out of earshot, Lily
hissed at him, "Does everyone think that you're Heaven on Earth?"

Sirius sighed and turned towards the library. "Everyone except for you, Lily
darling."

Lily didn't reply, but continued onto the hospital wing. The door was locked, but Lily used
a hand unlocking charm and slipped inside unnoticed.

"Padfoot?" James croaked. "Padfoot, is that you?"

"No," Lily whispered and crept into the curtains, looking around for Madame
Pomfrey.

"Peter? Mate, you need to grow some balls. You sound like a girl."

"I am a girl," Lily growled.

"Crimity, Wormtail! I never knew-"

"Don't be so daft, Potter." Lily took the cloak off of her and threw it on the
bed. James, still blind, squinted in the growing dark.

"Only one person has such dulcet tones," James smiled. "What are you doing here
Lily? Come to perform a daring rescue? Sweep me off my feet-"

"Where's Madame Pomfrey?" Lily was still whispering and she sat down quietly.
James laughed.

"She's out at the moment. You're ok." James was still looking at her (or more
accurately to three feet to the left of her) with astonishment. "You took my invisibility
cloak from my room-"

"Borrowed from Sirius."

"-snuck down here-"

"The halls weren't that crowded."

"-just to see me?" James finished.

"No." Lily pulled out her tub of vapor rub. "I'm here to give you your
Christmas present."

James eyes lit up because he, of course, couldn't see what she had taken out. For all he
knew it could have been condoms.

"Merry Christmas indeed." A wide smile spread across his face, but then he let out a
hacking cough that reverberated in his chest painfully.

"That's what you get for thinking so perverted," Lily chided. She was about to say
more, but Madame Pomfrey came back in whistling. James motioned for Lily to cover up with the cloak
and she barely made it before the happy nurse came back in with a big flask of sleeping potion.

"Now, Jimsie. You need your sleep or else you'll never get better."

"Now, how do I know that doesn't have some kind of reactant that will put me to sleep,
but just make me sicker so that you can keep me here."

Madame Pomfrey made a little twittering laugh and sat down on the bed. James scooted back and
she reached a hand out to flatten his hair.

"James, James. You've got such an imagination on you." She tapped his nose and
then grabbed it, lifting the top of his head up and draining the potion inside his mouth. James was
completely out of energy so he didn't fight as much as he had been doing, also, he didn't
want to seem weak when Lily was standing right there. He knew she was there because he could feel
the warmth coming off of her leg by his hand on the edge of the bed.

"Now, sleep tight, Jimsies!" She fluttered out of the room and shut off the lights.
Lily waited a few minutes and then took off his cloak. She had a satisfied sort of grin on her
face, or so James thought.

"Ok, now you've completely convinced me that she's mad. So I'm going to go
ahead and give you your birthday present."

James sat back and let out a loud yawn.

"Stuff works fast," he stretched. "So, what's this present?"

"It's called vapor rub. You spread it on your chest-"

"Really!!!!" James sat up so fast it made his head spin. Lily smacked him hard.

"My *mum* used to spread it on my chest-"

"Kinky-"

"When I was a *little girl*." James now had no question on where to look now
because Lily's face was shining so red that it was a beacon in the night.

"Oh," James winked. "What for?"

"When I was sick like you are now. You know, congested. Hoarse."

"I see." He thought for a moment. "But I thought that your family were
muggles."

"They are, this is a muggle remedy."

"Whoa, whoa," he put his hands up. "Time out. I've heard stories about muggle
remedies. Stitches and things like that." He shivered.

"James, would you rather be stuck here with Poppy?"

"Er....all right." He sat back and let out a deep breath. "What do I need to
do?"

"Take off your shirt," Lily said before thinking. Why couldn't she just tell him
to put it on himself?

"Oooh, Lily. You know I said anytime, but I don't want to get you sick," James
laughed while unbuttoning his pajamas. Lily chose to ignore that comment, except her cheeks kept
flaming red and wouldn't stop. She busied herself with unscrewing the top and took a moment to
take a whiff of the stuff for herself. It reminded her of home and her mother.

"Are you sure about this?" Lily's blush returned full force. James was topless and
he had some nice muscles. Lily dipped her fingers in the stuff and rubbed it on her hands. James
was eyeing her oddly and she reached her hand out and placed her hand on his chest. He flinched and
grabbed her hand.

"What?" Lily asked softly.

"Your hands are cold," he smiled, giving her hands a light squeeze. Lily continued to
rub in the salve, completely aware that James' eyes were glue on her. Her hands ran along his
deep neck lines and his prominent Adam's Apple and onto the grooves of his chest.

"Lily?"

"Hm?"

"It's not working," James grinned. Lily sighed and put a little bit more on his
chest.

"It's not supposed to work immediately. Muggle medicine doesn't work that way. But
your nose should be clearing up soon."

"Hm..." James yawned. All of this massaging felt nice and he was starting to loose the
fight against the sleeping potion. He opened his eyes again to see Lily right above him. She was so
close that he could see her face, but it was a bit fuzzy.

"James?"

"Hm?" Everything was starting to be a bit dreamy now.

"Are you nearsighted or farsighted?"

"Near," he murmured.

"How badly?"

"Pretty badly." He blinked slowly and then she was very close to him. He could count
the freckles on her face. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-

"What are you doing?" Lily asked.

"Counting the freckles on your face." But it sounded more like �coning the fregles yur
mm' to Lily and she left it at that. Placing the now closed bottle on the table, then thinking
better of it and placing it under his pillow, Lily too his discarded shirt and wrapped it around
his neck to keep in the aromas.

And there she left him, snuggling his pillow and dreaming about freckles.



10. Perfect
-----------

*"I'm never going to be good enough for you
Can't say that I'm all right
Because we've lose it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect."
-Perfect, Simple Plan*
Chapter Ten

To Madame Pomfrey's chagrin and James's pure delight, he was feeling very well enough
(or at least his voice had returned enough) for him to be let out of the hospital wing. He
wasn't completely well yet, but he kept the stuff that Lily gave him close at hand. He
didn't have long to �enjoy' his time back in classes however, the term ended two days
later.

So here he was, the little blue tub stuck under his nose, his mother's hand-woven quilt
wrapped around him, taking up one complete side of the compartment while Sirius and Peter took the
other side playing chess. James could hear by the sounds of utter defeat that Sirius was taking a
pounding time and time again. Peter may have been a complete bungler at everything else, but he was
a genius when it came to chess. Perhaps it was because he wasn't afraid to sacrifice his entire
army so that the king would be all right, whereas Sirius and James wanted to at least save the back
row. Kinda hard to win against those odds.

His eyes were closed when the compartment door slipped open. He heart Remus's hello, he was
back from his prefect duties.

"Sleeping is he?" Remus asked.

"As always," Sirius snorted. "I don't know what Evans did to that little
bottle, but he hasn't let it go."

"Probably it's a reminder of her or something," Peter suggested.

"Quite odd if you ask me," Sirius muttered, rubbing his chin in thoughtfulness.

"What is?" Remus asked and James heard the cushions moving as if he was sitting
down.

"I was just thinking how adamant Evans was to go visit him, even to the point of sneaking
in there."

"Yes, I noticed that too," Remus winced as a particularly brutal knight slaughtered
Sirius's pawn.

"Perhaps she doesn't think him so much a git as she lets on," Sirius grinned and
directed the next pawn to take the knight. "She was blushing something awful when he took her
hand the other day."

"Did he tell either of you what she did?" Peter was nonchalant when he directed a pawn
Sirius hadn't noticed to take Sirius's pawn, a rook, and his queen. "Check."

"Damn you Wormtail," Sirius cursed. He stared at the board for a few moments, looking
up at Peter's calculating face. He moved to touch his other rook so as to take the offending
pawn, and Peter made a sound. Retracting his hand like the rook was on fire, he reached towards a
pawn that was also close. Peter made another sound and gave a little shake of his head.

"Uh-uh?" he asked. Peter shook his head. Sirius brought his hand back to his mouth and
tapped his nails on his teeth. He surveyed the board and made a sound like something had dawned on
him. With a devious little cackle, he moved his king the only way it could go, left.

"Checkmate," Peter moved the pawn into the space where the king had previously been.
Remus gave a chuckle.

"Your too trusting, Padfoot."

"You....little..." Sirius was shaking in anger. He lunged over the chessboard and
knocked Peter over. The two wrestled for a moment, Sirius going for Peter's neck and Peter
squealing like a girl.

"Come on guys!" James whined. "That's really loud!"

"Baby!" Sirius snorted, sitting on Peter. He gave a whimper of pain as Sirius was a
lot bigger than he was.

"Maybe we should get Lily to come back. You seemed to make a miraculous recovery the last
time," Remus chuckled.

"Yes, dear Prongs. What happened?" Sirius squirmed on top of Peter; he had a bony butt
and it was digging into Peter's back.

"She just gave me my Christmas present," he said very ambiguously. Remus and Sirius
looked at each other and Peter gave another whimper.

"And it was?" Sirius pressed.

"Very nice. But a little messy. She made me take off my shirt," James smiled. Remus
might not have, but Sirius would definitely take it the wrong way. Sure enough Sirius was laughing
and hitting him on the shoulder.

"Good going, Prongs!" Sirius was grinning from ear to ear. Peter was still on the
ground and whined.

"I'm sure that you didn't..." Remus was more the type to take things with a
grain of salt. "I mean, Lily's....James....you didn't-"

"Re-lax, Moonface," James said. "Nothing happened. She brought this stuff in and
rubbed it all over my chest. It's a muggle remedy."

"So, she rubbed it on you?" Sirius asked him incredulously.

"Yup," James sat up and stretched. "I was quite surprised myself, but I'm not
one to kick a gift horse in the mouth."

"Look," Remus corrected.

"What?" Sirius and James looked around, trying to figure out what Remus was talking
about.

"No, the expression is �look a gift horse in the mouth.'"

"Well it makes more sense to say, �kick,' you know? I mean, what's so bad about
looking at something," James shrugged. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Horses aside, why was she being so nice to you?" Sirius asked. "I think she
might be warming up to you, Prongs? What's she been saying in the forest?"

"Nothing much," James said. "She hasn't been out there lately. I don't
know why."

"I suppose she hasn't complained about it all that much," Remus said quietly.
"I never hear the end of it during rounds."

"What?" James asked.

"She loathes the cold," Remus told him. "Absolutely hates it. That's why she
didn't go out the other night."

"Well, I'll be..." James thought about this for a moment. "And you didn't
think to tell me that?"

Remus shrugged. "Thought you knew."

Later on, they arrived at the station and James was immediately showered in kisses by his
mother. She was all a twitter because James had written a pathetic letter to her saying that he was
sick and that he really missed her (it always meant that he was off the hook for chores during his
stay at home). The only thing he had to was endure the public show of affection and the taunting by
Sirius.

Speaking of the old dog, he gave a glare to his own lot who were greeting his little brother
Regulus with as much love and affection as the Blacks were famous for, a pat on the back and a curt
nod. They looked to Sirius without much affection and made a motion for him to follow them. Sirius
waved goodbye to James and grabbed his things, walking towards them with a grim face.

James turned to Remus, but he was already with his own family, his kind-looking mother and
stern-looking father, and James knew that they were exactly how they looked. He, himself, was
terrified of the older Mr. Lupin.

While James's own father went to retrieve his son's trunk, James looked out for Lily and
her family. He'd only seen them in passing before, but now he took a good look at them.

Mr. Evans was a smart-looking man, if not a little rough around the edges. He gave Lily a quick
kiss on the forehead and she said something about the state of his hand, for she was looking at it
intently. From this far away, James couldn't see exactly what was wrong with them.

Mrs. Evans was a blonde woman with Lily's almond-shaped green eyes. She held herself much
like Lily did and gave her daughter a hug, very lovingly. Lily spoke to her about something and
they both smiled in laughter.

Next was a little blonde boy who was about two heads shorter than Lily. He lunched at her and
she gave him a big hug. It warmed James's heart to see her with him for some reason. Lily stood
up and James could see her entire continence change. She was much stiffer when she addressed the
last two people.

The first was a woman a few years older than Lily. She was very thin and bony, not beautiful
like Lily was, but there was some resemblance. Especially in the way they looked at each other, a
perfect combination of restraint and intense dislike. Lily obviously didn't know the other
person because the bony woman had to introduce them. The man nodded at her and had a purple face.
Lily gave him a small smile-

"Come along, son," Mr. Potter called. He followed his son's line of sight and
clapped him on the back. "Still onto that one, are you? Made any progress?"

"Actually, Dad, I have." James took one last look at Lily and left with his
parents.
***
That night, James was sitting in the living room, completely full of his mother's cooking
and very satisfied with life. The Christmas tree was rife with gifts, many of which bore his name.
His room was untouched and welcoming, as was his bed. The beautiful vixen next door was playing
with her three-year-old and he had a nice view when she bent over to pick him up. He was going to
go check up on his friends down at the coffee shop down the road (Godric's Hollow was filled
with muggles, James was sure that they were the only magical people in the entire town). They were
always up for a good afternoon, even if they were muggles. They got into some scrapes just the same
as he and Sirius.

He reached over to the table and pulled out his wand. He had turned of age at the beginning of
October so he was able to go out and do things with his wand now. It made for a much lazier James
as he Summoned his blanket to himself and snuggled with it for a moment before falling into a light
sleep.

He jolted out of his sleep by a flash of light and thunder. He looked at the clock and rubbed
his eyes, it was past midnight. But it wasn't the thunder that had awoken him, it was the
banging on the door in the front door. James sat up and walked to the door, yawning loudly.

"Jim, what's going on?" His father called from the front door.

"Dunno Dad," James said, walking to the door and opening it. He blinked and turned on
the light out front. Standing there, drenched in rain and shaking was Sirius. He was pale with
patches of red dotting his cheeks. He had his trunk overflowing with his things and he looked at
James, his eyes full of disbelief and hurt.

"James, can I stay here for a while?" Sirius asked.

"Sure, mate. What happened?" James said, moving away and letting Sirius walk in. He
obviously said the wrong thing because it set Sirius off again. He threw his trunk down and began
shaking violently again, but James realized that he was never cold.

"Those....those....those.....stupid...." He couldn't spit the words out as he
paced the carpet.

"Sirius, son, why don't you sit down." Mr. Potter was downstairs now, and looking
concerned at the angry teen in front of him.

"They wanted me to drop out of school to be a Death Eater!" Sirius exclaimed. James
and his father were speechless. For a while the only sound was the pattering rain on the
ceiling.

"What?" James said.

"They told me that �The Dark Lord has it right' and that I should �be taught alongside
the right kind of people.' I told them that they can stuff it, in laymen's terms." He
cast a cautious glance at Mr. Potter. "I'm never going back there as long as I
live."

"Slimy gits," Mr. Potter said. "But you are welcome here as long as you like, you
know that."

"I hate them. I hate them all," he said, sitting down and shaking still. "Them
and they're stupid pure-blood nonsense."

"Will? James?" Mrs. Potter came out in her dressing gown and rubbed her eyes.
"Sirius, what are you doing here? Merlin, you're shivering. Let me go make some tea,
James, go fetch him a blanket."

"Yes Mum." James went to the cabinet and grabbed one of his grandmother's
hand-sewn quilts and handed it to Sirius. He held it in his lap, but didn't unfold it.

"I'm not cold. I just keep hearing the things that they're saying. My father called
me a disgrace and said that maybe my brother would make the name of Black great again. My mother
blasted off my name on the family tree and told me that she was going to tell people that I had
died, and I should just jump off a cliff because I was good for nothing else."

"Padfoot..." James was speechless. He knew of everything that Sirius had to deal with
in his home, having been there once when he was 13 and been thrown out because he was not �pure-
blood.'

"And what's worse, there was Regulus, smarmy bastard, telling them that he would be
better and that he would do everything that I failed, and he would become a Death Eater in my
stead. Stupid git, he doesn't realize what the Dark Lord means. He's going to start killing
people next. And even if he wasn't, Prongs, I wouldn't even think about any of that. All
through the argument, I kept seeing Lily and I wanted to shout at them that muggle-borns are just
as good as the rest of us."

"You did the right thing, Padfoot," James said as his parents returned with food and a
steaming cup of tea.

"James, go make up the spare bedroom, will you? And take Sirius's things" Mrs.
Potter said to her husband. "I'd like to talk with Sirius."

"Sure," James said, getting up and walking upstairs. He was still reeling from that
conversation with Sirius. He couldn't understand how family could hate each other so much. He
switched on the light in the bedroom and set to making the bed (he was so used to doing things at
home without magic that he forgot he could use it). How could his family say those things to him?
He tucked the mattress cover over the ends of the mattress and shook his head. Things like that
never made sense to James who was raised with the fact that no matter what, people should respect
each other (greaseballs who were too into the dark arts didn't apply, but James never
categorized him as anything but �it').

"Hey Prongs." Sirius walked into the room and sat down on the bed. He looked more
tired than James had ever seen him.

"Sorry �bout your folks, mate," James smiled half-heartedly.

"Yeah. Bunch of blighters."

"What'd my mum and dad say?"

"Oh, you know, I should still try to make amends with my family, and that they're a
bunch of idiots, that was your father-"

"Good ol' Dad," James said with a smile. If he was taught by his mother to love
and respect everyone, he was taught by his father to loathe the dark arts.

"But that I could live here if I wanted," Sirius said, looking guilty. "I
just....I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

"Good, I've always wanted a brother," James grinned. He honestly couldn't
think of anything better than Sirius living with him. This meant that they could cause trouble from
waking until sleeping.

"They aren't all that they're cracked up to be, believe me," Sirius
laughed.

"Aw, come\ on. I'm the older one, right? So I get to boss you around?"

"Not likely Prongs."
***
James noticed that the next morning his mother had gone Christmas shopping and when she
returned, the tree was twice as full as it had been before, and all of the new presents bore
Sirius's name.




11. Tuesday Morning
-------------------

*"Tuesday Morning in the dark
I was finding out who you were
...If I had known then, that these things happen
Would they have happened with you?"
-Tuesday Morning, Michelle Branch*

Chapter Eleven

Lily peered into the kitchen. There were trays and trays of cooling cookies all over the
kitchen. She looked down at her partner-in-crime, who's blonde head was covered with a black
hat to make him stand out less. They winked at each other and snuck into the kitchen, each heading
towards a different end where their favorite variety was currently cooling. They both took a
furtive glance around and reached out their hands.

"Hold it right there," A cold voice came from the doorframe. Lily and her accomplice
winced at the same time and straightened up, putting their most innocent faces forwards.

"Hello Mum!" Lily cheered.

"I know what you two are doing." Mrs. Evans held a spatula in her hand and had the
glare that Lily herself saved only for James.

"Mum, it's just one cookie!" Lily's second cried. "You have about fifty
thousand more!"

"That's not the point, Oliver," Mrs. Evans began scooping a cooled pan into a
basket. "These are for the bazaar tomorrow."

"Mummy, do I get to help this year?" Oliver cried, bouncing up and down.

"You get to be my special helper," Mrs. Evans said, ambiguously. Lily snorted. That
meant that Oliver was going to be messenger boy.

"What did you sign me up for this year, Mum?" Lily asked, pulling Oliver into her lap,
lovingly.

"Something easy, don't worry. I know this is your vacation." Mrs. Evans gave her
daughter a smiling glance. "You will be at the face painting booth."

"Hey Lily," Oliver said, leaning back against her . "When can you show me
magic?"

"After next May," Lily rolled her eyes, but still kept a smile on her face.
"I've told you fifty times."

"Oh. Well, when am I going to get my letter?" Oliver asked, excitement in his
voice.

"You may or may not get your letter," Lily reminded him. "But you'll get it
in two July's if you do."

"Will you teach me?"

"Teach you what?"

"If I have magic, will you teach me?"

"That's what the professors are for," Lily reminded him. Oliver gave her a worried
look.

"But I don't know any spells."

"Neither does anyone else. There are a lot of people just like you who come from all muggle
families-"

"What is going on in here!?" Petunia hissed, sticking her bony head in the kitchen.
"I have Vernon over, so stop talking about your abnormal-"

"Petunia!" Mrs. Evans's eyes grew large. "That is completely uncalled
for."

She gave a quick and unbelievable apology. "Keep your speech to yourself." Petunia
sneered and left the kitchen. Oliver turned back to Lily and frowned.

"I'm glad she's getting married. I was afraid she was going to be an old maid and I
would be stuck with her until I left."
***
Lily's mother was part of a Ladies' Club that hosted a non-profit bazaar in the
neighborhood to raise money to buy presents for the less fortunate children in the area for
Christmas. Lily had always helped out, and it was something she looked forward to every
December.

So she found herself at seven in the morning setting up her face paints and brushes and cups of
water. She put her jacket around her tighter and frowned. She wished she could have created a
little fire to keep her warm, or at least charmed her coat to keep her warm. The sky was completely
clear, but the sun was not warming her up at all.

After painting flowers and such on some children's faces for a few hours, Lily peered out of
her booth to see that the bazaar was in full swing. People were milling all around and she could
see lots of bags in people's hands. Going back to sit down, she pulled out An Introduction to
Aurors (a different book cover adorned the front, of course), and began reading it. One of the
requirements was to completely cover the entire book during the Christmas holidays.

She heard someone walk inside and sit down and went for her brush, without looking up.
"What do you want paint....ed..." she asked, trailing off.

"I want �James Potter is Sexy', or a JP and an LE with a little heart," came the
cocky reply. James Potter was leaning on her little table with his cheek bared to her and an
expectant look on his face, Sirius sniggering to the right of him.

"What...how....you....?" She couldn't voice the right question. He turned his head
so that he was facing her properly and answered her questions one by one.

"Well, I wanted to see you, first of all. Second, I flew here. Don't worry, I used my
invisibility cloak with Padfoot here. And I don't know what you were going to ask with the
�you,'" he grinned. "But I'm making a donation, so you have to paint my
cheek." To make a point, he threw a galleon into the jar. Lily glared at him and fished it
out, giving it back to him.

"This is a muggle event," she reminded him. James nodded in understanding and pulled
out a few notes. He threw them all into the jar in front of her and grinned, resuming his position
of baring his cheek to her.

"What do you think, Padfoot?"

"I rather like, �James Potter is Sexy,'" he said, looking around. James nodded and
looked to Lily who made a sound and dipped her brush in the paint. She paused for a moment and then
a grin spread on her face. She took James's face in her hand and began painting, slowly and
meticulously. James heart beat faster when her face came close and he could feel her breath on his
face.

He heard snickering from Sirius and saw the delight in Lily's eyes and was suddenly worried
for what was on his cheek. Lily sat back and dipped her paintbrush into the murky water. James
looked to Sirius who was in all-out guffaws of laughter.

"What?!" James demanded. "Give me that mirror, Lily!"

"Nope," Lily snatched it away from his reach and laughed when he grabbed for it.

"Lily Shea! What on Earth did you write on that poor boy's face!" Lily frowned and
peered out of her booth where her mother was standing. She beckoned James over to her and took his
face in her hands.

"I suppose you are JP."

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm sure you're not a �smarmy git,'" she patted him on the shoulder. Lily
muttered something like �that's debatable'. Mrs. Evans gave Lily a glare and turned back to
James. "You don't have to donate anything, young man."

"Please," Sirius stood up, "Lily was only telling the truth. James here is
a-" He chuckled "smarmy git."

"James?" Mrs. Evans gave Lily a sideways glance and then her eyes lit up. "So
you're James Potter! Lily's always talking about you." Lily's face flushed bright
red and her mouth dropped, gaping wordlessly.

"Nothing good, I imagine," he grinned, pleased as pie that Lily had been telling her
mother about him.

"No, but I can see now that Lily was clearly overreacting," Mrs. Evans beamed.
"You're such a charming young man."

"Why thank you, Mrs. Evans." Sirius rolled his eyes. James had begun to use the
�I'm-so- charming-that-you-have-to-love-me' voice.

"But I don't think I can take you seriously until you wipe that paint off of your
face." She went to go get a washcloth, but James, after looking around, whipped out his wand
and pointed at his cheek.

"Scourgify," he said, simply and then put his wand away. Mrs. Evans was amazed.

"But-But you won't get in trouble?" she asked.

"Oh no, ma'am," James said. "I'm already 17."

"Really, now?" she said. "Fascinating."

"Yes, Mum, shouldn't you be going?" Lily urged. Mrs. Evans grinned at her.

"Actually, I just came to relieve you. Cynthia Rimes' daughter is here. So you can take
your charming friends around and show them the bazaar."

"But-"

"But you'll do it." Mrs. Evans left no room for argument.

"I can certainly tell where Lily gets her charming temper from," James interjected,
lightly.

"No, actually, she gets it from her father," Mrs. Evans beamed, walking away.
***
"So honestly, what are you doing here, Potter?" Lily asked as they walked around the
bazaar. Sirius kept wanting to stop and examine the muggle things so they were by themselves.

"Well, Sirius moved in with me and we had all ready terrorized my family so we figured
we'd come see what you were up to."

"He moved in with you?" Lily asked. "Why?"

"He ran away." James expression was stony. "His parents and their pure-blood
nonsense again."

"Oh," Lily nodded as Sirius observed an alarm clock. "Poor guy."

"He's happier anyways," James said. "But anyways, we wanted to see what you
were up to."

"I'm...flattered..." Lily said, giving him a strained smile. James seemed a bit
put out, but cleared his throat.

"So what exactly is this?" He motioned to the grand selling and buying going on around
them.

"My mum is part of a Ladies' club that does this annual bazaar to raise money for needy
children around the town. I've always helped out," Lily said.

"Do you always paint mean things on people's cheeks?" He gave her a mock glare.
Lily blushed and shook her head.

"Only special pricks, Potter."

"I'm touched."
***
Lily found it incredibly easy to talk with James Potter when he wasn't surrounded by other
people and being a complete prick. Sirius had disappeared sometime during their conversation and so
it was just the two of them walking around Lily's home town as the day progressed into
afternoon and then evening.

One of the things that surprised Lily the most was the fact that James was so knowledgeable of
muggles. She finally asked him about it and he explained that he lived in a muggle town called
Godric's Hollow.

"But...I thought you were pure-blood," Lily said. James gave a little laugh and shook
his head.

"I've got some muggle born and half-blood and all of that," James said. "But
I do know that I can trace my lineage all the way to Godric Gryffindor."

"Really?" Lily smiled at him. "That's amazing."

"Yeah, I had no question on where I was going to be sorted."

"I wasn't sure that I was going to be sorted at all," Lily grinned sheepishly.
"I thought that they'd check their list again and then look at me and say, �Sorry, we made
a mistake. We meant another Lily Evans' and send me home."

This seemed to amuse James because he was laughing very heartily. She took some offense to this;
she thought it was a very valid thought and it had worried her the entire train ride to
Hogwarts.

"What's so funny?"

"Lily, nobody could mistake you for someone else, trust me," James said.
"You're one of a kind."

To this, Lily blushed and they walked on in companionable silence. He turned to look at her when
she shivered a little.

"Cold?" James asked.

"Yes," Lily looked back at him. "I loathe the cold."

"So I've noticed." James muttered. He looked down to the very warm jacket (his mum
had put a Warming Charm on it to keep her Jamie warm) and then shrugged it off, handing it to her.
She looked at it and shook her head.

"You'll be cold, won't you?"

"Nah, when you play Quidditch as much as I do, you tend to become immune to the cold."
He offered it again and she took it, putting it on. Out of the corner of his eye, James saw her
press her nose to the fold and smile a little bit. His heart leapt into his throat.

"It's getting dark," he observed, clearing his throat.

"You are so observant," Lily chortled back. She held the jacket closer to her and
looked down at the road. "You're in the Auror Program, aren't you?"

"Yeah, defeating dark wizards runs in the family," he laughed. "Started reading
the book yet?"

"Breezed through the first few chapters. I'm not so sure I want to do it anymore,"
Lily admitted. "I mean, if I loose it in front of a whole bunch of Slytherins, how am I even
going to compare to the Dark Lord?"

James was silent for a little bit. "Why do you let them get to you?" he asked
quietly.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because it's true?" Lily looked at him. He stopped
her.

"How is it true?" he said.

"You know, I am muggle born. And maybe I'm not as good as they are-"

"Says who?"

"I'm not," Lily shrugged, shuffling down the sidewalk once more. Down the road was
a playground with some nice swings, and she fancied a sit from walking around all day.

"Yes you are," James caught up with her. "You're twenty times the witch that
they are."

"Not something to be broadcasting in the middle of a muggle neighborhood, Potter,"
Lily said through gritted teeth as an elderly couple walked by. James looked at them and then back
to Lily.

"Not as if they can hear anything anyways, huh?" he nudged her. She glared at him.

"That was mean."

He retracted. "Sorry." He sat down next to Lily on the swing set and watched her rock
back and forth for a few minutes. She sighed and looked up at the sky and James cleared his throat,
looking down at the grass. "Is that the only reason why they get to you?" he asked.
"Because you think that they're better than you are?"

"Not just that." Lily was very interested in the stars above them.

"Well?"

"I guess..." She trailed off and turned to look at him. "I guess that I'm
terrified that if I make them mad that they'll come after my family. I feel like I'm
fighting a war on two fronts. Defending myself, and defending the homeland."

"Have you talked with Dumbledore about this?" James asked. Lily gave him a wry
look.

"Dumbledore? The headmaster? Sorry, James, but I'm sure that he doesn't really care
about me. I mean, I'm just another muggle-born with a family, right?"

"You don't know him that well, do you?" he laughed.

"Well, seeing as I'm not the descendent of the founder of Hogwarts, no," Lily
snapped.

James played with the swing chains. "Dumbledore doesn't care who you are. He treats
everyone the same. Even if you're Godric Gryffindor's heir or if you're some slimy
greaseball."

"James," Lily sighed, exasperated. "You really do need to stop being mean to that
poor boy."

"I do nothing unless provoked!" James said, holding his hands in the air.

Lily gave him a dry look. "Does the fact that he �exists' count as
provocation?"

"Yes."

She rolled her eyes. "You are so immature."

"Lily, you've got to understand something about my family. Ever since Godric, we've
had this sort of malice against all Dark Arts. Someone in my family has been involved in the
downfall of every single Dark Wizard in history."

"So?"

"So, we're kinda programed to hate any sort of Dark Wizard."

"That doesn't explain why you torment poor Severus." James felt nauseated. Poor
Severus?

"Because he's obviously on the path to being a Dark Wizard. He knows more spells than
some Death Eaters, I'd imagine."

"Well, obviously," Lily rolled her eyes. "You and Sirius attack the poor guy so
much that he had to learn them."

"This was before he came to Hogwarts," James said.

"Do you think that you're better than the Slytherins who make fun of me just because
I'm a muggle-born?" Lily asked. James paused for a moment, but obviously didn't make
the connection.

"No, because you can't change who you were born as."

"But he can't change himself, either. Or maybe he doesn't want to change."

"Well then it's his own damn fault and he can deal with the consequences," James
nodded. Lily shook her head.

"This is a losing argument, isn't it?"

"Yup," James said.

"So let's move on to something else."

"Ok." He sat sideways on the swing and looked at her. "How many blokes have you
kissed?"

Lily almost fell out of her swing. She was blushing madly at him and sputtered for a moment
until she finally answered, "That is none of your business, James Potter!"

"I'll tell you how many girls I've kissed."

"I know how many girls you've kissed," Lily hissed, wishing that the blush would
leave her face.

"Keeping count?"

"No, there are 27 girls in our year? Minus the Slytherins, that's 5, so 22, and of
course, myself, that's 21. Give or take about ten or fifteen under and older
classmen-"

"Whoa whoa." James held up his hand. "I think you're confusing me with
Sirius!"

"You both share the same girls right?" She had pursed her lips together. James shook
his head.

"Try about 8," James grinned. "And five of them were girls from Godric's
Hollow."

"Man-whore," she commented. James was stunned.

"That's not a lot, you know."

"Compared to the company you keep, I'll bet." Lily laughed and James laughed as
well.

"Do you know, that every time I want to ask him something after nine o'clock, he gets
all upset and tells me that he's with a girl."

Lily shivered, "That's disgusting."

"Tell me about it," James said.

"Oh please." She also sat sideways on the swing so that she could talk to him better.
"I'm sure you've done it many times too."

James thought for a moment and seemed to be counting. "Well, if you want to talk the actual
deed of �doing it', then I'd say 3 times."

"Three times?"

"Yes, but with the same girl. She was a muggle I had a fling with last summer."

"Really?" Lily said.

"You know, I do have needs and I can't wait around forever for you." James folded
his arms in front of him and smiled. Even though she had red hair and green eyes...but James
wasn't going to tell Lily that. "So what about you? I think we were on kissing,
correct."

"If you must know James," Lily's voice was very matter-of-fact, "I have been
kissed once. But it was a simple, innocent kiss."

James humphed, "Innocent? How so?"

Lily clicked her tongue inside her mouth and pursed her lips. She spoke as if the she was
telling James that the ocean was blue. "Well, obviously, there was no tongue."

To this, James turned into a laughing pile of goo on the ground.

"What?!" Lily cried, blushing. "It's not that funny!"

"Oh, it was just the way you said it!" James cackled. He put his hands on his waist
and gave Lily a very accurate representation herself. "It was innocent, there was no tongue.
Like that's a gauge to tell whether or not something's innocent!" Lily sputtered and
frowned. "Oh, Lily, that was great!"

"I'm so glad you enjoyed it." James looked up at her smiled.

"Come on, Lily. I'm sorry." He sat back on the swing and looked up into the stars.
"Do you want to start heading back?"

"Sure," Lily said, standing up. James followed and moved to put his arm around her in
a hug and she jumped back suddenly.

"What?" he said, concerned. "I'm trying to make amends."

She mumbled something that James didn't quite catch.

"Huh?"

"Fine, fine." He put his arm around her shoulders and she jumped again.

"I'm not going to strangle you or anything-" To that, Lily walked a few steps out
of his embrace and gave him an odd look.

"Lily, jeez!"

"I just....don't like people touching my neck," she said. "It's a phobia
I have."

A light turned on above James' head. He nodded. "So if....I do this?" He reached
for her neck and to his complete and utter surprise, she uttered a shriek of terror and ran five
steps ahead of him.

"Don't do that!" she hissed.

"Ok ok." He ran up to catch her and walked by her side for a few minutes. Then with a
glance over to her, stretched out his arms and yawned, then dove straight for her neck. The same
squeal of fright came from his studious Lily and she ran down the street, James hot on her
heels.

They ran all the way back to Lily's house, where James finally caught her and pinned her
onto the swing chair hands on either side of his neck. Lily was whimpering and James was
laughing.

"Ok, ok," he panted, from running and laughing so hard. "I'm done."

In retaliation, Lily reached up and put her hands around James' neck. He stared at her
blankly and then down at her hands. She frowned at him and crouched back on one side of the swing,
her knees acting as a guard against James.

"So let's see," James leaned over to rest on her knees . "I have learned
today that you have had one" he snorted "very innocent kiss, you have an evil older
sister and adorable younger brother, you hate peanut butter, and that you have a phobia of people
touching your neck."

"And I have learned," Lily squeaked. "That you are a mean and hateful
person!" As the words came out of her mouth, she could not believe it. She was flirting with
James Potter!

"But you already knew that," James smiled. "So are you going to trust me
again?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"What if I give you Marauder's Sacred Honor I won't ever touch your neck
again?"

"No."

"What if I cross my heart?" He put his head on top of his hands on her knees so that
he was face to face with her.

"No," she said very quietly. Although, she didn't really have to speak very loudly
because he was right in front of her.

"Hope to die?" He moved in closer and put his hand on her cheek.

"No."

"Stick a needle in my eye?" he finished.

"Please, could you? I've always wanted to see someone-" James closed the space
in-between them (there wasn't much) and pressed his lips to hers. For a moment, they stayed
like that until he moved and she pushed him away.

"James, stop." She pushed him away a little. James moved back to leaning on her
knees.

"What? Don't worry, it was innocent. There was-"

"I don't know if I want this," she blurted out. James suddenly felt very cold.

"W-What?" he said.

"I don't know if I want this." She repeated with much more conviction.

"Why not?" James said. He thought that he was on a roll! He'd gotten more
information tonight than he'd ever gotten with Prongs.

"Honestly?"

"Yes, of course," he nodded.

"Because you are an egotistical, self-centered, mean, hateful person and I don't think
that I could, in good conscience be your girlfriend under those circumstances."

"Wow, not that honest," James laughed, but it was half-hearted.

"Sorry." Lily looked down at her hands.

"So....you want me to change for you?"

"No, James. You just aren't.....aren't what I want in a boyfriend." She sat up
and walked to the door. "I'm really.....James, I'm sorry."

"The truth hurts, I suppose." His voice was very hollow.

"G-Goodnight James," she said, walking inside the door and closing it with a soft
click. He heard a rustling in the bushes and a soft pop.

"Ouch." Sirius came out from the bushes. James looked at his hands and felt his eyes
burn. He thought that he was getting better.

"Come on, Padfoot. Maybe....maybe it isn't meant to be?" Sirius sat down on the
swing and put his hand on his shoulder.

"No," James looked determined. "This is war, Padfoot. I'm going to get her to
go out with me if I have to change my entire personality."

"That's not a good sign, Prongs." Sirius pointed out to him. "Maybe we should
discuss this with Moony-"

"No," James stood up. "I've got a plan. But I'm going to need your help.
And Moony's too."

"Prongs, she's....mate, she's not going to come around," Sirius said.

"No, I think she's got some kind of feeling for me," James stared at the door
realizing something and smiling a little. "Deep down."

"Why do you say that?" Sirius asked. James turned to look at him with a satisfied
smile.

"She's still got my jacket."



12. Stuck
---------

*"And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true, I'm stuck on you."
-Stuck, Stacie Orrico*
Chapter Twelve

"Lily, honey. You've been so quiet this morning," Mr. Evans said, looking at the
rearview window. Lily was holding a blue jacket to her chest and watching the buildings fly by as
the family drove her to King's Cross. "Something on your mind?"

"Just....thinking about school," she smiled at him. It wasn't a complete lie. A
few thoughts swirling in her head had to do with school, or, more importantly, the Auror classes
that she was beginning. The book she had to read over the past three weeks was full with some of
the most complicated spells and potions that she'd ever seen. Thinking of Auror classes led her
to think of the Slytherins, who were probably going to be more and more abrasive to her now that
she was doing this.

She looked at Oliver who was ecstatic that he got to go past the barrier again. She was worried
for her family, what if something happened to them while she was gone? What if the Dark Lord
decided to go after them?

Then, there was the biggest thing on her mind. She looked down at the simple blue jacket in her
hands that no longer smelled anything of James (she might have worn it a few times....or maybe
everyday). He had invaded her every thought since she last saw him. His completely and utterly hurt
expression and the way his eyes just mirrored his breaking heart. And the way that his lips felt on
hers. And the way that she could just unlock her heart and talk to him for hours. And the way-

She let out a sigh of frustration. Once she got back to school and remembered just how much of a
jackass he was, everything would be back to normal. She would give him his jacket back, laugh about
how stupid she was to take it, and be sure not to look at him in the eyes because she might start
crying.

Her father and brother were kind enough to offer to carry her bags to the station while she,
Petunia, and her mother walked behind them. Lily was becoming visibly more nervous as they made
their way towards Platform Nine and Ten. She slipped through the barrier with her father and
brother and her mother and Petunia followed.

With a quick glance around the station, Lily felt safe that James had either not arrived or was
already on the train. She turned to the rest of her family and gave them all hugs goodbye.

"So you'll be able to do magic when you get home next summer, Lily?" Oliver
asked.

"Yes," she grinned. "I'll show you some good magic, all right?"

"Lily, darling, there is that charming boy, wasn't his name James?" Her mother
cooed, looking towards the platform door. Lily turned and felt the pit of her stomach drop. James
was there with his mother and father and Sirius, who Lily remembered was living with James now.
James' mother made her smile because she was fussing over the two of them like a mother hen.
She fiddled with James' hair and he ducked away from her hands.

James' father was giving the boys some wand movement instructions and making James smile. It
wasn't a mean smile or even a big-headed one, but it was a nice smile that made Lily's
stomach flip-flop.

"Lily, I'm going to take these bags to the compartment, all right?" Mr. Evans
said, hoisting the bag onto his shoulder. "Come on, Oliver."

"Ok, Dad," Lily nodded, watching as Mr. and Mrs. Potter left their two sons to their
devices. Sirius was the first to spot her and nudged James. He turned to catch her straight in the
eyes and then looked down to what she was holding in her hands. He and Sirius made their way over
to her and she met him halfway.

"Hi." Her voice was very soft like she was in a library.

"Hi." His voice was equally soft.

"Um, you left your jacket." She thrust it at him, not looking at him in the eye.

"I know."

She heard a disapproving click behind her. Lily turned to see Petunia with an upturned nose.

"So it's his jacket that you've been wearing every single day for the past three
weeks." She looked at him and Lily wanted to crawl into a hole and die. After murdering
Petunia, that was.

James couldn't respond to that and he just nodded dumbly. Sirius was snickering.

"Um, James. This is my sister, Petunia." She felt the blood rushing to her face.

"Hello," he smiled at her. Sirius looked at her and made a very loud sound.

"Oh, and his friend Sirius." Sirius, never one to be shy in front of a lady, booted
James out of the way and made his presence known to Petunia.

"Such a lovely name," he grinned. "To fit a lovely woman."

Lily gaped at him. She loved her sister, but she was most certainly not lovely. She was rather
horse-faced and boney. James knew that this was a line he used often and just sighed. Petunia
seemed taken aback.

"Excuse me?" she sputtered. Sirius took her hand and was about to kiss it when he
noticed the giant rock on her left finger.

"Sweet Merlin...." he whistled. Petunia snatched her hand away from Sirius and huffed
away. Lily's parents and Oliver were coming back, and Oliver, seeing Lily with two guys, ran
over to her.

"Hullo." He gave James a once over and noticed the jacket in his hands. Then he turned
to Lily a slight smile on his face. Lily blushed even more and looked away/

"Is this your brother?" James asked.

"Yes." Lily put her hands on his shoulder. Somehow, leaving Oliver out in the open
with James Potter in front was a very scary proposition.

"How old is he?" James asked.

"I'm nearly ten," Oliver said, proudly. "And I'm going to Hogwarts, too.
Only Lily says I have to wait until I get my letter. But I'm convinced I'm a
wizard."

"Are you?" James said, pulling out his wand. "Do you have one of these?"
Oliver made a sound and looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Wow! Lily's doesn't look like that!" James bent down so that he was at
Oliver's level.

"Yeah, every wand is different. Mine's mahogany. Wanna hold it?" Gently, Oliver
held the wand and flapped it around a little bit.

"Neat," he said. Lily's parents cleared their throat behind them and Oliver handed
the wand back to James. Lily followed him back to her parents and gave them kisses and hugs.
Boarding the train, she walked down the hall, looking for an empty compartment when the door
opened. Lily was half-afraid that it was Bellatrix, but it was Emmeline Vance, along with a few
other Ravenclaws.

"Hullo Lily," Emmeline smiled. "I had some questions on the book. I was wondering
if you would like to talk about it?"

"...Sure." Lily stepped inside and smiled at the Ravenclaws, all strangers to her.
They were introduced one by one by Emmeline, but Lily couldn't possibly remember them all.

"Did you get a lot of this book?" Emmeline asked when the other girls had broken off
into their own little huddle.

"Not really," Lily admitted. "But I don't think we're supposed to
understand it, do you?"

"I hope not," Emmeline said. She gave Lily a piercing look. "Are you
scared?"

"What?" Lily was caught off-guard, thinking about mahogany wands.

"Are you scared about becoming an Auror?"

"No," Lily shrugged. "I'm more scared for my family."

"I saw them," Emmeline nodded. "Muggles, right?"

"Yeah," Lily admitted.

"My mother's muggle-born."

"Really?"

"Yes. She said she always had a hard time in school because of it."

"It's no picnic," Lily laughed. Emmeline nodded and grinned.

"Lily?"

"Hm?"

"You know that we're the only two girls in the program, right?"

"Yes."

"I think we should stick together."

"I agree," Lily laughed. "It's us against all of those boys."

"Don't you know who's teaching the course?" Emmeline asked. Lily shook her
head. "Frank Longbottom." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "He's not too
bad to look at, if you catch my meaning."

"No, I do," Lily smiled half-heartedly. She didn't think that she could possibly
even think about another guy until she got James Potter off of her mind. Somehow he wouldn't
leave her alone.
***
"Prongs, get that stupid grin off of your face," Sirius growled at him. James looked
at him and sighed.

"So what exactly happened?" Remus inquired, opening up a chocolate frog.

"Lily handed him the jacket and then Lily's sister, rather hot-"

"She was not," James snapped out of his daydream to give him a disgusted look.
"She was horse- faced and boney."

"Yeah, but she had a nice figure," Sirius shrugged. James made a retching sound and
clung to his jacket.

"I'd rather take my Lily, thank you."

"So what did she say?" Remus pressed. "Lily's sister."

"Well she told Prongs here that Lily'd been wearing his jacket every day," Sirius
snorted. James sighed and buried his nose into the folds of the jacket.

"It still smells like her," he grinned. Sirius took off his own jacket and pelted
James with it.

"I hope we don't have to deal with this for the rest of the year," he groaned.
James threw his jacket back and gave him a serious look.

"You know, this means that if I want to stay in her good graces, then I've got to stop
being such a prick."

"Should we begin praying for a miracle, then?" Remus grinned. James threw him a dirty
look.

"Actually...I was thinking along the lines of you two helping me out a bit." He looked
at Sirius and then clarified, "Or maybe just Remus."

"What now?" Remus asked.

"Well, I want you to remind me, at least when Lily's around, when I'm being a
jerk."

"And I should do this because...?"

"Because you're my friend," James pleaded. Remus sighed.

"Will you stop tricking Lily in the forest?"

James looked at him oddly. "But then how will I know whether or not I'm doing the right
thing?"

"James, I refuse to help you unless you stop spying on her," Remus told him frankly.
James glared at him and then moved to the other side where Sirius was waiting.

"Will you help me?" he asked. Sirius shrugged.

"I don't know how much of a help I'm going to be, I'm usually the big jerk
there with you, mate."

"So what am I supposed to do?" James frowned.

"Maybe, you should begin from the inside and figure out just what is right and wrong for
yourself," Remus said.

"Inside out, huh?" James rubbed his chin in thought. And he realized that he needed to
shave. "I just might do that."

"And then you'll realize that spying on her is a wrong thing to do," Remus
finished.

James thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. "Nah."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Hopeless."




13. Where is the Love?
----------------------

*"People killing, people dying
Children hurt, [I] can hear them crying.
Can you practice what you preach,
And would you turn the other cheek?
...These people... got me questioning
Where is the love?"
- Where Is the Love?, Black Eyed Peas*

Chapter Thirteen

It felt like James had just laid his head down on the pillow when the light from the sun blinded
him in the eye. Normally, James lazed about in bed for a few more minutes and then sidled towards
the bathroom, but today he was on a mission, and he needed to be out of his room quickly.

He plopped down on the big chair in front of the dead fire and watched the girl's side of
the tower. One by one, the girls walked down, some wide-awake, some half-asleep, and the last ones
hurrying to put on their make-up and make it down to breakfast on time.

However, James did not see the one person that he wanted to talk to this morning. Lily was
either a very late sleeper (which did not coincide with James' picture of her) or she was a
very early waker. His grumbling stomach told him that if he missed breakfast, there would be hell
to pay, so James made his way down to the Great Hall. Sirius had saved him a seat, and he plopped
down it. He looked down the table for his red-headed love and realized with a jolt that she was no-
where to be found.

"Looking for Lily?" Remus asked, seeing James confusion. "She's over with
Emmeline Vance at the Ravenclaw table." He nodded behind him. James looked past Remus'
shoulder and saw Lily, indeed, sitting with Emmeline and other Ravenclaws. He frowned.

"What's she doing over there? Is she switching Houses or something?"

"I'd imagine that they're preparing for the Auror classes tonight," Remus
said. James looked confused and Remus clarified, "You know, the book that was assigned to us
to read over the break. Did you even read it?"

James laughed and ruffled his hair. "Of course I did, Moony. What do you take me for?"
he laughed. "Sirius read half and I read half."

"And you think that's good enough?" Remus asked.

"So why's Lily sitting over there at the Ravenclaw table?" James diverted the
subject.

"I would wager because that's the only other girl that's doing the
program."

"Really?" James thought of Sirius and the fact that the only other girl in the program
turned him down and smiled. "Sucks for you, Padfoot."

"Why?" Sirius broke his attention away from his breakfast.

"Because you won't touch Lily," he gave Sirius a knowing glance, "and the
only other girl turned you down."

"Huh?" Sirius looked at Emmeline and recognition dawned on him. His face darkened.
"Oh yeah, I remember her. She said that she didn't want to get a disease. Stupid
tart." He looked to James. "But I didn't tell anyone about that."

James pressed his finger to his nose and winked at his buddy. "Lily and I had a
conversation about it."

"Oh," he snorted, going back to his breakfast. "So, when's the next
�meeting?'"

"Hopefully, tonight," James shrugged. "But, I usually take my cue from her, so
who knows." Remus shook his head.

"Can't do it tonight, we have class."

James looked to Remus and then bit his lip. "And how often do we have these
classes?"

"Every night from 5-10."

Sirius choked. "What about dinner!?"

"We have a special dinner prepared at 4:30," Remus explained. "So that means that
right after our afternoon class, we head straight for the Great Hall, eat quickly, and then head to
the fifth floor until 10."

"B-But that means I won't be able to talk with Lily!" James exclaimed.

"Don't worry, we still have weekends off. You can talk to her all day."
Apparently, Remus still did not approve of James' method, as evident in his voice.

"But, that's only once or twice a week!" James slumped. Remus shrugged.

"That's the breaks, I'm afraid."
***
James had never seen so few people sitting at the tables in the Great Hall. It was almost eerie,
especially since there was only one long table filled with 8 people, eating quietly. James noticed
that the two girls sat apart from everyone else, still looking through the book and practicing wand
movements and such.

"Potter." He looked up and saw one of the Prewitt twins (Gideon or Fabian) looking
down at them. "Can we join you?"

"Sure," James said, offering a seat for the two next to Peter and Sirius. He
didn't know anything about these two because they had never had any classes together with
Hufflepuffs. They weren't even on the Quidditch team.

"Um." Sirius was looking at the two back and forth with an eyebrow raised. "Can
we put a bell on one of you?"

They exchanged glances. "Why?"

"So we can tell you apart." James snickered and Remus blushed from embarrassment.
Sirius could be so blunt at times.

"I'm Fabian," the one on the right said.

"I'm Gideon," the one on the left said.

"Well, a fair judge that is," Sirius grumbled. "Don't you have some other
distinguishing features?"

They shrugged.

"Oi, this is going to be troublesome." Sirius ran his hand through his hair. James
looked down to the end of the table and caught Lily's eye looking at him. She blushed and
turned away.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it after a while," Gideon said. "We
do."

"Can't you get some sweaters that say �G' and �F' on them?" Sirius asked.
"I'm sure we can find someone who can make sweaters. Or maybe we could color coordinate.
Gideon, since your name starts with a �G,' yours can be green. Fabian...Prongs, what color
starts with an �F?'"

"Fushia?" James shrugged.

"Do you have any fushia-colored sweaters?" Fabian looked like he was going to protest
deeply to wearing pink, but they were interrupted.

"I hate to break up this interesting conversation, but it's time to go." A deep
voice said above them. James turned around and recognized the person as the one talking with
Professor McGonagall during the meaning. His name had to do with his ass or something.

"Professor Longbottom," Remus nodded respectively. To their surprise, �Professor
Longbottom' made a disgusted noise.

"Please, don't ever call me that." He shuddered. "Makes me sound so
old."

"What should we call you then?" Sirius asked.

"Frank. Just Frank," he said. "But really, we need to get started, I want to
cover a lot in our first night, if we're going to get things underway." He looked around
the table and pointed them out. "Let's see, obviously the Prewitt twins, James Potter,
your father sends his regards," James grinned, "Sirius Black, James' father also
sends his regards," Sirius grinned like James, "Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin."
Remus was sure that he could tell the difference between him and the rest because he was rather
peaky this time of the month, the full moon was three days away. He looked down at the end of the
table where the girls were still up to their ears in the book.

"And Lily Evans and Emmeline Vance." James' eyes narrowed at the way �Frank'
paused to look at Lily longer than the other girl.

"All right then, I'll go round up the girls and we'll head off." He strolled
down to the end of the table and called to them. James didn't take his eye off of �Frank'
as he sat down next to Lily. He made both the girls laugh and James realized it must have been
because he'd mistaken their names.

"James, you coming?" Sirius asked. James stood up and followed, but only after Lily
and Emmeline got up as well.
***
"All right? Everyone here?" Frank looked about the room. Emmeline was sitting on one
end, with Lily next to her, James plopped down next to her, followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter,
and finally the two twins (nobody'd been able to tell them apart yet). James wanted to be next
to Lily just in case he spotted �Frank' watching her again.

"I hope that you have all read the book. As it turns out, that book is usually taught over
the course of six months, but, as our time is limited, we are going to be going faster than most
classes and we will be done in three months." He surveyed the room. "How many of you are
seventeen?"

Only James, Remus, and the Prewitt twins raised their hands.

"How many of you will be turning seventeen by June?" They all raised their hands.

"Good. After finals, you should all head straight to the ministry and get your Apparating
licenses. Our class, which usually is let out for the summer, will continue, and the best, and
cheapest, way to get to the site of classes will bet to Apparate."

He stood behind the podium and cleared his throat. "Now, just because we're moving so
fast doesn't mean that I don't think that some of you might fall behind. That's why any
time that you are having trouble with anything, I want you to come to me or any of your other
teachers." He gave a short laugh. "Trust me, even I'd have a load of trouble doing it
this fast."

James noticed that his eyes darted to Lily, who seemed completely unaware. His heart leapt into
his throat. She looked so cute concentrating like that....

"Now, let's begin," Frank continued. "Seeing as there are a multitude of
items that we can begin with, I picked my least favorite subject in school. Potions. Now," He
leaned on the podium so it rocked back and forth. "Can anyone tell me why an Auror would need
to learn about Potions?"

Lily's hand raised slowly.

"Yes, Lily?" James didn't like the way that he said her name.

"Well, I've heard about them in passing, but aren't there certain potions that only
take effect when other things are added after they are taken? So that the people don't know
that they've been poisoned until it's too late?" She blushed a little bit. "I
don't know if that made sense."

"No, it did." He flashed her a winning smile. Lily's blush deepened. James growled
silently. "Lily's right, though. They're a select group of potions called the
Polyplenus group. They are the ideal weapon against people because of the way they take effect.
They consist of two or more completely different potions administered at a different
time."

"Excuse me, but I don't quite understand," Emmeline raised her hand. Frank thought
for a moment.

"Maybe if I give an example. The Trifalsus potion is one of the more deadly, because a
person doesn't even realize that they are dying until it's too late." That made a few
of them uncomfortable. "The first element is a vapor version of a Swelling solution. It is
very diluted so that it causes little damage, and, when sprayed, the victim may feel a little
uncomfortable and feel like they have a cold. The second element is Alihotsy, anyone know what that
is?"

Remus raised his hand. "It's a plant. The leaves cause hysteria. But why would anyone
eat it?"

Frank nodded. "The Alihotsy leaf looks similar to a regular iceburg lettuce leaf, and it
can be easily confused. But, when combined with the Swelling solution, the plant does not react.
Oh, there might be some nervous tension, but nothing compared to what normally happens. So, the
victim is still blissfully unaware of what is happening to him or her."

"But why is this potion so dangerous if the ingredients keep it from harming you?"
Sirius asked.

"Well the final ingredient does much worse than it's intended to," Frank said,
solemnly. "The Drought of the Sleeping Death is not hampered or hindered by either of the
other elements, in fact, it awakens them both. The drought puts the person into a very deep sleep,
that they won't wake from easily. But then Alihotsy begins to take effect and the victim's
blood pressure goes through the roof, spreading around the Swelling solution, causing the arteries
and veins to swell, as well as the wind pipe. The victim suffocates in their sleep."

The room was silent. James saw Lily put her hand to her neck and gulp.

"These potions are very deadly and an ideal weapon of the Dark Lord because they are so
easy to administer to unsuspecting Aurors and political officials."

James suddenly was worried for his family and sunk lower in his seat.

"However, there is some good news," Frank grinned. "Once you know what's
wrong, you can do a simple Engorgement Charm-"

"Engorgment Charm?" Remus asked. "Wouldn't that do the opposite of what you
needed to do?"

"One would think so," Frank said, tapping his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "But
the combination of the Alihotsy and the Drought make it so if a Reducing Charm is used, the effects
will happen ten times faster, and death is almost instant."

They all gulped.

"Which is why you're going to learn the ingredients of all of the potions and be able
to pick them out," Frank ended, cheerfully. "Now, open your book to page 357 and
we'll start going over them."
***
When the 8 students left the room for the evening, they all had mirrored looks of horror and
disgust on their faces. They had learned that there were a grand total of 15 Polyplenus potions,
each with 2-8 ingredients that caused death ranging from simple suffocation to spontaneous
combustion.

Once they had left Emmeline and the Prewitt twins (Sirius was annoyed to learn that they even
changed the same color green) at their respective dormitories, the five Gryffindors headed back to
their tower. Peter was the most anxious to get back, and cited that he would be the first to use
the washroom, and that if anyone argued, they could say hello to the contents of his stomach.

James hung back with Lily and Remus. He could see the paleness of Lily's skin and looked
over to Remus. He, too, had a white pallor, but, as James looked out the window, the full moon was
two nights away.

They reached the door and Peter ran up the stairs as fast as his little feet could carry him,
followed by Sirius who told them that he'd watch over Peter. Remus went slower and kept looking
out the window.

Lily was about to walk up her staircase and (as James found out in his 2nd year) since he could
not follow her, he called out to her.

"Lily!"

"Yes?" she turned around.

"Are you....are you ok?" he asked. She looked about two daggers at him, instead of the
fifty million she usually used with him.

"Why wouldn't I be? Because I'm not some strong boy-"

"No. Because it freaked us all out." James folded his arms in front of him.
"It's just that we're too manly to ask each other about it."

Lily's eyes seemed to soften a little. "If you want to know, no. I'm not."

"Me either," James admitted. "If this is just the beginning...I mean, what else
can they throw at us?"

"Or our families," Lily admitted softly. James looked up at her.

"Are you worried for them, still?"

"Yes," she said.

"And you won't go talk with Dumbledore?" James asked. Lily shook her head.

"No. I'll....I'll get over it soon enough." She turned to walk back up the
stairs.

"If...If you need to talk about anything," he stepped forward. "You can come talk
to me, you know."

Lily smiled. James hoped that she was thinking about Prongs.

"I think I've got that covered, but thank you for the offer." She ascended the
tower stairs. James turned and walked up his own stairway.

When he came into his room, he was greeted with the sounds of Peter retching. Remus was staring
at the windowsill and looking at the moon with the same sad face that he always had. He looked
around for Sirius and saw him pacing the room as Padfoot.

He could see that his friend was antsy from the way his muscles in his back were tense and the
fast wagging of his tail. Bending down, James reached over and gave him a scratch behind the ears.
Padfoot looked at him and then popped back into Sirius.

James watched as he continued his pacing as a human.

"How can they...who would...I can't even...." James knew that he was thinking of
his family from the way that he couldn't even pop out a single coherent sentence.

"I know, Padfoot," James soothed. "Why don't you go run around some? Hey,
I'll even go with you?"

"No. It's ok." Sirius sat down, but was still shaking. "James, who would want
to inflict that on anybody?"

"That's why they're evil, Padfoot." Remus spoke up from the window. James knew
that he was always cranky before the full moon. "And that's why we're becoming Aurors.
To stop them from doing this to innocent people. So you can wallow in how terrible this all is, or
you can suck it up."

"What if I don't want to suck it up?" Sirius replied back at him. Remus sent him a
glare that could freeze boiling water.

"Then be glad that you have the option to fight against this injustice." He stormed to
his bed. Sirius realized what he'd said and felt terrible. He had no room to talk about how
horrible he felt, when one of his best friends turned into a man-eating monster every month.

"Moony-" Remus closed his bed curtains, glaring at Sirius. He stood up and walked to
the bed. "Moony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" James put a hand on his shoulder.

"Just let him be for now," he said. "It's near the full moon, you know how he
gets."

"Right," Sirius said, sitting down on the bed. "Should we go check on
Wormtail?"

They exchanged glances and James stood up. "I'll do it."



14. Not Myself
--------------

*Suppose I said
That I'm on my best behavior?
...Would you want me when I'm not myself?
-Not Myself, John Mayer*

Chapter Fourteen

Other than the fact that there was almost certain death and death probably wouldn't come
swiftly, James realized another reason why there were only eight students who signed up for the
program the next day when Professor McGonagall assigned them a 3 foot essay on human
transformations gone wrong, due in a week. Then, they had to begin researching Patronus Charms for
Flitwick. Plus their nightly classes, they had only the weekend to get a week's worth of
homework from all 6 of their classes, unless they wanted to stay up all night.

James grumbled about it all, but then when he looked to his left (where Remus usually landed
himself), he felt even worse. Remus had apologized the next morning for being in such a foul mood,
but both Sirius and James agreed that he didn't have to. They stuck by him protectively and
James even did a quick Copy Charm so that Remus could sleep in History of Magic and his notes would
be copied as James wrote them.

However bad their day was, the evening faired much better. James noticed that no one really had
much of an appetite during dinner, but Frank was looking quite pleased with them all. In fact, at
their Auror class that night (Remus insisted that he go, even if it pained him to walk), Frank told
them all some very good news.

"Congratulations, you have all passed the first test of the Auror classes," he beamed.
At the complete confusion on everyone's face, he elaborated. "The first character test, I
mean." He paused and thought for a moment. "Actually, in a real class, this would be
about the fifth, but Minister Bagnold wanted to make sure that you had the stuff to take all this
information in during a sped-up course. Which is why you should all be proud of
yourselves."

"But what's the test?" Sirius asked.

"The test is quite simple. I tell you about the stomach-churning Polyplenus potions. You
study their effects. If you come back sane, you pass," Frank said, his eyes sparkling.

"So those are the character tests?" James asked, incredulous.

"It is the best way to figure out whether or not wizards and witches can take the things
that will be presented to them. Normally, there is a build up to the Poluplenus potions so the
shock is not so great. But you eight are obviously made of stronger stuff than some full-fledged
wizards."

Nobody was too proud of that.

"Now, we're going to start on certain charms that come in handy-" Seeing the looks
on their faces, he laughed. "Don't worry. This isn't as bad as the Potions. Because
you all did so well, we'll stave off some of the more disturbing aspects of Auror work for a
couple of weeks."

After class, Remus said a hasty goodbye to James and Sirius and headed to the hospital wing,
limping the whole way. Siris and James stood and watched him leave with pity on their faces. But
they doubled their efforts in class the next day to keep Remus up-to-date on everything that he
needed for classes.

When 4:30 came around the next afternoon, and James was about to take his first bite of dinner,
he realized with a very hard pang that they would be in class during Remus' most painful time,
his transformation. He told this to Sirius in a hushed tone during their dinner while Peter was
chatting merrily with the Prewitt twins.

"So what are we going to do?" Sirius asked. "We can't just skip class.
I'm already behind as it is. Those charms were a pain in the ass."

"Maybe one of us can slip out saying we're going to the bathroom."

"It's possible, but won't that raise even more questions?" James asked.
"I mean, I don't know if Frank knows whether or not he's a you-know-what."

"Ok, I'll go tonight, all right?" Sirius said. "And I'll just....talk
with Flitwick or something." James nodded and looked down to the end of the table where Lily
was picking at her food silently next to Emmeline. "But how am I going to skip class?"
Sirius asked.

James thought for a moment. "Maybe, you can come a few hours late. You can say that you had
detention for something and had to come later."

"What if he checks?" Sirius asked.

"Then he checks." James shrugged. "Though, I think he's too daft to
wonder." Sirius raised his eyebrow at James.

"What now?" Sirius asked. "Why don't you like Frank?"

"Surely you see the way that Frank stares at Lily," James said. "It's
indecent."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Sirius gulped down his milk. "He's a
professor."

"Who left school three years ago," James reminded him. "He's not that
old."

"I think you need to get over it, mate." Sirius stood up and grabbed his bag. "I
mean, she was staring at you all throughout class today."

"What?" James felt his piece of roll get stuck in his throat.

"Yeah. And at the train station, she couldn't keep her eyes off of you." He
stretched and put his bag over his shoulder. "So if he has any intentions, which I doubt,
she's pretty much sending signs that she's interested in you." James grabbed his bag
and followed him.

"But she said herself that she wouldn't date me."

"Sure, but weren't you going to change that?" Sirius raised his eyebrow at him.
"When we came back from Lily's you were on this �Prongs-for-A-Better-World'
kick."

"I know. But I don't know what I can do."

"Why don't you do some of that sappy prefect thing that Moony does?" Sirius
suggested.

"Like what?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Tutor someone, stop a fight in the hallway,
that kind of goody- goody stuff."

James blanched. "But that'll ruin my reputation."

"It's your reputation or your girl, you're gonna have to choose," Sirius
shrugged. "I won't think any less of you, you know."

"Thanks." James grinned. "I'll bring Wormtail along after class is done. Then
maybe we can go chat with Professor Flitwick together, all right?"

"You got it," Sirius grinned and looked down the table. "By the way, the Daft One
is with your girl again." James looked down the table and saw Frank talking quietly with Lily
and Emmeline.

Daft as he was, James noticed the way Frank probed Sirius when he took an extra long bathroom
break.
***
Lily was not an indecisive person. Actually, she loathed indecisive people. It was a problem her
sister had (on everything except her hatred of Lily's "abnormality"). Never knowing
whether or not she was going to do something, what would happen if she did it. No, Lily hated those
people, and prided herself on her ability to sift out pros and cons and then quickly come to a
decision.

So why was she so topsy-turvy on the topic of James Potter!?

She had told herself (while wearing the sweet-smelling jacket) that James Potter would return to
big git with the sexy ass as soon as they returned to school and he blew something up. Never, in
her wildest dreams (ok, maybe in her wildest dreams), had she imagined James being...a nice
person.

Her first inclination of this �radical transformation' came when she heard yelling in the
hallway and saw the light from wands bouncing off of the walls. She arrived to see Evan Rosier, a
Slytherin 7th year (with a carrot for a nose and two red peppers for lips), and a Gryffindor 5th
year(whose arms had turned into large tentacles) on the ground, Stunned, with James Potter speaking
pleasantly with a shocked Professor McGonagall.

"...and I just stunned them. It's a terrible thing, fighting in the hallway, you know,
Professor," he said.

"Yes, well, 10 points from Slytherin and Gryffindor and 15 points to you, Mr. Potter.
Though it would be wise in the future for you and Mr. Black to follow your advice." She undid
the spells on them and sent them off to the hospital wing.
***
Wednesday afternoon, Professor McGonagall came into their History of Magic class. Lily felt a
constriction in her chest and saw that the rest of the class was shifting nervously in their seats.
Professor McGonagall gave a quick smile to the class and the breath everyone was holding was let
out. Nobody's parents were dead this afternoon.

"Excuse me, Professor Binns, but I was wondering if you would excuse Mr. Potter and Mr.
Black for the rest of the class period."

Professor Binns gave a quick shake of his head and James and Sirius left. Lily pursed her lips.
They had probably pulled some terrible prank that landed somebody in the hospital wing, or they had
destroyed some property or something of the like. She looked over to Remus, who was back from
visiting his sick mother, and mouthed �What happened?'

Remus shrugged and continued to take notes.

Lily passed by the Transfiguration classroom and expected to see Sirius and James taking notes,
but they were practicing a spell that they had learned in Auror classes. They thanked Professor
McGonagall and hurried out the door.
***
Then, Lily found him surrounded by a cluster of first years on Saturday morning. She could see
his wand pointed at one of them and she stormed over there to see what he was up to.

"And then you swish and flick," he said. "*Wingardium Leviosa*." With a
gasp of approval, the book that was in the first-year's hand flew upwards and then landed back
in his hands gently.

"Ok, now you try." 11 *Wingardium Leviosa*'s sounded and 3 books levitated
into the air.

"James, what...are you doing?" Lily said, almost too stunned for words.

"I'm helping these wonderful kids out with their Charms homework," he grinned.
"Care to join us?"

"..." Lily shook her head and walked back to her side of the Common Room, completely
confused. She turned back to look at him and then headed out the door. James knew exactly where she
was going and turned back to the first years.

"Yeah...just keep practicing and you'll get it. I'll be back later!" He
hurried out the door, excitement circulating in his chest. He'd not been able to see what
Lily's response to the entire winter break episode, nor his new self, and he was anxious.

"So what is this new and improved Potter I'm hearing all about?" A sly voice
called. James skidded to a halt. He turned and saw Snape staring at him.

"What'd you want, Snivellus?" he said. "I'm in a hurry.

"I see." Snape strolled across the empty hall and twirled his wand in his fingers.
"So it is true that old habits die hard."

"Only when it comes to you." James kept walking.

"Then again, maybe not," Snape called. "Here lies a perfect opportunity to attack
me, nobody watching, and James Potter walks away."

"I'm not walking away." A voice in his head (which sounded a lot like his father)
told him to turn around and curse Snape into oblivion. There was also a second voice in his head
(which sounded like Remus) that told him if he so much lifted his wand, all that he'd been
doing would be wasted forever.

In the end, his decision was made for him when Snape attacked him first by sending him flying
into the wall. James whipped around faster than Snape could see and cursed him back. Snape fell to
the ground, obviously in too much pain to move.

"JAMES POTTER!" James closed his eyes and gripped his wand, his hatred of Severus
Snape growing tenfold. Lily walked towards him, fuming. James turned and tried to explain
himself.

"Lily, I swear, he attacked me first! I was-"

"I don't want to hear it!" she spat. "You and your �changed self.' You
disgust me!" Her voice was so high and shrill that it left his ears ringing as she stormed
away.. Or maybe it was because he was getting so mad at the pleased laughter on the floor. He
turned to Snape and growled.

"You are so dead, Snivellus." James didn't think that he'd ever been so mad in
his life.

"Careful, your mudblood girlfriend'll come back and give you a tongue lashing," he
sneered. James gripped his wand even tighter. "You know, even for a mudblood, she's too
good for y-"

But Snape never finished his remark, because James had hexed him ten times and left him oozing
on the ground.

However, James' anger was no where near Lily's wrath when he met her in the forest. She
was muttering to herself and shaking her head while she jotted down ideas for her Transfiguration
essay. James approached her and she looked up at him. She was shocked at first, and then her face
broke into a smile.

"You are one stubborn animal." She closed her book and put down her quill to get up
and pet him. "Well, serious developments have happened in the area of James Potter." She
paused in her petting. "Events that...well..." She sat back down. "He kissed me.
And, the worst part about it, I liked it. I really did."

James felt like he could start flying. Maybe he should look and see if Santa needed some more
deer for his sleigh for next Christmas.

"But...when he was being so nice to me, and even though I told him more than he needed to
know, I just kept seeing him laughing when he's cursing Severus or pulling a prank on some
third years."

*But I'm fixing that, aren't I? Please tell me that it's working.*

"He's been weird lately, though. Ever since we got back," Lily sighed.
"He's been so nice to people. Like this afternoon, I saw him tutoring some first years.
He's never tutored anybody before, save Peter Pettigrew. And it's made me forget, a little.
I mean, I see him now as the James that I talked to in the park, the one that made me feel like I
was pretty, and interesting, and wanted by someone. But...I can tell that it's not going to
last."

*What?! How?*

"Today I found him fighting with Snape. He's so fake," Lily frowned and James felt
his heart sinking. "But, as much as I told myself that everything would be back to normal when
he did something like this, I can't hate him now.

"I want to hate him for putting up a front so that I'll like him, but I can't.
Somehow, the fact that he's trying to change himself, even if it is a front, just to date me,
it's flattering, in a weird sort of way." She cast a look over at Prongs and looked
around. "Don't tell him that, though. I refuse to date him until I see that he's
changed from the inside out."

*Hm...Remus said the same thing. Maybe I'm not going deep enough.*

"Besides that, there's other developments. I'm starting this Auror program and some
of the stuff that we're learning is so..." She looked as if she was trying to find the
right word. But James could read the look on her face plain enough. "I'm worried that when
we have character tests that I won't be able to pass them." She steeled her face.
"I'm just going to have to fake it. Fake it really, really well." She gave a little
laugh. "Too bad I'm not an actress."

She thought for a moment and then a light came to her face again. "Oh! Good developments in
the friend department," she grinned and reached up, stroking his long, furry face. He would
have sighed if he had the capability to. "The only other girl in the class, Emmeline Vance,
and I have become quite close. This may sound silly, but she's fast becoming a real friend for
me. She has to be, I mean, nobody else understands what it's like to read about a potion that
suffocates you in your sleep."

She moved to put her hand against her throat again, but then looked down at her Transfiguration
homework. "Well, this is due on Tuesday, so I'd better get to working on it."

James realized that with the full moon and Auror classes that he hadn't started on his essay
either. So while she was immersed in her essay, he slipped away and went to do his.



15. My Valentine
----------------

*"And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine."
-Valentine, Martina McBride*

Chapter Fifteen

Classes at Hogwarts had never passed so quickly for the eight in the Auror classes. Before any
of them knew it, it was February and another Hogsmeade visit was upon them. Sirius knew that
Valentine's day was approaching, as his owl was bombarded with secret admirer letters and
proclamations of love beginning on the first day of term. It was an annual joke among the Marauders
and they never failed to press Sirius on the issue.

"So, are we planning to break the Hogwarts record of 4,382 letters this year?" Remus
asked casually one morning.

"Where'd you come up with that number?" James asked.

"It's in Hogwarts, A History. I looked it up the other day when I was researching for
the DADA essay."

"Why do you need to research, Moony?" Peter asked. "You already know pretty much
all there is to know?"

"Yes, well, I was looking up the trials and such," he said, quietly. James cleared his
throat and continued on their previous conversation.

"So, whose got the magic number of things?" he asked.

"It was back in the 1500's, I do believe," Remus said. "What's your grand
total now, Padfoot?"

"Oh, I dunno. At least 400 since January," he said, off-handedly, looking through the
letters. "Who'da thought that so many girls had it out for me?"

"Are you sure they're all girls?" James grinned. "You never know these
days...?"

Sirius closed his eyes and sent an apple flying at James, who ducked just in time. Then he
packed all of his fanmail into the giant bag that he kept them all in protectively. "Yes,
they're all girls. No guy could write this girly."

"How do you choose?" Peter asked. Sirius shrugged.

"The top ten who sound the most desperate and the most sane, I have dates every half-hour
during Hogsmeade."

"That's so terrible, Padfoot," James shook his head.

"Hey, if they don't like it, they can find another date."

"Hey James, how are you coming along with Lily?" Peter asked. "I've noticed
that you haven't been doing as much damage as of late."

James sighed and tapped his fork on his plate, looking down the table were Lily was sitting
(again) with Emmeline. The Ravenclaw had broken from her table for once and sat with Lily at the
Gryffindor table. They were talking over something that interested them both, from the way that
Lily's eyes lit up. She'd been so pleased with him as of late, and then...disaster happened
every time he was getting somewhere.

"James?" Peter asked. James tore his eyes away from Lily and gave Peter a tired
look.

"Well, Wormtail. It seems as though Snape has it out for me lately," James frowned.
"Ever since he's figured out that I'm trying not to be so much of a prat, he's
been showing up and taunting me, right in front of Lily. Now, you can't expect me to just take
that, can you?" He sighed and sat back. It was true, almost every day for the past three
weeks, Snape had been lurking around every corner when James was in the vicinity of Lily. At first,
James tried to ignore it, but then he'd done a few well-cast hexes, and James had no choice but
to retaliate.

"And what does she say about that?" Peter asked. "I mean, to Prongs."

"We've been so busy that she hasn't ever gone out there. So I don't know. But
from last we chatted, she can't hate me," he finished, proudly, then sunk down into his
seat. "But who knows how much damage these past weeks have done."

"Are you going to ask her to Hogsmeade?" Peter asked. James thought about it for a
moment and shook his head.

"I have to wait for the opportune moment," he said. "I mean, you know how pissed
she gets when I ask her to go out with me."

"So you're just going to leave her alone?" Peter scratched his head in
confusion.

"No, I'm going to subtly exude my presence during the next few days," James
clarified. Peter, who was often confused by his big words, stared at him owlishly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means, Wormtail, that I'm going to, in essence, woo her," he grinned.
***
Single-Awareness Day (or as other people called it, Valentine's Day) was one of the worst
days of the year for Lily. All throughout elementary school, she had to endure the torment of
Petunia's many valentines (though Lily thought Petunia was horse-faced, she was more popular
with the boys than Lily was). Lily despised it at Hogwarts too, simply because she loathed seeing
public displays of affection in the hallways.

She was half-inclined to start docking points from snogging people in the hallway, but knew that
the teachers would just brush it off and tell her to find someone to snog herself, which made her
even more horrified. If it was one thing that disgusted her above all other things, it was the fact
that the teachers had to break up snogging sessions in the hallway. For some reason, it made her
cringe.

Speaking of Lily's love life, James Potter had been unusually silent during this time of
love and lust. Usually, when they returned to the new year, James would double his efforts to get
her to be his valentine, asking her sometimes three times a day. But now, he didn't even so
much as hint to the day, and she was in close quarters with him for 5 hours a night nowadays. She
was feeling a tad put-out, and, in awe of herself, wondered if James was still interested in
her.

But one day after Auror class (she was feeling pretty badly because they were practicing some
dueling spells and she hadn't been able to put a tear in the pillow they were using, when
everyone else completely obliterated their pillows), she came to her room and found a single red
rose lying on her pillow. No note, no anything except the single rose.

Something akin to relief welled in her chest, he hadn't forgot about her, even though
she'd been horrible to him as of late. She touched the rose and then picked it up, mindful of
the thorns, and quietly walked down the girl's staircase and up the boy's. She stopped at
the door that was marked �6th year' and knocked quietly.

"Coming!" came the suave voice behind the door. Lily rolled her eyes. Sirius Black was
probably expecting a girl to come visit him tonight. When he opened the door, he whistled.

"Look here, Prongs. Lily's finally come around!" When he came fully in the door,
Lily could see that he was shirtless. He put his arms around her and grinned. "So, Lily,
darling, shall I woo you first with some poetry, or do you just want to get down to-oof!" Lily
looked to the ceiling in annoyance and slammed her arm into his stomach. She could hear water
running in the bathroom from both the sink and the shower.

"Calm yourself, Black. I'm here to see Potter," she said.

"Somewone cawing me?" Came the voice from the bathroom. Lily felt her breath catch in
her throat when James came out of the bathroom wearing naught but boxer shorts with little Snitches
on them that flew around. She tore her eyes away from the moving Quidditch balls on his pants to
the well-defined area of his chest, that she'd had the pleasure of rubbing with Vick's
Vapor Rub not too long ago.

"Wiwy?" he said through his tooth brush. She cleared her throat and looked at him in
the face. He was blushing a nice shade of red.

"I need to speak with you about something," she managed to stammer out.

"Owkay," he said. "Giwve me a miwnet." He went back into the bathroom and
Lily heard the water that was running stop.

"I wouldn't go out there, Moony," she heard James warn.

"Why?" A voice responded. Lily must have turned three different shades of red then
because out of the bathroom wearing a white towel was Remus Lupin. He jumped and yelled when he saw
Lily and then went back inside the bathroom.

"Maybe, I'll just....wait outside." Lily scooted out of the room. She was trying
to erase the picture of James Potter's Snitches, but they weren't going anywhere. He
didn't help things when he came out wearing those boxers and no shirt.

"You wanted to see me, Lily?" James asked, putting his arms over his very pretty
chest. She could see goosebumps raising on his skin.

"Er-Yes," she said, holding up the rose. "Did you give me this?"

James took the rose and looked at it. "Nope. But I can remedy that." He handed it to
her and grinned. "Merry Christmas."

"James, I'm serious."

"No, he's in there."

"Stop." Lily wanted to get to the bottom of this soon. "I want to know who sent
me this flower?"

"If I had to wager a guess, I'd say Frank Longbottom," James shrugged.
"He's been making eyes at you lately."

"Frank? No, it couldn't have been him. He's engaged." Lily told him.
James's brow furrowed.

"How do you know this?"

"He told me," Lily told me. "He's been giving me some extra
pointers."

"Really?" James fought with himself not to be interested. "Any particular reason
why?"

"Well, he's been trying to make me more prepared than the rest of you. I'm a
natural target," she explained, amazed that James didn't fly off the handle. "Why do
you ask?"

"I thought it was indecent," James said. "But I honestly don't know who gave
you that rose, other than me just a few seconds ago." He stretched and Lily could see the
lines of his muscles move.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, night." Lily was still transfixed on the muscles that she didn't notice that
they were gone until the door shut and she was bathed in darkness again.
***
Two more roses found their way to Lily's bedside the next morning, and Lily pricked her
finger on them when she tried to pick them up. She was worried for a moment that they may have been
some sort of Slytherin trick, but then she reminded herself that nobody but Gryffindors had access
to the dormitories.

After another Auror class, Lily found one on top of her bathroom things before she went to go
take a shower. She had started a vase of them all and when more came (three with her owl the next
morning, along with a letter from Oliver), she just added to the pot.

She started looking around for someone who might be looking at her oddly, but she realized that
her secret admirer was a very good actor. She couldn't find anyone that even looked her
way.

The final four that she got over the course of the Friday before the Hogsmeade visit (which
happened to be a Friday the 13th), all had notes attached to them.

The first, which she received when she awoke, had a note which read, "I'm charming this
flower so you'll have good luck today."

The second, which found itself into her Transfiguration book, read "You transfigure my
heart into a bird because it soars every time I see you."

The third, which sprouted out of her pot in Herbology read, "Your eyes remind me of the
greenest trees in the world."

Finally, when she went to dinner, she found one on her plate. She sat down across from Emmeline
who was looking at it oddly.

"Did you see who put that there?" Lily asked.

"Nope," Emmeline replied. "Got a secret admirer?"

"I hope not, it'd be rather bothersome," she smiled, picking it up and reading the
note attached. "Meet me at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow morning, and I'll reveal
myself."

"So how many of those to you have total?" Emmeline asked.

"Counting this one, eleven. Maybe he's going to give me a dozen tomorrow."

"Hello ladies," Sirius crooned from behind them. "Since it's the day before
Valentines, how about we be more friendly towards each other?"

"How about not, Black?" Emmeline glared at him.

"Come now, we're not asking you to marry us," James said as he plopped down next
to Lily. "We just want to enjoy dinner with you. You're always sitting by
yourself."

"Hello Lily," Remus said, sitting on the other side of her, which left Peter to sit on
the other side of Emmeline.

"Oh, are we finally all sitting together?" Gideon (or Fabian) said, sitting down on
the other side of Remus. His brother sat down next to Peter.

"What do you have there?" Peter asked Lily. She held up her rose.

"A secret admirer note."

"Are you still getting those roses?" James asked, biting off the edge of a roll.
Lily's gaze pierced him.

"And you don't know who's sending them?"

James sighed. "No, I don't know who's giving them to you. I thought we went over
this?"

Lily pondered his words during the rest of the Auror classes as she cursed her pillow into
tattered feathers.
***
The next morning arrived cold and crisp and Lily put on her best robes to go out into the
village. She was praying that it wasn't some first year with an infatuation, or Peter
Pettigrew. She hoped it was someone nice that truly liked her and wanted to date her.

She sat down in a booth and ordered a butterbeer. She realized that the note didn't specify
a time, so she could be waiting all day. Taking a light sip of her butterbeer, she looked around.
She could see Sirius Black snogging a girl in the corner (funny, she thought she'd seen him
come in with another girl) and Remus Lupin and Peter playing wizard chess in the corner. But no
James Potter.

"He's probably snogging some other girl, but has the decency to go into a corner,"
she muttered to herself.

Suddenly white filled her vision. She blinked and made out the contours of a white rose and the
fragrance hit her. She smiled and took the rose delicately in her hands, realizing that it was
thornless.

"I daresay you've had enough thorns." The familiar voice said above her. Lily
looked up and gave James Potter a slightly annoyed look.

"I thought that you said you didn't send them?" she asked. James was pleased to
see that she wasn't too incredibly upset by the discovery.

"Correction. I said I didn't give them to you, with the exception of the first
one," he said, looking very pleased with himself. "A random first year girl gave them to
you. I just told her where to put them."

Lily smiled and looked at the rose in her hand. "So all of those little letters-?"

"I got bored just sending them to you," James shrugged. "So I figured I'd be
a little creative."

"So I suppose you want me to be your valentine for the day, correct?" James was taken
aback.

"Why no! I just wanted to give you some roses, that's all."

Lily couldn't believe it. "So all of that, was just because?"

"Of course, if you want to be my valentine for the day, that would be all right
too."

Suddenly Sirius ran up to them, two different colors of lipstick smeared on his mouth.
"Quick, have any of you seen Jennifer Graham?"

"No, why?" Lily asked.

"Damn!" Sirius cursed, running to the next table. James was chuckling.

"Sirius is trying to break his own record of snogging only 10 girls in one day. He's
going for 20, one every quarter hour for five hours."

Lily gasped. "That's terrible!"

"Yes, well, he didn't make his quota with love letters this year, so he's trying to
outdo himself in some way. From the looks of it, he's running a few minutes behind." He
turned to her and looked out the door.

"So, since my best friend is busy with all of his lady friends, shall we take a walk around
Hogsmeade?"

"Sure," Lily laughed and went for her purse. James stopped her.

"It's taken care of."

"James, you shouldn't-"

"But I want to," he came around to the other side of the table and offered his arm.
"C'mon. Let's go explore."

Usually, Lily stuck to the Three Broomsticks and the surrounding stores, but James decided to
take her all around the village to places she'd never been before. They stopped at the
Shrieking Shack for a little while and James told her about it.

"Supposed to be the most severely haunted place in all of Britain," he told her.

"So why was it just built our first year?" Lily shot back. "How'd it get so
haunted so fast?"

"Well..."James's face seemed to grow a shadow "...they say that the owners
build the house over the portal to Hell. One day, a giant hand reached up and grabbed all of the
people that were working on it, and the owners and pulled them all down to the depths. The
shrieking sounds are their tortured cries as they are burned for eternity." He ended right in
front of her face, trying to scare her. Lily stared back cynically.

"Then how come there wasn't a big hole before they built the house? And how come
nobody'd fallen down there before?"

James ran his hand through his hair. "You're a tough one to scare."

"I just don't believe in ghost stories." Lily sniffed. She stopped to think for a
moment. "Well, ones that don't have tangible ghosts, that is."

They heard running and looked to see Sirius running down the street, lipstick all over his
mouth. He was out of breath.

"Mate, have you seen Gina Matthews?" He huffed.

"Nope," James said. "By the way, you've got some lipstick right around
here." He made a motion that encompassed his entire face.

"Shut up," Sirius glared.

"Do you think that he'll be able to do it?" Lily asked. "Snog twenty girls in
one day?"

James watched him go and said, "Who knows?" He turned to her and cleared his throat.
"Though I don't think that he's snogging her innocently. I do believe that there is
some tongue," he grinned.

"Potter..."



16. The Distance
----------------

*"The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to gray
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away."
-The Distance, Evan and Jaron*

Chapter Sixteen

Irony was a bitch, Lily decided the day after Valentines. For the past 3 years (ever since James
had decided that girls were not disgusting), all she had heard was �will you date me' and �go
out with me, Evans' and she loathed him. But now that she had started to fancy him, and
expected him to go along with it whole-heartedly, but he'd stayed distant from her.

She had a feeling that it had to do with the fact that he had a Quidditch game to prepare for.
Ever since he realized that Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were neck and neck and were playing each other
for the Quidditch final, he had thrown himself into his favorite past-time, which, so Lily thought,
hadn't gotten that much attention as of late.

So that left her all alone and wondering what the hell he had put into her butterbeer at the
Three Broomsticks. In all honesty, it was a very good act he put on, and she was very pleased to
see that it was, in fact, him that was holding that beautiful white rose in front of her. However,
it was still the fact that James Potter had caused her to have a good time twice, and once when he
was at school, when there was no other excuse.

Now that James was pretty much gone from her side for a while, she was left at the mercy of the
Slytherins. When he walked her to classes and such, they left her alone. But now that he spent
every waking moment on the Quidditch pitch, she had no one to keep them away.

The Slytherins, as if spurred on by some invisible force, had decided to make the only Muggle-
Born in the Auror training program miserable. She suspected that they had found out more about the
program and had direct orders from the Dark Lord himself to stop or at least severely maim whoever
they could get their hands on.

She was probably the easiest target (other than she was always alone) simply because she was the
only one who didn't fight back. She was the only one who would just dock points and walk away
when they teased her. Of course, they never dared touch her as long as any friend of James Potter
was around, as they wouldn't blink before cursing their heads off.

She told no one of these attacks, simply because they would think her too weak and not able to
take out a few teenagers. Besides, if any one in the class caught wind, they'd recommend that
she be taken out, as she didn't have the right �stuff' for the class.

One bright and sunny Saturday afternoon in March, Lily decided to see if her old stag friend was
out and about. Happily, there he was, as if he'd never left. She put her bag down and walked
over to him to pet him.

"Hello," she grinned, running her hand down his long neck. "I thought I'd
fancy another visit."

*Visit me all you like, darling,* James grinned inwardly. He was pleasantly pleased when
Lily had been all smiles about his Valentine's Day stunt and he was feeling like he had been
neglecting her with all of his Quidditch practices, and he wanted to see if she was still happy
about V-Day.

"James has been oddly distant since Valentine's Day," she told him. "I think
that he's doing it on purpose. You know that old adage, �absence makes the heart grow
fonder?' Well, it has."

*Well, then,* James thought with a mental grin. *I suppose I should thank Ravenclaw after
I smash them to bits for keeping me �absent.'*

"And...this is going to sound very silly, but I miss seeing him all the time. I mean, I see
him enough during the classes, but Valentine's day was just so....fun."

*Yay!* James was pleased to see her eyes light up in remembrance.

"Anyways, I didn't come out here to talk about James, even though he just keeps popping
up in my mind." She laughed a little bit. "Did you know that he has these boxers with
Snitches on them?"

*Oh dear, she's talking about my Snitch boxers again?*

"I've probably told you about that before," she grinned and shook her head.
"It's so weird that once he stops paying attention to me is when I start to fancy him a
little bit."

*Yes, and that's all according to my...er...very impromptu plan.* It actually never
occured to James that Lily might be more interested if he just left her alone. But now that he
thought about it, the thought did make a lot of sense.

Her face dropped and she sat down on the old rotten log. "But anyways, as much as it pains
me to stop talking about James, there is a problem."

*What?*

"It's those damn Slytherins again," she sighed. "They've started using me
for target practice, just because I'm the only Muggle-born."

*Fight back, Lily! You know enough curses to blow them into next Tuesday.* James was
getting quite tired of Lily's �I'm-not-worthy' act.

"It's not as if I'm defenseless," she shrugged. "Well, there's a
couple of reasons why I don't fight back. The first is obvious, since Murphy's law is
always in effect, when I even try to fight back, I'll get points taken away and get
detention."

*Who's law?* James wondered.

"And second of all...I'm afraid that if I start, they'll go after my
family."

*If you're so worried about your family, then why don't you talk to Dumbledore!?*
James sighed.

"I just wish I could put a bubble around them and protect them from all harm," Lily
said. "And I can just see Bellatrix..." She shivered. "You know, I've got half a
mind to think that half of them are already Death Eaters, with the way that they act."

She gave a little laugh. "I wonder if they have an Early Death-Eater program?"

*Knowing them, they'd just throw them out there and say �Get cursing!'* He thought
of Sirius' little brother Regulus and cringed.

"Anyways, I just wanted to tell you about my little Slytherin problem, because I know that
you understand and won't tell anyone. And I'll keep my eye out for any more pod-people that
have replaced James Potter. Or myself."

*What are pod-people?* James wondered as she walked back up to the school.
***
Lily was fast at work on the finishing touches for her DADA essay when the door to the Common
Room opened and Professor McGonagall came in. Lily looked up and, for the second time in a year,
her heart stopped.

"Miss Evans? The headmaster wishes to see you," she said, quietly.

Lily closed her book and stood up mechanically. "No one has died, Miss Evans, you don't
have to be so terrified."

Lily let out a breath and glared at McGonagall's back. It was like she enjoyed in the
torture of her students or something. Sadist.

"Chocolate Frogs!" McGonagall said, and the gargoyle that they were standing in front
of jumped to the side. Lily looked towards McGonagall who nodded towards the open door and then she
walked through it into the Headmaster's office.

"Ah, Miss Evans," came the old voice from above. Lily looked up and smiled faintly
when Professor Dumbledore made his way down the stairs and sat down in his desk. "Please, have
a seat."

She sat down in the chair in front of his desk and folded her hands in her lap nervously.

"If Professor McGonagall did not inform you, your family is fine," he smiled, eyes
twinkling. "However, it is because of them that I would like to talk with you."

Lily cast a glance out the window to the Forbidden Forest below and then shook her head. It
couldn't have been....?

"A little birdie flew in and told me that you have some concerns about your family's
safety." Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling. Lily rewound to a conversation she had between
herself and James Potter on this subject.

"A little birdie by the name of James Potter, huh?" Lily seethed. Dumbledore
chuckled.

"Yes, but it was Professor Longbottom informed me of a problem first. Professor Longbottom
has informed me that he doesn't think that you are reaching your potential as an Auror. He has
spoken with your other teachers and they have told him of what you are capable of. So he had come
to me to ask my opinion on the matter. However, it was Mr. Potter who informed me that it was out
of concern for your family's safety that you do not do the best that you can."

"Professor, I can explain-" Lily started. Oh, she was going to ring Potter's neck!
Dumbledore held up a hand to silence her.

"Miss Evans, you will not be leaving the program any time soon, unless, of course, it is
your choice."

He dug in his desk and pulled out a bag. Lily gaped at him as he pulled out a lemon drop and
popped it in his mouth.

"Would you like one, Miss Evans? I'm sure that you know what these are."

"N-No thank you," she said, staring at him. "But why do you have a bag of lemon
drops?"

"Miss Evans, contrary to what most wizards think, I hold muggle invention in high esteem.
Some of the things that come out of that world, far surpass the things that come out of our
world."

His eyes twinkled as if telling her something.

"For example, I have never been a fan of Bertie's Every Flavor Jelly Beans, as I came
across a vomit-flavored one in my youth. I find that candy, no matter the kind, should be a
pleasure to everyone, and not just the inventor. Which is why I stay with my muggle lemon drops,
predictable yes, but always satisfying."

"Professor, what should I do about my family?" Lily asked in a small voice.
"I'm afraid that they'll become a target if I become too good or put too many people
in Azkaban-"

"Miss Evans, there is nothing to be gained from hiding. If we allow the words of our enemy
to disparage us from our chosen path, then they have won. Would your family rather you be less than
you are or them be safe?"

"Professor, you've never met my sister have you?" Lily asked, dryly. Professor
Dumbledore gave a little laugh.

"I, too, and blessed with an unfortunate sibling. My brother Aberforth-" He cleared
his throat. "As I was saying, your family would rather you succeed in life than be mediocre
because of them. You must ask yourself whether it would be better to be less than your potential or
to take a chance, albeit a small one, and help many more families like yourself before they suffer
the fate you foresee for your own?"

Lily was silent and then said, "But what can one person do?"

"Sometimes, Miss Evans, one person can make all the difference in the world. If you can
save one life, who knows what that life could end up doing?"
***
"Potter!" Lily cried, walking into the Common Room. James was hunched over a table
with Peter, and looked up when his name was called.

"Yes, Lily?" he called back.

"Potter, why did you go to Dumbledore?" she asked, stomping her foot. James stood up
and stretched, walking over to her and leaning against the table.

"Because I wanted you to see that nothing is gained from-" The rest of the words died
in his throat when Lily threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," she said. He smiled at returned the hug, savoring in the feel of her in
his arms.

"Well, if I'd known that I'd get a free hug out of it, then I'd have done it a
long time ago," he chided.

"James, you are incorrigible," Lily laughed, pulling away from him. Peter coughed from
the table.

"What, Wormtail? You're interrupting my time with Lily!" James growled. He turned
back to her. "So are you going to start putting your full force into your Auror
work?"

Lily nodded. "And since you were such a loudmouth, I think you'll be my first
victim."

"Anytime, lovely," he grinned.

Lily made sure that he wasn't grinning at the next Auror class that they practiced dueling
in. She wanted to show him just how into it she was now. As he limped away, draped around
Sirius' shoulder, she couldn't help but see a satisfied grin on his face.



17. Tsubasa no Keikaku
----------------------

*"At some point, these laughterless days have started bothering us
There's nothing I can do now, it's all shut away
When we ride this blue wind beyond the clouds
Let's fly away and forget everything."
-(translated) Tsubasa no Keikaku, Do as Infinity*

Chapter Seventeen

James learned to stick with Peter if he wanted a decent night's sleep when they were
practicing dueling in the Auror classes. But aches and pains aside, the Quidditch season was fast
coming to a close and Gryffindor's game against Ravenclaw was edging closer and closer. James
had made a deal with Frank that he could skip an Auror class a week, so that he could continue with
his practices, and they held them for a few hours on Saturdays and all day Sundays.

Even though he had found out that Lily didn't much mind to him being gone, and him being
gone seemed to help his cause a bit, James didn't want this entire week to be a waste of time.
So he decided to bring up the subject of sports with Lily during one dinner.

"So, Lily, coming to the game this weekend?" he asked her, very nonchalantly.

"Probably not," Lily replied. Emmeline sniffed and gave James a scathing look.

"That's because Ravenclaw is going to flatten you," she said, raising her eyebrow.
James laughed.

"In your *dreams*, maybe."

"Don't be mean, James," Lily scolded. Emmeline was one of the first girls that she
had ever had a connection with and she didn't want James Potter screwing it up for her.

"It's just a bit of friendly house rivalry, Lily," he said, not taking his eyes
off of Emmeline. "So would you wager a bet on this?"

"Betting is illegal," Lily reminded him. He gave her a tired glance and then sat
back.

"All right, all right. But we're still going to win."

"Why is this so important?" Lily asked.

"Because, this is the game of the season!" James insisted. "Whoever wins this is
the Quidditch champions!"

"And why do we care so much?" Lily asked, looking at the two fo them. Emmeline coughed
and adjusted her robes.

"Right," Emmeline said. "Because Ravenclaw's still going to win the House
Cup. Why, we're ahead in the House Points-"

"But Gryffindor's going to win the Quidditch cup," James retorted. "That will
put us over the top."

"Well, that's why Ravenclaw's going to win," Emmeline said.

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Oh my GOD," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Not a fan of Quidditch, Lily?" Emmeline asked.

"No," she said.

"Lily thinks that all sports are dumb," James mimicked.

"I most certainly do not."

James couldn't resist. "Do too."

"Impossible!" she cried.
***
However Lily tried to escape Quidditch the next week, it was all anyone could talk about. There
had never been this close of a tournament in years. The Slytherins, ready to ally to any opponent
of Gryffindor, stood by the Ravenclaws (who weren't all that thrilled to have such a back-
stabbing ally), and the Hufflepuffs, not really ones to take sides, chose to side with the
Gryffindors, though were still friends with the Ravenclaws (but never with Slytherins because they
teased them too much).

Much to her chagrin, the name that was all over people's conversation was James Potter. Last
year, against Slytherin, their Seeker had �accidentally' hit James square in the face and broke
his glasses. In the instant that he had stopped to protect his eyes from the shards of glass, the
Seeker had caught the Snitch. It was still a very sore spot with James and another reason why he
hated all Slytherins. That was James' first year as Captain. Now, he was itching for the
Quidditch Cup on his mantle and he was only upset that Slytherins didn't do better this year.
He was telling everyone that he was going to show Slytherin just what they would have expected if
they had advanced to the cup.

Not only was he all Lily heard about when she was awake, but dreams of little Snitches on boxers
had been plaguing her dreams. And James had been up to his old tactics of asking her every day to
come see his game. He'd even gotten Sirius and Peter in on the act, and it was driving her up
the wall.

"I suppose you aren't going to ask me to come to Potter's game?" Lily asked
Remus one evening just as they were leaving Auror classes. He looked at her seriously and then
said,

"Are you going to Potter's game?" He couldn't hold up the serious face for
long and the broke out into a smile. She rolled her eyes.

"You four are incredible," she laughed. "So I suppose that James has been getting
advice from you on how to be a nice person."

Remus looked at her sideways as they turned a corner. He didn't fail to notice the way she
changed from �Potter' to �James.' "No, actually. I am boycotting helping James in any
way right now."

Lily laughed. "Why?"

"Because-" Remus stopped and cleared his throat. "Because I can't tell you
why. Sacred Marauder secrets, you know, strictly hush-hush and all that jazz."

"I see," Lily said. "He must be doing something terribly horrible,
then?"

"No, it's just something that I do not approve of."

"Would it have anything to do with me?" Lily asked. Remus shook his head without
waiting a beat. Though he didn't like what James was doing, he wasn't going to blow his
cover.

"No."

"I see," she said. "But what do you think about all of this change in
him?"

Remus sighed and looked out at the moon, half full. "He's making an honest attempt. He
really does fancy you, you know."

Lily blushed. "I know."

"And, from what I can tell, you fancy him back." Remus looked at her from the corner
of his eye. She was beet red.

"If he can stop tormenting Severus Snape, then I'll consider it."

Remus let out a short bark of laughter. "I'm sorry Lily, if that's what you're
waiting out for-"

"No, I'm not waiting for it," Lily corrected. "I'm just...Remus, I
don't know anymore."

"What do you mean?" Lily shuffled her feet and sighed.

"I mean, when we left for the winter break, I knew what James Potter was to me. A selfish,
mean-hearted person who cared only for Quidditch and girls. Now...now he's a nice person, even
if it is just a facade."

"No, Lily. James *is* a nice person," Remus defended. "He just
gets...carried away sometimes. You really should give him a chance."

"I thought that you weren't going to help him," Lily grinned. Remus cleared his
throat.

"Well, I figured that one or two comments won't be held against me. He is, after all,
my friend."

"Yes." Lily looked down at her hands. "Does he really fancy me that
much?"

Remus nodded. "To be fair, since I know your sister embarrassed you about that jacket of
his, he didn't let it go once we were on the train either."
***
James paced the locker room in sheer anxiety. He wanted this cup so badly that he could taste
it, but his attention had been so divided lately, what between his regular classes, Lily, his Auror
classes, Lily, the full moons, Lily, and meetings as Prongs, he'd barely had time for his
beloved sport. But, nonetheless, he had a good team, and he was ready to take on whatever the
Ravenclaws brought.

As he stepped out onto the pitch with the rest of his team, he looked up into the roaring stands
and immediately looked for his fan-section. It wasn't hard to miss because Sirius always put up
a giant sign that said �James Potter's Fan-Section!' and had a stick figure with black
spikes for hair zooming around on a broom. He noticed that his faithful Marauders were directly
under the sign, cheering along with the rest of the crowd.

Was that a flash of red next to Remus? His heart beat faster. But he couldn't get a good
look because the teams were meeting. He shook hands with the Ravenclaw captain and then took to the
air when Madame Hooch blew the whistle.

James' first destination was his fan-section, where the roar was coming the loudest. His
heart stopped in his chest. There, sitting next to Remus and watching him with happy eyes, was his
own Lily Evans.

She waved at him and he grinned goofily back, then, when a Bludger almost hit him upside the
head, he put his head back in the game. Knowing that Lily was there watching him, cheering for him,
made him fly faster and better than he'd ever done.

His team took their cue from their captain and flew remarkably well too. His three Chasers were
performing flawlessly in every move and scored goal after goal. His two Beaters were just having a
good old time with the Bludgers (it had been one of his Beaters who had hit the Bludger at him at
the beginning of the game). His Keeper had let only two goals through so far, but had been saving
them left and right.

Finally, James saw the Snitch (he had a thought of when Lily called it the �Snatch' and he
had to laugh) fluttering on the other end of the field. The Ravenclaw Seeker had seen it as well,
but she was much closer. He glared at her and put a move on his broom, making it go faster. They
raced neck and neck, until they reached the left goalpost, where the Snitch was fluttering. The
Ravenclaw Seeker, seeing that they were about to careen into an iron pole, moved out of the way,
but James kept going and at the last second, dipped under the loop and grabbed the Snitch.

The roar of the stadium was deafening. James made a victory lap and circled three times above
his fan-section, where Sirius and Peter were doing a victory dance. He swallowed hard because Lily
was grinning broadly at him and clapping along with Remus.

After everyone had started heading back to the Common Room, the Gryffindor team went to the
locker rooms to get changed. James felt like he was going to explode. Lily had come to his game!
Lily had come to his game! And she had been cheering!

He came out of the locker room to find another shock, there she was, waiting for him with a shy
smile on her face.

"Hey," he said, putting his broom over his shoulder.

"Hey, great game," she grinned. "I mean, I'd never paid attention before, but
that catch you made was amazing."

"Yeah, I was afraid that I was going to hit the pole," James admitted. "I'm
so glad that you came."

"Me, too," Lily grinned. "I probably would have been branded a traitor by my own
dormmates if I hadn't come."

"Nah, I'd still like you." James realized what he'd said too late and he felt
a healthy blush rise to his cheeks.

"James, how does it work?" Lily asked, timidly.

"What?"

"Your broom."

"Haven't you ever flown before?"

"Well, first year, but I never did that well-"

"Do you want to take a ride?" James knew that he was going off on a limb here.

"Now?" Lily looked around. The Quidditch pitch was empty and the sun was setting out
to the west.

"Sure, why not?" he grinned.

"But, won't you miss your party?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Once you've been to one Quidditch victory party, you've been to them
all."

"But what if this is your last party?" Lily asked. "What if you never, ever win a
game for the rest of your life?"

"Don't jinx me, Lily!" James hissed and then cleared his throat. "But it
won't matter. I'd rather take you flying anyways."

Lily was so taken aback by that comment that she followed James out to the pitch without so much
as a peep. She only began protesting when he told her to climb on in front of him. She put up her
hands and shook her head.

"No, I've changed my mind," she said, taking a step back. James kicked off the
ground and swooped by her, picking her up in his arms. She gasped and held on to him, as if she was
going to fall. She could hear him chuckling at her.

"What?"

"We're about three feet from the ground, you aren't going to die," he reminded
her. Sure enough, her toes were skimming the ground. She didn't hear what he said because she
was concentrating on how his Adam's Apple vibrated in deep, rich tones when he talked. Then,
she felt her stomach drop as they went zooming up higher and higher.

"James!" she cried, clinging tighter.

"Come on now," James chided her. "I'm not going to drop you, Lily."

"I know, but who says I won't fall?" she was eyeing the grass below them with
longing. "A broomstick isn't that big, you know."

"Yes, but...hold on," he shifted her around so that she was on the broomstick properly
and so that he could put his hands on the handle of the broom and get a better grip; trying to
maneuver with her caddy-wompus in his arms would not do. But to get a good grip, his arms came
under hers and his head rested ever-so-lightly on her shoulder. She was holding onto his wrists
tightly and had her back pressed against his chest.

"There," he said, directing the broom in a few loops to test his handle on this new
position. "Now, you wanted to learn how to fly, didn't you?"

Lily somehow felt safer in the position she was now in and nodded. James reached up and took her
hands and placed them on the broom, then put his over hers.

"Now, the basics of broomstick riding lie in the body language."

"Body language, Potter?" Lily teased.

"Yes, body language," he pushed down on the broom and they went into a dive and then
pulled back up. "The best brooms react to the touch of the owner. My father's Silver Arrow
was so acclimated to his touch that he barely had to tap it for it to do what he wanted."

"I see. And where does one get your amazing Quidditch skills?" Lily asked.

"Ah, you see those cannot be taught," he zoomed over to the pole where he'd made
the spectacular save earlier and mimicked the move, causing Lily to gasp with the quickness of the
moves.

"I see," she laughed. She became aware of how small she was against him. His shoulders
were encompassing hers completely and that perfectly-lined chest was a nice feel against her back.
Which reminded her...

"James?" she asked.

"Mm?" he said, absentmindedly. He was off in his own little world of Lilies and
broomsticks.

"Do you wear those Snitch boxers often?" she asked. James looked at her and she turned
her head a little bit to look back at him.

"Did you like them?" he flirted back.

"I found them a bit distracting, to tell the truth." she smiled and was suddenly
worried sick for her breath and worried sick for herself for worrying about her breath in front of
James Potter.

"Yes, well, my mum thought they were cute," he said. Lily laughed a little bit as they
circled around a stand that once held the �James Potter Fan-Section.'

"James?" He made a sound. "What happened to my flying lessons?"

"Oh yeah..." he smiled. "Why don't you steer for a while?"

"What?" Lily said. He took his hands off of hers and put them around her stomach. She
went to pull her hands up, but ended up pulling the broom upwards. She let out a gasp of surprise
as they went higher. James laughed a little and moved his hand from her stomach and steadied her
hand.

"You're doing fine," he said, putting his hand back on her waist. Lily saw out of
the corner of his eye that he had closed his eyes. She grinned maliciously and then pressed down.
James came sliding even further onto her and had to grab the broom to keep them from slipping off.
He was pressed hard against her and her heart started racing for some odd reason. He was the first
to recover, brushing it off.

"One more move like that young lady, and you'll be grounded," he said, using a
mock-stern voice.

"Oh no," Lily laughed. She turned her head to look at him and her breath caught in her
throat. He opened one eye and saw that she was staring back at him and her eyes kept darting down
to his mouth. Taking a deep breath, he moved forwards-

When he felt a drop of wetness hit him squarely on the top of the head. He turned his head and
realized that the afternoon sky, which was once bright and cheery, was now dark and stormy. He
opened his mouth to tell her that they should go in when the clouds opened up and poured right on
top of them.

As quickly as he could, James landed the broom and the two of them bolted towards the sanctity
of the castle. Once inside (and sopping wet), they had a good laugh at each other.

"Well," Lily grinned, flicking a piece of James' plastered-down hair, "I
guess you can't mess it up, can you?"

In response, James ran his hand through his hair, spraying her with water. His hair stuck up in
the back. "It doesn't go down, I'm telling you." He took a look at her hair,
which was drying a bit already and curled it around his finger. "What about you? You've
got curly hair."

Lily blanched and tried to straighten it out. "It's a terrible mess when it's
curly."

"Wear it like that on Monday, please?" James asked. Lily blushed and shook her
head.

"No, I can't, It's horrible-"

"Please?" James asked, looking deep into her eyes.

"O-ok," Lily finally relented.



18. Don't Speak
---------------

*"You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together and always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end."
-Don't Speak, No Doubt*

Chapter Eighteen

With a soft click, Lily closed the door to her dormitory quietly, so as not to wake the
inhabitants. They'd be up and about in about 15 minutes, but Lily was always the first up in
the House, just so she could get a good morning walk in.

"How do you get up this early every morning?" yawned a voice from the staircase. Lily
looked down and found James Potter, a red mark still marring his face where he had slept on his
hand, waiting for her. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was messier than usual, but he was
awake and waiting for her at the junction of the two staircases.

"What are you doing awake?" Lily asked, softly, descending the stairs.

"Waiting for you," James answered, simply. When she came face to face with him, he
frowned. "You didn't wear your hair curly."

"I tried," Lily blushed, running her hand over the top of it and feeling the bumpy
strands of hair that ended in a tight bun. "It's horrible-"

James reached behind her and pulled the rubber band off of her hair and watched with early-
morning fascination as her copper hair cascaded through his hands. The curls were large and thin,
and very frizzy; James could see why straight-laced Lily detested her hair. But he loved it, the
way that each strand was completely different, but together was a mish-mash of perfection.

"It's gorgeous," James smiled at her, hand still tangled in her hair, lightly
cupping her scalp.

"I don't..." Lily looked down and a blush came to her face with his fingers
lightly brushing her scalp. "But if you say so..."

"I do," James unwound his fingers from her hair and gestured down the jointed stairs.
"Shall we?"

"All right," Lily heard some movement from both sides of the staircases.

They walked in rather companionable and amicable silence, mostly because James was too tired to
think of anything intelligent to say and Lily was too nervous to say anything intelligent.

"So...where do you usually go in the mornings?" James asked.

"Well, I usually take a walk around the castle, while everyone is still asleep," Lily
said, blushing.

"Must be nice, to be all alone," James said. Lily nodded. They turned a corner and
passed several students who were sleepily making their way down to breakfast.

"But talking with someone is so much better," she shrugged. "So-"

"Evans, why are you wasting your time on this waste of flesh?" A drawling, sneering
voice chimed in from behind them. James visibly stiffened but did not lash back. He wasn't
going to rise to Snape while Lily was watching so closely.

"I have nothing to say to you, Sniv...Snape, so just...get on your way." James was
pushing the words out through his teeth as if it pained him to say them. Lily looked at him oddly.
Was he actually being...civil to Severus Snape?

"I'm sure," Snape said, his yellow teeth bared. "You know, Evans, once he
gets you into bed, he'll leave you like he does all the rest of them."

"Lily, this is such bullshit," James said, looking at her. "Let's get out of
here."

"And do you think that he's changed?" Snape continued, rounding on them. He could
see James' attempt to keep control over himself was a losing battle. "Why, just yesterday,
I saw him using some first years for target practice for Auror spells-"

"Stupid lying Slytherin," James growled, rounding on him.

"At least I have morals," Snape continued. "Gryffindors may be brave, but the way
some of you sleep around, I'm not surprised that you people don't have some kind of new
diseases-" He didn't finish his statement because James had socked him in the cheek. Snape
had committed the ultimate sin by insulting James' best friend.

As with dueling, James was the better man, and he had gotten in a few good punches before he was
Stunned to the ground along with Snape. He looked up to see McGonagall staring over them,
absolutely livid. Sirius and Peter (among a gaggle of students that had accumulated to watch the
fight) were there as well, the latter holding the former back, and having a hard time doing it.

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Snape! There is absolutely no excuse for your behavior. You are a part of
the Auror program, Mr. Potter. And you, Mr. Snape, are a school prefect. There is no reason why you
two should be fighting." She whirled on Lily. "And you, Miss Evans. You are also a school
prefect and a member of the Auror program." She sniffed. "Twenty-five points from all of
you."

James felt his heart sink and sat up slowly when he was unStunned. Professor McGonagall stormed
off and James dared to look at Lily. She was blinking back tears. James opened his mouth, but Lily
took off running down the hall. James was up in a flash, after her.

"As I said, some people don't change," he smirked and watched James disappear
after his love interest. "Potter sure has turned into a coward since he's been broken by
Evans-" He was going to say more, but Sirius had stuck his wand in-between his eyes.

"Don't you ever insult him, you God-forsaken piece of trash," Sirius growled.
"He's just trying to be a better person, can't you just respect that?"

"Don't make me laugh, Black. You know as well as I do that Potter is after is
just-"

"Just because he's my friend doesn't mean he has my morals," Sirius shook
Snape again. "You'd better wise up or else."

"Or else what?" Snape asked. "Potter'll tell on me? You'll send whiney
little Pettigrew on me? You'll whine to your parents, or should I say Potter's parents,
yours don't want you anymore. What about Lupin? He'll cough on me, will he?"

Sirius suddenly was struck with an idea. Snape was still going on.

"I noticed that he's again missing from your gaggle of friends. And I've also
noticed that he's conveniently missing whenever you three are at your most actively
scheming-"

"Well, Snivellus, you've outsmarted us," he said, slowly. A grin was slowly
spreading on his face. "Remus really isn't going to visit his mother, he never has. Do you
want to know where we go every month, dear Severus?" He stepped back and put his hands in his
pockets. "Go down to the Whomping Willow, there is a tiny knob at the base of the tree. Press
it and the tree will stop moving. There is a tunnel under it, go through there and you'll end
up where Remus is."

Snape gave him a doubtful glance. "How do I know some sort of trap isn't waiting for me
there?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's the perfect chance to get us all expelled, Snivellus. Take it or
leave it." With that, Sirius strolled down the hallway, whistling.
***
"Lily!" James cried, rubbing his forehead "Hey! Lily!"

"Go away!" she replied icily.

"Well-um...Lily, I'm sorry-" James started lamely. Lily rolled her eyes.
"But, I mean, Lily he insulted Sirius and I-"

"That is no excuse for hitting him!" Lily stomped. "Like...like a
muggle!"

"What's so wrong with fighting like a muggle?" James folded his arms. "Your
family are muggles."

"B-But you're a wizard!" Lily stuttered. "Why didn't you-" she
changed her mind, "Never mind, you shouldn't be fighting in the first place!"

"Lily, you've got to understand something," James said. "In the male world,
when you're insulted, and your best mate is insulted, you don't just say, �Oh sorry, I
don't fancy you talking about my friend like that!' and then walk away skipping
happily."

"Well, sorry," Lily snuffed. "Being a girl, I don't know these
things."

"Obviously," James grumbled. "But from the way the shoe hit my scalp, I don't
think it's the only thing you're mad about."

"Well, Snape made a point, didn't he?" Lily asked, not looking at him in the
eyes.

"What point?" James asked.

"The point that all your trying to do is land me in....well, land me in bed," Lily
mumbled. "Why else would you be going through all this trouble to �change' yourself? And
he's right, you're not even changing yourself, you're just putting on a
front."

"I...uh....um..." James stuttered. Truthfully, he didn't know why he pursued her.
She was beautiful, yes, and he (like all other boys) would have liked to have shared a bed with her
for a night, but he was positive that it didn't end there. Unfortunately, his tongue was stuck
to the roof of his mouth so he couldn't profess all of these feelings towards Lily. So he
watched, helplessly, as her face became redder and redder, either with anger or embarrassment, or
both.

With a huff, she turned and stormed off down the hall. James finally picked his feet off of the
ground and ran after her calling for her. She kept a steady distance in front of him, as he kept
calling after her.

So she ducked into the one place where she knew that he couldn't yell at her, the library.
Plus she could hide among the rows and rows of books and loose him effectively. However, he was not
a Seeker for nothing and cornered her in the back of the library, away from Pince's surveying
eyes.

"Lily, I'm sorry I hit him, and you're not just a one night stand to me-"
James pleaded.

"Yes, because we've never had a one-night-stand, thank God-" Lily retorted.
"Why I ever thought that you were a good person is beyond me."

"Lily, I really have been trying," James said. "Honestly, I have. I'm not
good at it at all, though. Please teach me-"

"James, you're an impossible case and it would be a waste of my time," she huffed.
Suddenly, a terribly acrid smell permeated their noses. Lily wasn't sure what it was, but she
strongly suspected that it was a dungbomb.

"My, my, is this a little lover's spat?" The rolling voice of Bellatrix was
followed by another blast of the putrid smell. The two Gryffindors coughed violently and backed
away from her.

"Merlin's beard, Bellatrix, go a little lighter on the perfume," James coughed.
Bellatrix laughed throatily.

"It's a new brand, but I suppose you don't like it?"

"No," James hacked.

"Lily, you should really be less high strung," Bellatrix cooed. "You could die
from high blood pressure."

"I'll remember that," Lily said as Bellatrix sauntered away, leaving a wake of
coughing students as she passed. James turned to find Lily, but she had slipped away while he was
looking away.
***
James lay sprawled on his back in the Common Room. After a day of unsuccessful chasing around
the school of Hogwarts, James had finally cornered her to her dormitory. Only problem was that he
had forgotten that the girl's dormitory had an alarm system when it came to boys. So here he
lay, staring up at the red-draped ceiling, contemplating the beginnings of his errors and, more
generally, his life.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked, filling his field of vision.

"Thinking about the universe," James answered simply. "And where I went
wrong." "I can tell you that. When you first realized that pranking people was fun,"
Sirius grinned, holding out a hand. "Come on, I want to get down there as soon as we
can?"

"Why?" James asked, turning his head to the side but not taking Sirius' hand.

"I want to be there in time for the show," he answered, holding out his hand
again.

"Sirius, that's not funny," James frowned. "It's no picnic for
him-"

"No, no, no, Prongs. Not that. I have a new form of amusement for us tonight," he
said.

"What?"

"Well, I told Snivellus how to get past the Whomping Willow," Sirius laughed. James
blinked at him.

"W-What did you say?" he asked quietly.

"I told him how to get past the Whomping Willow-"

"You STUPID IDIOT!" James roared, sitting up so fast that it made his head spin.
"Do you even REALIZE what you've done!" He jumped up and ran out of the Common Room
as fast as his legs could carry him with Sirius and the rest of the Common Room staring at him like
he was crazy.

James sprinted through the hallways, ignoring the calls of teachers and prefects telling him to
slow down. A million thoughts were swirling in his head. A lot of them had to do with their pending
expulsion. And their pending trials to Azkaban for not only breaking laws concerning Animagi, but
for sending a 16-year-old fellow student to his horrendous death.

He just hoped that he could run fast enough.
***
Snape stared at the formidable tree thrashing about in front of him. He had a long stick in hand
and could just make out the little knob at the base. When the tree leaned up to come back down, he
stepped forwards and tapped the knob. The tree went through a shivering experience and then stood
up straight. In-between the roots, Snape saw a stairwell. He quickly made his way towards it and
then down the steps.

He was now completely bathed in darkness. Pulling out his wand, he murmured the incantation and
his wand a lit in a tiny light. The tunnel was earthen and dingy, as if it was just blasted away
instead of carefully dug. Slowly, because he did not want to alert anyone to the sound of his
incoming, he edged his way along the tunnel.

There was a light that was becoming clearer and clearer. He could see the covered light from the
moon shining in one window. He shuffled a little and his footsteps echoed into the open room.

"Padfoot? Prongs? Is that you?" Ah, there was the infamous Remus Lupin. Snape grinned
devilishly. He was not at home with his mother, unless his mother was relocated to this shack,
which he sincerely doubted.

"No, Lupin," Snape could see Lupin pale considerably. "But I'm sure the
headmaster will be very interested to see where you are going. I daresay he'll be quite upset
when he finds out that you-"

"Snape, get out of here now!" Remus said. If Snape had been listening over his extreme
gloating, he would have heard the begging in his voice.

"It's no use, Lupin. I know what I see, and you are most definitely not at your
mother's house."

"Snape, I'll..." he suddenly became rigid. Snape noticed that a beam of moonlight
had hit his arm. Then everything clicked into place for the Slytherin. The monthly disappearance,
the sickly nature before and after he left, it could only mean one thing.

"You're...a ... you're a ..." he couldn't spit out the words. "But
you're not allowed to...you aren't supposed to be-"

"Get...out...now....please! GO!!" Remus cried as he crumbled to the floor in severe
pain. Snape could see the bones in his face getting longer and his teeth rearranging. Snape backed
into the wall and grasped for something to defend himself with. Against a fully grown werewolf, he
would have no chance.

"SNAPE!" James Potter burst out of the tunnel and saw Remus slowly losing his mind on
the floor while Snape stood motionless against the wall. He ran towards Snape and grabbed him by
the arm.

"Potter, you....you've been-"

"We've got to get out of here before..."

A low growl emitted from the side of them. The wolf that was before Remus was fully transformed
and ready to eat manflesh.

James looked towards the tunnel and knew that Sirius and Peter would be making their way. That
would expose the truth further. But to their right, there was the door to Hogsmeade. However, there
was now a fully grown werewolf in their midst.

"Snape, when I say go...run towards the door..."

"But the fireplace is closer-" Snape hissed back.

"Don't argue with me, or I'll leave you for bait," James said. "I'll
distract him."

"How can you distract a werewolf?"

"I can do it, just run," James said. He edged forwards and the wolf growled at him.
Snape edged around the corner of the room. James licked his lips nervously. It was either risk
being bitten, or be sent to Azkaban for breaking wizard laws about Animagi.

"Moony...I know you're in there. Just hold onto that wolf for a few more minutes,"
James whispered. "I know that you can understand me..."

In response, the werewolf whined and took a few steps back. Snape bolted towards the door, and
the werewolf turned and ran towards him, jaws snapping. Snape was out the door when a big black dog
tackled Remus to the ground. The dog growled at the werewolf who immediately recognized him and
whined in appreciation. James took this opportunity to make his way towards the door.

Once the door was locked behind him and Remus, Sirius, and Peter were safe with at least one of
their secrets, James turned on Snape, who was very pale and trembling slightly.

"Stupid...fucking...Slytherin..." James reached back and punched Snape square in the
face again.
***
Albus Dumbledore brushed his hands off on his robes and adjusted his glasses. He had just
stepped into the Hog's Head bar to have a visit with the barman, and, as fond as he was of the
barman, the bar was in complete disarray. This was the norm, so Dumbledore did not say much about
it.

However, the sounds of a certain James Potter yelling his head off in front of the Shrieking
Shack, brought him away from his normal route of heading back to Hogwarts. He came upon the scene
of James red-faced and irate standing over a very pale Severus Snape.

"Why'd you have to go in there!" James was about hoarse now.

"How'd I know that there was a monster in there-?" Snape was back to his normal
self. James shook with rage and took several steps towards Snape.

"Remus is NOT a MONSTER!"

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, forcefully. He could see the back of James stiffen.
"I don't doubt that you know the secret of the Shrieking Shack, but it would be wise not
to alert the rest of Hogsmeade. I daresay you've alerted the first half already."

James turned and opened his mouth, but Dumbledore put up his hand. "I must ask both of you,
why are you out of the school at such a late hour. And on such a night as well."

"Professor!" Snape cried. "Sirius Black has tried to murder me!"

"Only because you're a nosy little-"

"That will do, James," Dumbledore gave him a smoldering glare. James was quieted
immediately. "Where is Mr. Black?"

"He's...not here," James looked away from Dumbledore and felt lower than he'd
ever felt in his life. To him, Dumbledore was something like a second grandfather, since he had
lost his first one in the fight against Grindlewald. Lying to him felt worse than lying to Sirius
or Lily.

"Where is he?"

"I...don't know," James stared at the ground. He wanted to crawl into a hole and
die right then.

"Well, you had best find him. Mr. Snape, up to my office with you. I believe we have some
things to discuss."

James stood there dumbly as Dumbledore and Snape walked towards the Hogwarts gates. Next to him,
he saw Sirius approach, his face unreadable.

"James, mate, I'm-oof!" Sirius keeled over as James lugged him one in the
stomach.

"I hope you realize what you've done," James said, staring over him angrily.



19. Get Yourself
----------------




20. Find My Way Back
--------------------

*"And you told me
Everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me
Now I don't know how I should deal
I should know me
And, baby, you'd think I'd know better."
-Find My Way Back, Michelle Branch*

Chapter Twenty

Lily opened her eyes slowly; she felt like she'd been sleeping for a century. But she
wasn't in her bed, nor was she in any place she recognized at first glance. Of course, her
brain wasn't exactly working up to par because it took her a few moments to realize that she
was laying in a bed.

She wanted to push herself into a sitting position, but her brain was ordering her body in such
a feeble voice that it wasn't listening. So she lay there, thinking about what had just
happened to her. With a jolt of fear, she remembered the horrifying feeling that she was dying.

But she was all right, how was she all right?

"Good, erm...good afternoon," a cautious voice said to her right. She turned her head
slowly and saw James sitting there, looking down, and trying to look innocent. Lily blinked, why
would Potter be wanting to look innocent?

"What happened?"

"Somebody tried to....kill you...using the Trifalsus potion," James said, rubbing his
hair. "And I...erm...saved you-"

"You did..." Lily tried to clear the fog out of her head. She was slowly remembering
things. Walking to the forest, feeling dizzy, her throat collapsing on her. As the memories played
through her eyes, James watched and waited for the inevitable.

And then her eyes widened and she sat up, remembering James transform before her very eyes.
James noticed her sitting up and seemed to shrink into himself. She continued to stare at him, not
sure what think of first; that he'd broken serious wizarding laws, or that he'd been spying
on her using them.

"Now, before you say anything," he said, quietly, "I did save your
life-"

"You bloody *prick!*" Lily said, very shrilly for someone who just woke up from a
deep sleep.

"Life-saving prick!" James reminded her, laughing lightly.

"How dare you....in the first place," Lily said, sputtering. "You could go to
*Azkaban* for this...illegal Animagus-"

"Life-saving, illegal...Animagus-" James said, a bit less lightly.

"I thought you were intelligent enough to draw the line between school rules and major
wizarding laws, but apparently, you're too much of an idiot to tell the difference!"

"Life-saving.....idiot," James protested, frowning a bit.

"And then! You bloody have used this stupid skill to *spy* on me, only to land me into
bed!" She seemed the most offended by this, because her cheeks were blotching red.

"Hey," James said, frowning. "I did not learn to be an Animagus to land you into
bed."

"Really? Just like you haven't been asking me out every bloody day to land me into bed,
huh? I can't believe you would sink this low, Potter."

"I also just saved your bloody life," James said, getting a tad angry at her.
"That's gratitude for you. You could be dead right now, but no, you're using your
precious wind pipes to yell at the person who saved your life-"

"*You learned my deepest secrets!*" Lily cried. "I told you some things that
I didn't want to you know! And you just...!"

"You're the one who opened your mouth," James replied, snarkily.

"What kind of an argument is that?!" Lily asked. "I thought you were a harmless
animal!"

"You know, you're being very self-centered about this-"

*SLAP.*

Lily was so aghast that all she could do was slap him hard across his face. "How dare you
call me self-centered, Potter?"

"I did, and I'll do it again!" James said, standing up. "You have to be the
most self-centered girl I think I've ever met in my life! I thought you'd at least be
grateful to me for saving your life, but no, you have to focus on what I did in the past
and-"

"Get out, Potter," Lily said, dangerously.

"I'm not finished-"

"OUT!" she yelled, pointing to the door.

"Fine!" James said, pulling on his backpack. "Fine! I can't believe I even
liked you in the first place!"

And with that, he shrugged on his backpack and stormed out of the hospital wing.
***
If James thought that Remus and Sirius would be warmer to him after Lily's incident, he was
sorely mistaken in the weeks that followed. Remus only spoke to him once, asking how Lily was and
when James told him what happened, Remus replied simply "I told you so" and walked away.
Sirius wouldn't even look at James long enough for James to tell him what had happened with
Lily.

Lily had been trying to avoid James as much as possible, and James the same. Deep down, he knew
that she was right, and that he was a horrible person for spying on her the way that he did, but
his stubborn side maintained that had he not been there, she would have died, and she was being a
brat to not see that.

Of course, the two of them had to be together for more often than either of them admitted to
liking. Lily's attempted murderer was no where to be found, and Dumbledore had called them in
several times for long sessions to find those in the school with probable cause to kill her.

"Snape," James had said one afternoon.

Lily snorted and James glared at her. This was going to be one of those sessions.

"Severus Snape, James?" Dumbledore asked, looking at him oddly. "I highly doubt
it-"

"You'll have to excuse Potter, Professor," Lily said, sighing melodramatically.
"He's still very immature."

"At least I'm not a self-centered-"

"Self-centered?!" Lily said, gasping.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. Lily blushed slightly and sat back, looking the other way. She
refused to let Potter make a fool out of her in front of Professor Dumbledore.

"In any case, James," Dumbledore said, eying the two of them. "I highly doubt
Severus Snape had the intention to kill Lily."

"Yes, actually, I have a quite amiable relationship with him," she said, sweetly.

"Slimy greaseball," James said, folding his arms in front of his chest and
huffing.

"Child," Lily hissed back.

"I think that's all for today," Dumbledore sighed. Lily and James stood up at the
same time, said their goodbye, and turned to storm out of the office at the same time. Of course,
they both reached the door at the same time.

"Ladies first, Potter," Lily glared at him.

"I don't see a lady," James sneered, and while Lily was agape at him, he slipped
through the door.

After walking a bit down the hall, James paused to press his forehead against the cold stone. It
must be a reflex. Hurting him in the soft spot of his ego caused him to be horribly nasty to her.
If he continued on this vein, the chances of her dating him were at zero.

To add to his misery, his paper on Animagi was due tomorrow. With a sigh, he drug his head away
from the stone and sluggishly walked to the library.
***
Speaking of the little "greaseball," Snape had been trailing James for some time now,
trying to catch him alone to speak with. He finally cornered James while he was in the library
finishing up research on his Animagi report. Snape approached him, and, with a furtive look around,
slid into a seat next to James.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" James asked, his voice hollow.

"There is a little matter of the other night to discuss," Snape hissed. James rolled
his eyes and gave him a dry look.

"You've already ruined my friendships, so why don't you just leave it alone?"
James asked.

"I am not here to get anything from you, Potter," Snape looked around to see if anyone
was watching them. "I'm sure, even with your besmirched bloodline that you've heard of
a life-debt, correct?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I am...in your life-debt," Snape growled. "So go ahead and tell me what you want
and we'll get this over with."

"I don't want anything from you, Snape," James turned the page.
"Just...forget it every happened."

"I can't, don't you understand?" Snape growled. "It can't just be
forgotten like that. The code of my family decrees that I have to repay your life-debt."

"Snape, this isn't the time," James sighed. He felt the back of his neck burn as
if someone was watching him and turned around. Lily was on the other side of the library, watching
him. She blushed and went back to her work. James sunk lower in his seat.

"Well then, I suppose I can appease it some other way," Snape shrugged, eyeing the
connection between the two. James looked at him, disgusted.

"No way-"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Potter!" Snape spat, looking as if he had a foul
taste in his mouth. "As your girlfriend doesn't like you hexing me, I'll...resist
baiting you around her," Snape finished, and it was apparent that it was hard to do.

"What?" James asked.

"I won't bait you when she's around, all right?"

James shook his head. "Do what you want, but she isn't going to be my girlfriend."
Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes when he followed James' line of sight.

He suddenly was struck with an idea and said slowly, "I bet you are most unhappy with what
Black did to her, aren't you?"

"Sirius..." James started, then blinked. "She? Bellatrix?" His face
contorted into a snarl. "What do you mean? Was she the one who-?" Anger surged through
his body, and his face flushed.

"Poisoned her?" Snape filled in. "Yes, and she's most proud of it, I'd
say. She doesn't stop blathering about it."

Anger surged through James' body and he balled up his fists. "Where is the bitch?
I'll rip her head off-"

"It wouldn't be wise," Snape said, cutting James off before he could do anything
stupid. "As her father is quite influential and would be able to do much worse if you went
after her."

"So what the hell am I supposed to do?"

Snape rolled his eyes. "Potter, sometimes your ignorance is deafening. Let me explain it to
you, and I'll use small words so that you understand."

James' glared daggers at him.

"I happen to know that the Slytherin Common Room has a trapdoor to hide any evidence that
could incriminate." Snape looked around more now, because he was telling a Gryffindor all of
this valued information.

"Really?" James was interested. "So you mean that if me and Pa-" He trailed
off and looked down at his paper. "He and Padfoot" weren't speaking to each other.
"So you think that she hid her stuff down there?"

"I'm almost positive. It's not like a Slytherin to destroy evidence. It prevents
bragging at parties," Snape sneered. "But, if I procure this evidence, you are not to use
this information I have given you in any way. Or else, I might just....let slip a little bit of
evidence about your friend, Mr. Lupin."

"You wouldn't!" James growled. "Dumbledore-"

"It won't matter. If any Slytherin gets wind of what I've told you, I'll be
dead faster than Dumbledore can expell me."

James stared at him. "So why are you telling me this stuff?"

"Because I am in your life-debt. While this isn't quite the most fulfilling of
payments, it will have to do, I suppose."

"Yeah," James nodded.

"So is this our agreement?" Snape held out his hand. James stared at it blankly.
"We have to shake on it, or else it's not a true agreement."

"I am not touching you."

"Potter, be an adult."

James looked at Snape's thin, white hand and took it and let go as quick as he could. They
both mirrored each's movement to wipe their hand on their robes as thoroughly as possible.



21. Saints and Angels
---------------------

*"When we're torn apart, shattered and scarred
Love has the grace to save us
We're just two tarnished hearts
But in each other's arms
We become saints and angels."
-Saints and Angels, Sara Evans*

Chapter Twenty-One

Lily was busy putting the finishing touches on her parchment about the Unforgivable Curses when
a shadow passed over her. She was about to tell off James Potter when she found herself
face-to-face with his best friend.

"Oh, hello," Lily said. Sirius actually was her least favorite Gryffindor, as
she'd like to believe that he was the one who ruined the rest of them, because some part of her
wanted to think that James was good at one point. And after all, Sirius was a Black...

"Mind if I join you tonight?" Sirius asked, looking at the chair.

Lily stared at him dryly. "I'm not going to accompany you to your room tonight,
Black-"

"No," Sirius laughed. "I just...I wanted some intelligent conversation tonight,
and as my mates and I aren't speaking to each other..."

"Oh," Lily said. "Well, some of them aren't that smart-"

"Tell me about it," Sirius snorted. "I tell you, I don't think Pete would
have passed fifth year if it wasn't for us-"

"I meant Potter."

"Oh," Sirius blinked. "What's he done?"

She glared at him. "As if you don't know."

"I probably do, but enlighten me anyways."

"I found out," she sniffed. "That he has been spying on me for the past
year."

"Ah," Sirius nodded. "That would do it."

"I mean, and then the blighter starts talking about how he �saved my life, so I
shouldn't be mad at him-'"

"How so?" Sirius asked.

"I'm..." she looked down and seemed a bit uncomfortable. "I'm not
supposed to be talking about it to anyone. Potter hasn't told you?"

"About?"

"Someone used the Trifalsus potion on me," Lily said, quietly. She tried not to think
about the incident itself, and was more focused on the discovery of James' spying on her, so
when she was forced to think about it, it always sent chills up her spine.

"Someone *what?*" Sirius yelled.

"SHH!" Lily said, putting her hand on his arm. "In any case, Potter was spying on
me when it took effect, so he...saved my life."

"You don't look to happy about this," Sirius said.

"He spied on me, Sirius!" Lily said, shaking her head. "I cannot forgive
that."

"Seems a bit silly to me," Sirius said. "To not be speaking to him after he saved
your life, simply because he spied on you..."

"Well, that sounds like something his friend would say," Lily sniffed.

"Too bad I'm not his friend at the present time," Sirius sniffed.

"Why?" Lily asked.

"What happened is a sensitive subject between Remus, James, and I," Sirius stated.
"But all you need to know is that Sirius screwed up...royally."

"I see," Lily nodded. "And have you even tried to apologize?"

Sirius sighed. "Lily, this screw-up won't even partially be forgiven with a simple
apology."

"Yes, but it's a first step," Lily said.

"Maybe you should take your own advice," Sirius said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you should maybe start to forgive James if he apologizes-"

"I'm not going to forgive what he did-"

"Oh bloody hell, Lily," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "The man just wanted to
figure out how you'd like him back, can you give him a break?"

Lily stared at him as he stood up, annoyed and walked to the portrait hole, just as James walked
through it. The two of them stared at each other for a minute, and then glared at each other.

"Lily?" James continued walking and came up to Lily. "The headmaster wants to see
us."

"For what?"

"I can't discuss it *here*," James threw a nasty glance to Sirius, who rolled
his eyes.

"Who said I wanted to listen?" he called from the portrait hole.

"Who said I wanted to tell you?"

"Please!" Lily interrupted. "Let's go, James."

James gave Sirius a triumphant glance and walked out of the Common Room with Lily.

"So what's this all about?" Lily asked.

"Revenge," James said, simply. That was all that was spoken until they reached the
stone gargoyle and walked up the stairs. Lily was shocked to find Bellatrix sitting there,
complacently, with Professor Dumbledore and a man she didn't know, but he looked nothing like a
wizard she'd ever seen. He had the straightest part of hair and the most impeccable mustache
that she was sure she'd nick her finger on it if she touched it-

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore interrupted her thoughts. His eyes weren't twinkling, but
he was looking quite grave. "This is Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law
Enforcement."

"Er...hello." Lily nodded. Crouch gave Lily a once over and then looked back to
Dumbledore.

"Albus, I'd much rather get this over and done with as soon as possible."

"Yes, yes, of course," Professor Dumbledore said. He turned to Lily and James.
"Miss Evans, you were poisoned on the sixth of April, were you not?"

"Yes, sir," Lily nodded.

"And Mr. Potter, did you save her using an Engorgement Charm?" Dumbledore nodded to
James.

"Yes sir," James nodded as well.

"And I attest to the fact that Miss Evans was suffering from the after-effects of the
Trifalsus potion," Dumbledore said, quietly.

"Taken, Lily Evans was poisoned by the Trifalsus Potion," Bartemious Crouch said,
hurried.

"Now, as for the culprit," Dumbledore turned to Lily. "Miss Evans, what contact
have you had with Miss Black before the incident?"

"Not much..she's in my year but..." She looked at Bellatrix who was smiling
smugly. "But the day of the incident, she...put something on my neck," Lily reached back
and rubbed the back of her neck.

"And the day before," James said, speaking up. "She was wearing a foul smelling
perfume, because I couldn't get it out of my nose for two hours afterwards."

"You can't prove any-" Bellatrix stopped short when Dumbledore procured two items;
a perfume sprayer and a small vile.

"Traces of both a diluted Swelling Solution and the Drought of the Living Dead,"
Dumbledore explained. "These were found by an anonymous source in an anonymous place. Inside
are traces of both the Swelling Solution in this perfume bottle and the Drought of the Living Dead
in this vial, which are used in the Trifalsus potion."

"And why do you say those are mine?" Bellatrix sneered. Dumbledore waved his hand over
the vials and two white figures (both which were identical to Bellatrix), picked up the bottles and
used them; the perfume bottle on herself and the vial on a ghost of Lily.

After this display, Bellatrix's upper lip stiffened visibly.

"We also have five House Elves who are ready to testify that they saw you in the kitchens
the day of April fifth."

"What importance was that day?" Bellatrix asked.

"That was the day you poisoned her, idiot," James muttered.

"With all of this evidence, do you wish to change your plea?" Dumbledore asked, his
eyes hard. "If you plead guilty, you might receive a lesser sentence. And if you wish to
divulge the whereabouts of Voldemort's next meeting spot, you might even be let free. Perhaps,
you'd like to name a few Death Eaters?"

Bellatrix let out a loud, shrill laugh. "Me? Sell out my master? I would rather go to
Azkaban."

Dumbledore sighed, gravely. "As I hate to see such youth wasted, but Mr.
Crouch..."

"Gladly," Crouch said, shooting manacles out of his wand and chaining Bellatrix's
hands together. Dumbledore handed him her wand and the three of them marched out of the office.

Lily and James, completely stunned, followed them out of the office but stood there and watched
as Bellatrix was lead out of Hogwarts, chained and head held high.

"Oh my God....*he* was trying to murder me?" Lily let out.

"Yes, it's cause you're in the Auror Program," James agreed conversationally.
Lily turned at threw daggers at him.

"And I suppose that you found this out listening to Dumbledore as your illegal Animagus
form, huh?"

"Lily..." James was tired of everyone being so mad at him. He turned to her and put
his hand on her arm. "Look, I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong, and I'm-"

"Potter, save it." Lily growled. "I don't want your apologies."

"What do you want?" James asked.

"I want you to leave me alone!" Lily cried, turning and running down the hall.
***
After the talk of Bellatrix Black's grand arrest, and the pointing of the papers at how she
was a supposed Death Eater died down, the school returned to boring, even more so since the
Marauders were still not on friendly terms. The days sped by way too fast (as dates which are
undesirable tend to do), and before any of the four knew it, it was the full moon.

Unlike past full moons, neither James nor Remus nor Sirius nor Peter had even spoken to each
other. The only signs that any of them had remembered was the gradual peakiness of Remus' face
with each closing day. Though neither of the other three spoke to each other, they all felt
completely terrible at the prospect of Remus spending the night by himself and hurting himself, as
he had used to do.

A dark shadow scuttled across the darkening grounds of Hogwarts, trying not to be seen by
anyone. He wanted to get down to the Whomping Willow before Remus completely lost his mind. Even if
Remus would never speak to him again, he didn't want to leave him to hurt himself.

He tapped the Whomping Willow's root and then slid through the doorway into the dark tunnel.
He felt his way along the wall, breaking off bits of dirt that were packed into the wall. He felt
as if he stepped on something and then tripped.

"Ow! Who's there?!"

"Prongs?"

"Padfoot?"

"Lumos," James whispered, and the light came on the two of them. Or, more accurately,
just Sirius. James was still under the invisibility cloak. He shrugged it off of his head and
stared at his former-friend.

"What're you doing here?" James asked.

"I'm gonna go see Moony," Sirius mumbled. "You, too?"

"Is it a good idea for you to be here?" James glared at him. "You may tell
someone else how to get past it. Maybe have a party tonight?"

"Prongs, I'm sorry," Sirius said, sincerely. "I fucked up royally."

"Yeah, you did," James said. Sirius threw his hands up in the air and plopped down on
the ground, putting his head in his hands.

"Prongs, you're my best mate," he said, softly. "These past few weeks have
been hell for me without you and Moony. Oh yeah, Wormtail, too," he added as an afterthought.
"I know what I did was wrong and all I'm asking is for your forgiveness."

"It's not mine to give," James said, not looking at him. "Padfoot, I want to
forgive you, but I can't help as if I'm betraying Moony if I forgive you before he
does."

"So that's it, then?" Sirius asked, hollowly.

"I guess, so," James nodded. Sirius took a deep breath and stood up again, marching
towards the patch of light in front of him. James, confused, followed.

"P-Padfoot?" Remus stuttered when they came into the shack. "What are you doing
here?"

"Moony, I'm sorry," Sirius said, walking over to him. "I am so
incredibly-completely-totally-
irreversibly-inescapably-please-please-pretty-please-with-a-Chocolate-Frog-on-top-forgive-me
sorry."

"Padfoot, I-"

"And I promise I'll never lay a hand on anyone as long as I live. No more pranks, no
more anything, I'll even help old ladies across the street."

"Sirius, wait-"

"And I promise that I'll make top grades now and I'll be nice to my family and
I'll never touch another girl as long as I....wait," he reconsidered, "I'll never
sleep with another girl unless I really fancy her, no, unless I really fancy her, or she's
really drunk...no, that's not right-"

"PADFOOT!" Remus interrupted him. "It's ok."

"I-what?" Sirius did a double-take.

"What?" James asked.

Remus took a deep breath, and they could tell that it was paining him to breath. "Padfoot,
I'm not...happy...with what you did, and I'll probably never forgive you for doing
it-"

"But, Moony-"

"However," Remus said, louder, "I'm forgiving you as you, not for what you
did...did that make sense?"

Sirius and James looked at each other and shook their heads �no.' Remus sighed and rubbed
his stomach.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is..." he looked up at them with tears in his
eyes. "I'm...I'm really glad you're here. I don't like being alone on a full
moon...and I don't want you to hate me and-"

"Dear me, Moony's getting weepy and he's rambling incessantly," James sighed,
a giant weight lifted off of his shoulders. "Sirius, I think that-"

"THANK YOU MOONY!" Sirius cried, running at his friend and tackling him to the ground
in a hug.

"OOOOWWW!" Remus howled. Sirius sprang off of him and helped him up.

"So, sorry about that, Moony-"

"It's ok," Remus grunted. "I was so worried that you wouldn't come and
then I'd be all alone again..."

"Moony, we'll never let you go through this alone," James said, plopping down
beside him.

"You know, we'll always be here for you," Sirius patted him on the back, gently.
"No matter what."

Suddenly, the door squeaked open and a rat ran through. The three humans laughed as Peter
transformed and wondered, "What's so funny?"

The laughter ended when Remus went stiff and pain marred his face. James and Sirius nodded at
each other and transformed.

The Marauders, though no longer the wild, boisterous boys they were before, were back in
business.



22. The First Cut is the Deepest
--------------------------------

*"I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure gonna give you a try
If you wanna try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest."
-The First Cut is the Deepest, Cat Stevens*

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Marauders made their comeback with a big bang. Literally. After that �eventful'
afternoon, it soon became apparent to the rest of the school that the four were making up for lost
time. Every time a class got out, there would be some new happening in the hallway. But along with
these pranks, slowly a new image of the four became apparent. They were no longer the mean
pranksters who chose innocent students as the victims, although Slytherins were often involved.

With the promise of fun times in the hallways, classes and days passed quickly and soon exams
were over and gone and the students were boarding the Hogwarts Express for their homes.

"Well, I knew everything would work itself out," Sirius stretched from his side of the
compartment, ignoring the doubting glance from Remus. "I'd hate to think of a
Marauder-less Hogwarts."

"You'd better get used to the idea," Remus said, stretching his feet across to the
other seat. "Next year is our last year."

"Ah-ha, dear Moony, I have thought of that! Next year, we're going to have a Marauder
boot camp to train a group of kids to fill our humongous shoes."

"Dare we ruin a batch of kids in that fashion?" Remus said, thoughtfully.

From the other side of the compartment, next to the window, James let out a mournful sigh as he
watched the trees fly by. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Prongs, you'll see her over the summer," he said.

"�s not gonna do anything," James mumbled. "I tried talking to her yesterday and
you know what she said to me?"

"What?" Peter said.

"Nothing! She completely ignored me!"

"Well, that's better than throwing insults, I guess," Sirius shrugged.
"Prongs, I know that this sounds bad, but you'd better find yourself another girl. What
about that chick that you dated last summer? I'll bet she's still available-"

"I don't want anyone else," James mumbled. "I want her."

"Prongs, why you're so obsessive, I'll never understand," Sirius cringed,
standing up. "Pardon me, mates, but I have to take a leak."

"Thanks for the information," Remus snorted.

"Anytime!" Sirius whistled merrily as he exited the compartment.
***
Sirius strolled down the hall, peeking into compartments, seeing if there were any of just
girls. A flash of red caught his eye and he backstepped to look through the window. Lily was
sitting in there, all alone, reading some book. Sirius slid open the door and leaned against
it.

"Afternoon, Miss Evans-"

"Save it, Black," Lily snorted. "I wondered when Potter would send in one of his
cronies to sway my way of thinking."

"Ouch!" Sirius laughed, closing the door behind him. "What have I done to merit
this attack?"

Lily glared at him.

"Come on, Lily love, he's not bad as all that is he? Sure, he tricked you a tiny bit by
spying on you, but what's a bloke supposed to do when he likes a girl."

"Oh, it wasn't for that. I know how you two work. You're just after sex and
that's it."

"My, my, Lily love..." Sirius chuckled, sliding into the seat across from Lily. She
looked about to say something about it. "A bit big-headed, aren't we?"

She nearly stood up in intrepidation. "I like how everyone thinks that I'm the
big-headed one here!!"

"Thinking that he went through all that just to get some action from you. You're pretty
cute, Darling, but no bird's worth all of that trouble, unless she's real
special."

"Really?" Lily said, doubtingly. "So care to inform me as to why he spied on
me?"

"Probably because he loves you," Sirius shrugged. Lily's mouth dropped open and
then she laughed, nervously.

"Your daft, Black. Potter? Loves me?"

It was Sirius' turn to laugh. "Where have you been the past 3 years, Lily love?
He's been falling over himself every time someone even mentions your name?"

"But he can't possibly....love me..."

"Maybe he doesn't know it now, but he does," Sirius shrugged. "Even now,
he's sitting in our compartment, near tears because you won't give him the time of day
anymore. His exact words were �I don't want anyone else, I want her'."

"Exactly!" Lily said, closing her book. "Only me? The one he can't
get!"

"There you go again, sounding egotistical." Sirius sighed.

"Well, what else am I supposed to believe? He turned into an Animagus to date me? To get to
know me better? To prove that he's the best in the class?"

Sirius opened and closed his mouth. Lily looked down at her book again.

"So...I take it that the rest of you are Animagi, right?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Sorta."

"Since Prongs is obvious, what is Padfoot?" she asked. Sirius looked out the window
and then transformed into the big, shaggy dog. Lily looked at him with a raised eyebrow and waited
until he turned back.

"And Wormtail is a rat-"

"Fitting," Lily snorted. "And Moony?"

"Er....Remus' mum showed us some pictures when he was a baby and he was bare naked,
so-"

"Sirius, you aren't going to sit there and tell me that Peter Pettigrew became an
Animagus, one of the most advanced spells, and Remus Lupin did not?"

"He...well...he doesn't need to," Sirius looked down. "I...I got in trouble
once for telling more about it, so I'd rather not go on-"

"He's a werewolf, isn't he?" Lily stated. Sirius looked at her with an open
mouth and nodded. Lily sat back and smiled at Sirius. "Well, I'm glad I wasn't totally
off base."

"How'd you find out?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius, I used to take rounds with him, remember? He'd always find some excuse to get
out of going on the full moon. Plus he always looks so sick, but, what does that have to do with
you being Animagi?"

"You have to understand something, love," Sirius said, leaning forwards. "Remus,
when he transforms, it's very painful. It's actually much worse after, though. Without
humans to bite at, he bites at himself."

Lily gasped.

"He'd come back bleeding and half-dead from blood loss, but he'd always keep his
head up and carry on. So me and James, once we figured it out, we decided that we'd do
something about it. Actually," Sirius thought, "it was all James, and me, always looking
for an opportunity to show off, joined him. It took us three years to finally master it all by
ourselves, most of that was helping Wormtail, but we finally did it.

"You see, Lily-love, when we're with Moony, he doesn't hurt himself, and he keeps
more of his mind. So that's why James became an Animagus. Not to spy on you, or to do anything
bad, but to help his best friend."

Lily looked at the ground and laughed a little bit. "And here I was, thinking that he did
that just to get in bed with me and he's been doing it for his friend."

"Yes, you see how that was a bit big-headed of you," Sirius nodded. "But you
didn't know. So now that you know, what do you think of Mr. James William Potter?"

Lily sat back and eyed him. "Now how do I know that this isn't some story that you
concocted to...." She sighed. "Never mind, that's probably big-headed of me
too."

"He's not such a prat, though, is he?"

"There's still the fact that he spied on me. And that he fights Snape with no apparent
reason!"

"Ah, yes. Well, the first one is a big, giant screw up on his part," Sirius winked.
"I never said that he was perfect, now did I? He's been trying to apologize to you, and
you've been blowing him off. As to the second part of that accusation, I can honestly say that
he will never fight Snape again while you are in the vicinity."

"And how do you know this?" Lily asked.

"Well, you see, we've all had some screw-ups lately, James had his, and I had mine.
I-er-sorta told Snape how to get to Remus when he asked-"

"You did *what*?"

"Funny, that's what James said when I told him," Sirius laughed, nervously.
"But anyways, long story short, James saved Snape's life and was in this life-debt thing
that pure-blooded idiots have. So to pay it off, Snape agreed to not bug you two and to go get the
junk that Bellatrix used to try to kill you."

"James saved his life?" Lily gasped. "But he hates Snape!"

"Yeah, he does, but he doesn't want to see anyone get killed, Lily-love. Deep down,
James has a heart, it's just not in the right place often." He leaned forwards. "So
how �bout it, Lily-love? Wanna give James another chance?"

Lily laughed a little bit. "Why are you so interested?"

"Well, because I have to live with the prick and all summer it'll be moaning and
whining about how �Lily doesn't love me' and �I've missed my chance forever.'
Don't you love me more than that?"

"He won't do that," Lily blushed.

"Oh yes he will. He's doing it right now, in our compartment. Go see!" Sirius
said.

"I think I'll pass, thanks," Lily smiled, half-heartedly. "I've got some
thinking to do."

"Well, just understand that nobody's perfect, but James really does love you."

"Sirius, we've already gone over this before. James doesn't love me-"

"Oh," Sirius laughed, "did I say �love?' I meant, �wants do date,'
oops!"

"I'm sure you did, Padfoot," Lily said. "You'd better get back to the
rest of your group, lest they come looking for you."

"I will, and you do your thinking. Just remember that you love me and my sanity!"
Sirius said, as he walked out the door.
***
James shuffled off the train and immediately spotted his parents. Sirius was already bounding
over to give them big hugs (in front of his own parents who barely ever looked at him when he lived
with them). He watched as Lily stepped off of her compartment and went to go get her things off of
the train.

"James! Honey, what's wrong?" Mrs. Potter said, touching her son's face.
"You look like you've lost every game this season."

"It's nothing, Mum," James sighed.

"He's just had his last chance with this girl and now she won't even look at
him," Sirius filled in. James scowled at him and then pouted.

"Come on, son, I'm sure that she'll forgive you after a bit of the ol' Potter
charm!"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Potter, but that ol' Potter charm is what drove her away
in the first place!" Sirius sniggered.

"Stuff it, Padfoot," James threatened, but it was a half-hearted threat.

"Erm...James?" came a very timid and nervous voice behind him. James felt his heart
leap into his throat and he turned around. Lily had a light blush on her cheeks and was biting her
lip (rather cutely, James thought).

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Can I...can I talk to you for a second?" She was aware of Mrs. Potter's eyes on
her and she looked down at her entwined fingers.

"Sure?" James looked to his mother and shrugged, following Lily to a semi-secluded
portion of the platform.

Lily turned around and finally looked James in the eye. "Look, P-James. I-"

"Lily, I'm so sorry that I did what I did!" James interrupted, taking her hands.
The dam was broke. "I'm sorry that I'm such a prat, and I'm sorry that I spied on
you. I'm sorry that I hurt you, though I didn't mean to, honestly I didn't. All I
wanted was to find out more about you and-" Lily took one hand out of his and pressed the tips
of her finger to his mouth.

"James," Lily smiled. "It's me who should be apologizing. Here I was being
such a...'big- head,' when all you were doing was helping Remus."

James stood back. "How-" She pressed her fingers harder to his mouth to silence
him.

"A little doggy walked in and told me," she smiled. James rolled his eyes.

"I should have known. He looked way to smug when he came back from the loo."

"Anyways, what I'm trying to say is..." She took a deep breath. "James,
I've done a lot of thinking since Sirius talked with me, and I've decided that you
aren't a....as much of a prat as I originally thought. And, I was so busy being...well...being
terrible, that I never had the opportunity to thank you for saving my life...So...and just stop me
if this sounds really lame, but...if you want, sometime in-between Auror classes, we can...get
together...if you-"

"You mean it!" James' eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas.
"Really?"

Lily nodded. His mouth broke out into the biggest smile that Lily had ever seen him, and it was
a nice smile (and it made him very cute, she added silently). He lunged forwards and swept her into
a bone-crushing hug.

"Thank you so much, Lily!" he whispered.

"James," Lily pushed him away a little (but not too much, she was still in his arms).
"I...well, if this turns out to be anything, I want to go slow."

"Slow! Yes! I can do slow!" he nodded, vagariously. He had a calculating look on his
face for a moment and then leaned forward. Lily moved her head to the side a little bit.

"Slow, remember?"

"A kiss on the cheek?" James begged. "Just a little peck?" Lily looked
doubtful. "Come on, it's a friendly thing. And I promise it'll be innocent-"

"You aren't still on about that, are you?" Lily rolled her eyes. "Fine, a
little �peck' on the cheek."

James grinned and leaned forwards-

"So, Prongs, what are we going to do when we get home?" Sirius interrupted when James
was an inch from Lily's creamy cheek. James cleared his throat and gave Sirius a meaningful
glance. Sirius made a sound of understanding.

"Sorry!" he apologized.

"Sorry about that, Lily," James whispered and went to kiss her on the cheek.

"But as I was saying-!" Sirius came up again. James growled and whirled on him.

"Padfoot, I'm kinda BUSY right...." He also had a look of recognition and then
scowled as Sirius shook with silent laughter.

"That's not funny," he pointed.

"Yes, actually, it's riotous," Sirius stepped back a little bit. "But sorry,
Lily-love. I'll let you get your kiss."

"Thank you, Padfoot," James glared. He turned back to Lily and put his hand on her
cheek, leaning forwards....

"But it's just too good of an opportunity-" Sirius didn't finish that
statement because James had bounded after him. James skidded to a stop after a few steps,
backtracked to Lily, grabbed her face in his hands, and planted a very sensuous kiss flat on her
lips that left her a little dizzy.

"See you later, Lily!" he called, running after his best friend. He finally caught up
with Sirius and tackled him to the ground, putting him in a head lock.

"Good gracious, Lily, is that your boyfriend?" Petunia's snobbish voice came from
behind Lily. Her mother stood with her hands on Oliver's shoulders watching Lily with amusement
in her eyes.

"Not yet, Petty, but he is...sorta deer to me," she shrugged, following her family off
the platform and back into Muggle London.

***SGR's Note**: Hello and thanks for reading! I decided to wait until the end of the
book to do an Author's note simply because I have a surprise for you.*

There are two completed sequels. And they are both on FF.N.

Why did I wait so long? Because this book was crap on FF.N, and the sequels are crap too, but
not so much crap. I'm going to edit the other two and post them here as well, but if you *just*
can't wait, go to FF.N.

Again, thank you so much for reading, I very much appreciate it!



